It’s a truth universally acknowledged that every generation has its own quirks and norms. But, what’s acceptable for one generation may not fly with the next.

Take the Boomers, for instance. They introduced some behaviors that were considered normal, even healthy, during their time. But fast forward to today, and Gen Z views some of these behaviors as emotionally toxic.

In this piece, I’ll be breaking down seven such behaviors. This isn’t about blaming Boomers, but rather about understanding how societal norms evolve over time and how we can learn from each other to foster healthier interactions.

Let’s dive in and discover what these behaviors are and why they’re viewed differently by Gen Z. Buckle up, it’s going to be an enlightening journey across generations!

1) Conflict avoidance

Boomers grew up in an era where emotions were often kept under wraps. It was common to sweep uncomfortable topics under the rug, rather than address them head-on.

This approach, known as conflict avoidance, may have worked in some scenarios. But fast forward to today, and Gen Z views it as emotionally toxic.

Why? Because avoiding difficult conversations doesn’t make the problem go away. It merely buries it, only for it to resurface later, often with a vengeance.

Gen Z prefers open and honest communication, even when it’s uncomfortable. They believe in addressing issues directly rather than bottling them up.

While the ‘keep calm and carry on’ mantra worked for Boomers, Gen Z prefers a more upfront approach. And it’s an approach that many of us could benefit from adopting in our own lives.

2) ‘Work until you drop’ attitude

Now, here’s one that hits close to home for me. I remember my father, a quintessential Boomer, working long hours and rarely taking time for himself. A break, to him, was a luxury he couldn’t afford.

This ‘work until you drop’ attitude was seen as a badge of honor among his peers. The more you worked, the more you were respected.

But today, Gen Z sees this behavior as emotionally toxic. They prioritize work-life balance and understand the importance of taking time out for self-care. Working non-stop isn’t seen as commendable, rather it’s viewed as a recipe for burnout.

Looking back, I can see how my father’s relentless work ethic took a toll on his wellbeing. And it’s a pattern I’ve consciously tried to avoid repeating in my own life.

Gen Z is teaching us that it’s not about how much we work, but how well we work and live. It’s a lesson worth learning, no matter what generation you’re from.

3) ‘Children should be seen and not heard’

Growing up, many Boomers were taught that children should be seen and not heard. This meant that kids were expected to stay quiet and not interrupt adult conversations.

However, this mentality can lead to communication barriers and feelings of invalidation in young people. It sends a message that their thoughts and feelings don’t matter.

Gen Z, with its focus on open dialogue and inclusivity, sees this behavior as emotionally toxic. They advocate for valuing the voices of young people and encouraging them to share their opinions.

Did you know that studies have shown that children who are encouraged to express their thoughts and feelings grow up to be more confident and articulate adults? It’s a shift in perspective that Gen Z is championing, and it’s one we could all benefit from.

4) ‘Boys don’t cry’

In many Boomer households, boys were often taught to suppress their emotions. Phrases like ‘boys don’t cry’ were commonplace, reinforcing the idea that showing vulnerability was a sign of weakness.

This kind of emotional repression is seen by Gen Z as emotionally toxic. They understand the importance of emotional literacy, irrespective of gender and believe that expressing emotions is a fundamental part of being human.

Gen Z is breaking down these antiquated gender norms and promoting a healthier understanding of emotions. They’re teaching us all that it’s not just okay to express our feelings—it’s essential.

5) ‘Don’t air your dirty laundry’

Growing up, there was an unspoken rule in my house: family matters stay within the family. The phrase ‘don’t air your dirty laundry’ was more than just an old adage—it was a directive.

Boomers often normalized the idea of keeping personal issues private. Sharing such matters, especially outside the family, was seen as inappropriate or even shameful.

Today, Gen Z sees this behavior as emotionally toxic. They understand the value of seeking support and sharing experiences as a way to cope with personal struggles.

In my own life, breaking this generational norm has led to deeper connections and better mental health. It’s a refreshing change that highlights the importance of transparency and support in our lives.

6) ‘You’re too young to understand’

This is a phrase most of us recall hearing growing up. Boomers often held the belief that certain topics were too complex or mature for young minds to comprehend.

But Gen Z sees this dismissive attitude as emotionally toxic. They believe that age shouldn’t be a barrier to understanding or participating in important discussions.

Today’s young generation advocates for being informed and involved, regardless of their age. They believe in the importance of early education on critical issues, fostering a sense of responsibility and awareness from a young age.

It’s a shift away from patronizing protection to empowering education, and it’s a change we can all stand to learn from.

7) ‘That’s just the way it is’

Boomers often normalized the acceptance of the status quo, with phrases like ‘that’s just the way it is’ being used to dismiss questioning or challenging established norms.

Gen Z, however, sees this passive acceptance as emotionally toxic. They believe in questioning, challenging, and changing the status quo when it is unjust or harmful.

This generation is not content with simply accepting ‘the way things are’. They are pushing for change, fighting for equality, and demanding a better future.

It’s a bold and brave stance that encourages us all to question our own acceptance of the status quo and strive for a world that is not just better for us, but better for everyone.

Embracing change: A generational journey

The beauty of the human experience lies in our ability to evolve emotionally and socially. Each generation brings with it new perspectives, pushing us to reconsider established norms and behaviors.

What Gen Z sees as emotionally toxic, Boomers normalized. This stark contrast isn’t a point of contention; rather, it’s a testament to our growth as a society.

Every generation has its strengths and shortcomings. The key is to learn from each other, fostering an environment of understanding and acceptance.

As we navigate this generational journey, let’s remember a quote by renowned author Paulo Coelho, “The world is changed by your example, not by your opinion.”

Here’s to embracing change, setting examples, and creating a world that respects emotional health across generations.