I’ve always been fascinated by how some folks can remain cool as cucumbers under pressure.

Whether it’s a demanding job, a personal crisis, or the day-to-day chaos that inevitably rears its head, certain individuals seem to take it all in stride—and even grow stronger.

Over the years, I’ve tried to piece together what sets these people apart.

Today, I’d like to share eight key traits I’ve noticed in people who thrive amid chaos, backed by some psychological insights and a sprinkling of personal experience.

Let’s get into it.

1) They embrace adaptability

I’ve mentioned this before in a previous post, but it’s worth repeating: change is one of the few constants in life.

Those who thrive under stress generally view change as an invitation rather than an imposition.

Instead of seeing new challenges—like a sudden job transition or unexpected family emergency—as purely negative, they roll up their sleeves and ask, “What can I learn from this?”

Instead of fighting reality, they find ways to adjust.

It doesn’t mean they don’t feel pressure or anxiety; it just means they pivot quickly once the storm rolls in.

I remember when my daughter and son-in-law had to relocate suddenly for work, right in the midst of their twins’ first year of school.

Talk about stressful.

Yet they adapted by immediately researching new schools, arranging a moving schedule, and reaching out to local parent groups for support.

Sure, they were nervous, but they didn’t let that uncertainty paralyze them. Instead of remaining stuck, they moved forward.

2) They practice emotional regulation

You’ve probably heard the phrase “Keep calm and carry on.”

It’s everywhere these days, but its roots trace back to a 1939 British poster meant to bolster public morale—an ethos Winston Churchill famously embodied.

People who excel in chaos often live that saying.

Rather than lashing out or breaking down, they acknowledge their emotions and find a healthy way to handle them.

I’ve seen friends take a quick walk around the block when they sense anger bubbling up during an argument.

Others might pause to take a few deep breaths before deciding how to respond to a stressful email.

This is all about emotional regulation—a crucial skill highlighted by multiple psychological studies.

Those who regulate their emotions effectively can think more clearly and make better decisions in the heat of the moment.

Of course, emotional regulation isn’t about bottling things up.

It’s about channeling that rush of adrenaline or burst of frustration into something constructive.

A mentor of mine used to say, “If you can’t manage your temper, your temper will manage you.”

Wise words, indeed.

3) They maintain strong support networks

I’ve often found that the people who navigate turbulent times best don’t do so alone.

They have friends, family, co-workers, or community members they can lean on for guidance and reassurance.

According to research from the Harvard Study of Adult Development—a longitudinal study that has tracked people for decades—having strong relationships is a key factor in health and well-being, especially under stress.

This doesn’t mean you need a giant circle of acquaintances.

Some of us are introverted and keep just a handful of trusted allies.

The important thing is having at least a few folks you can call when things get tough.

Whenever life throws a curveball my way—like the time I had a health scare a few years back—my instinct is to reach out to close friends.

There’s nothing like knowing someone is on the other end of the phone, ready to listen or offer a word of advice.

4) They maintain a sense of humor

Have you ever been in a tense situation where someone cracks a joke and suddenly the tension lifts?

A well-timed laugh can be more than just a social nicety; it can be a survival mechanism.

People who manage stress effectively often find ways to lighten the mood.

They crack a silly pun, share a funny story, or simply point out the absurdity of the situation.

Why does humor help?

According to some psychologists, laughter triggers the release of feel-good hormones like endorphins, which help reduce stress and improve overall mood.

It also shifts perspective.

Sometimes, when we can laugh at the chaos—even briefly—it reminds us that life isn’t just a looming dark cloud. There’s room for joy, even in hard times.

I’ve seen this in action with my grandchildren.

If I’m frazzled over something mundane—like a messed-up dinner plan—they’ll often make a goofy face or tease me just enough to break through my frustration.

It’s a small moment, but it’s enough to help me reset.

5) They stay solutions-focused

When I was still working in an office, I had a boss who loved quoting Winston Churchill.

One of his favorites was, “If you’re going through hell, keep going.”

At the time, I found it a bit dramatic—let’s just say the office wasn’t exactly a war zone—but looking back, I see his point.

People who do well under pressure tend to focus on finding solutions rather than dwelling on problems.

This problem-solving attitude allows them to channel anxiety into action.

Instead of getting stuck in endless worry, they’ll ask, “What steps can I take right now?”

It might be as small as sending an email, delegating a task, or making a quick phone call to clarify a misunderstanding.

Each small action has a compounding effect, gradually easing the stress because, well, progress is happening.

6) They know when to recharge

Ironically, people who excel in stressful environments are often the same ones who know how to rest.

They understand that you can’t keep sprinting forever without collapsing at some point.

Whether it’s grabbing a quick nap, savoring a cup of tea, or playing fetch with the dog, they schedule regular breaks to breathe and refocus.

I learned this lesson the hard way.

Back in my 40s, I thought being tough meant pushing through exhaustion and never saying no.

I ended up fatigued, irritable, and far less effective at handling stress.

Over time, I realized that consistent downtime actually allowed me to cope better when things got hectic again.

Psychology backs this up—periods of rest can boost creativity and decision-making skills, both of which you need when life is throwing lemons at you every other minute.

7) They maintain perspective

People who thrive under stress have a knack for stepping back and asking, “Is this really as big as it feels?” or “How will this affect me a year from now?”

By zooming out to the bigger picture, they place current troubles in a wider context.

This doesn’t magically erase stress, but it can shrink the problem down to a more manageable size.

Sometimes, it helps to remember that the world keeps spinning, even when we’re knee-deep in chaos.

I still practice this perspective shift—especially when juggling family obligations and unexpected hiccups.

Just the other day, my granddaughter spilled juice all over an important document I was reviewing.

Did I get frustrated?

Sure.

But I also realized it wasn’t the end of the world. I cleaned up, reprinted the document, and that was that.

A small bump, not a catastrophe.

8) They find meaning in adversity

Finally but perhaps most importantly, people who thrive under pressure often attribute a deeper purpose to their hardships.

It might be spiritual, philosophical, or simply personal growth.

When tough times hit, those who see it as a chance to build character, learn valuable lessons, or strengthen their resolve often fare better in the long run.

Instead of feeling like victims of circumstance, they feel like active participants in their own life story.

And that shift in mindset can be the difference between merely surviving and genuinely thriving.

I’ve seen this mindset in action with my neighbors, who dealt with a family emergency not long ago.

They chose to share their journey on social media—both the struggles and the small victories.

In doing so, they found a community of support and even discovered ways to help others going through similar challenges. They didn’t just endure the chaos; they found purpose in it.

Final thoughts

So there you have it: eight traits I’ve noticed in people who don’t just survive the storm, but seem to come out stronger on the other side.

If you see a few traits here that feel out of reach, don’t be discouraged. We’re all works in progress.

Building resilience isn’t about perfection—it’s about practice.

The next time life throws a wrench in your plans, try adopting just one of these traits, whether it’s focusing on a concrete solution, leaning on a trusted friend, or taking a moment to see the bigger picture.

Over time, you might surprise yourself with how steady you remain, even when the world around you feels anything but.