Have you ever looked at someone and thought, “They’ve clearly never had to face real hardship”?

It usually happens when a person’s behavior makes it painfully obvious they haven’t learned the empathy, grit, or open-mindedness that comes from struggling a bit.

My psychology background taught me that adversity can shape us for the better.

But in my own life, being a single mom and juggling multiple responsibilities taught me far more about compassion than any textbook ever could.

And one thing I’ve noticed is this: People who have never had to struggle in life often display certain behaviors that betray just how “out of touch” they can be.

Below, I’ve highlighted eight of the most common signs.

Let’s dive in.

1. They trivialize other people’s hardships

“The rent is so cheap here—why are you complaining?” or “Just apply for another job.”

Statements like these suggest someone is unable to grasp that not everyone has the same safety net or resources.

They see the world through their own privileged lens, missing the fact that life’s struggles can vary widely from person to person.

The truth is, everyone’s path comes with its own obstacles. When someone consistently treats your concerns as trivial, it’s a red flag that they lack real-world understanding.

They haven’t had to figure out how to pay rent after a job loss or scramble for childcare when money’s tight.

They can’t imagine it, so they dismiss it.

It’s as if they’re saying, “I’ve never walked that road, so clearly it can’t be that bad.”

That mindset never helps anyone grow.

2. They assume everyone has the same resources

This ties closely to the first point, but it deserves its own spotlight.

People who’ve been sheltered often forget that not everyone can tap into family wealth or well-connected networks.

They’ll advise a friend to “go back to school” without realizing how expensive tuition is.

Or they’ll assume you can just hire help for your responsibilities at home, never grasping the financial reality behind that suggestion.

Data from the Mental Health Foundation suggests that financial insecurity is a significant source of stress, which can lead to anxiety and other mental health issues.

When you have never worried about keeping the lights on, you might think that everyone else must have the same financial cushion.

You see, it’s not just about money either—it can be connections, support systems, even having a parent who believes in you enough to help you hustle for opportunities.

When someone overlooks these realities, it can come across as dismissive or naïve.

3. They show little empathy in conversation

Conversations with out-of-touch people can feel like giving a heartfelt confession to a blank wall.

They may nod or chime in with a cliché like, “Things always work out,” without attempting to understand your unique situation.

I remember reading Adam Grant’s perspective on the power of truly listening. He once stated, “The most meaningful way to succeed is to help others succeed.”

When you genuinely listen—when you allow someone else’s words to affect you—you create the space for empathy to grow.

But some people, especially those who’ve never struggled, see listening as a task to check off rather than a chance to connect.

They don’t invest in empathy because they don’t feel the need for it in their own lives.

As a result, their relationships stay shallow.

Their conversations feel hollow.

4. They believe ‘positive thinking’ is the only solution

I’m all for optimism. But it becomes toxic when someone brushes off real challenges by saying, “Just think positive.”

 Psychotherapist Selda Koydemir suggests that while optimism can promote mental well-being, it needs to be balanced with a realistic view of life’s hurdles.

Imagine you’re stressed about piling debts or a complicated medical condition, and all you get in return is a cheery “It’ll be fine, don’t worry.”

That’s not real support.

That’s dismissal.

When someone relies on the “think happy thoughts” tactic for every problem, it shows they lack the depth that comes from working through the messiness of life.

They might think a cheerful outlook is enough because they’ve never had to do the heavy lifting of, say, budgeting down to the last dollar, or navigating the complexities of a health crisis.

5. They expect instant results

“Why haven’t you achieved more by now?”

Or, “If you want to lose weight, just go to the gym every day.”

That simplistic mindset reveals a disconnect from the reality that meaningful change takes time and often involves setbacks.

When someone hasn’t struggled, they’re prone to believe that all success follows a straight line upward, never imagining the twists and turns.

I’ve noticed this with people who believe I can just write a book in a weekend or “whip up” an entire marketing strategy overnight.

They’ve never had to stay up until 2:00 a.m. balancing a full-time job with childcare or hustle for months to reach a modest milestone.

They want quick fixes and immediate gratification, forgetting that the real world rarely works that way.

6. They measure worth purely by external markers

Big house. Top-tier job title. Flashy car.

People who’ve never struggled often judge themselves—and others—by these outward signs of “success.”

They forget that character, resilience, and empathy might matter more in the grand scheme of things.

In other words, life isn’t only about external badges of achievement. It’s also about growth, understanding, and relationships.

I try to instill that lesson in my own son, encouraging him to be open-minded and considerate rather than focusing on appearances.

But for someone who’s sailed through life, achievements and reputation often become the main measure of human value.

It can leave them clueless about the deeper emotional wealth others gain through overcoming hardship.

7. They are blind to their own privilege

This might be the most glaring sign of all.

A person who’s never struggled can be completely unaware that they hold a privileged position.

They might say things like, “Privilege? I work hard, so I deserve what I have,” ignoring the fact that not everyone starts at the same line in the race.

Sure, hard work matters. But so do context and opportunity—factors that might be invisible to someone who’s always had a head start.

That brings me to my next point: acknowledging privilege isn’t about dismissing your efforts; it’s recognizing that some people face extra hurdles.

For instance, consider these everyday realities many people face:

• Single-income households where every unexpected expense feels like a catastrophe.
• Work environments that offer zero benefits, making it impossible to take a sick day.
• Family obligations that eat away at free time, forcing people to multitask in ways others don’t even consider.

When someone has never experienced these scenarios, they may fail to see how “privileged” they really are.

And that obliviousness can come across as callous or even smug.

8. They take relationships for granted

Before we wrap up, let’s look at one more angle.

Connection.

Out-of-touch individuals often fail to nurture genuine relationships because they assume people will always be there for them.

They might treat friends like optional accessories or only show up in times of celebration, never in moments of crisis.

Why?

Because they’ve never had to navigate the complexities of leaning on others when the chips were down.

They’ve never stayed awake at night worried that a support system could crumble without consistent care.

When that piece is missing, people start taking loved ones for granted, assuming relationships can thrive on autopilot.

Conclusion

I’ve made my share of mistakes, so I’m right here with you.

The habits mentioned above aren’t set in stone. Some people just haven’t encountered the life experiences that push them to grow.

Struggle isn’t something to glorify, but it can teach profound lessons in empathy, resilience, and self-awareness.

If you find yourself dealing with someone who’s never had to struggle—or maybe you recognize some of these behaviors in your own life—remember that we all have the capacity to learn, change, and do better.

Small steps in acknowledging our blind spots can spark a much bigger transformation.

And that’s a shift worth making.