Have you ever felt the urge to organize your sock drawer by color and pattern, down to the smallest detail?

While anxiety can manifest in countless ways, some behaviors are surprisingly specific—and they don’t always look like the classic “nervous pacing” you might imagine.

Below are eight bizarrely specific things people do that, more often than not, scream “I have anxiety and a need for control.”

If you recognize yourself in any of these examples, remember you’re not alone.

Let’s get started.

1. Rearranging and aligning objects obsessively

Maybe you find yourself adjusting the salt and pepper shakers on a restaurant table until they’re precisely aligned.

Or you can’t stand having a picture frame just a degree off-center.

It seems harmless.

But for someone with anxiety, it’s often a subconscious attempt to impose order on the unpredictable nature of life.

I remember reading James Clear once stated that small habits can compound over time—both good and bad.

In this scenario, the “bad” can be a constant need to micro-adjust your environment, which becomes a habit that only perpetuates your anxiety.

If you see yourself in this, consider a quick check:

Is this action genuinely bringing you peace, or is it fueling a cycle of anxious compulsion?

Taking a moment to pause before you nudge that last book into perfect alignment can help you break the cycle and remind you that life doesn’t need to be perfectly lined up to be okay.

2. Over-planning the entire day in minute detail

I used to keep a schedule that was mapped out down to the five-minute mark.

I’d have alarms for everything—brewing coffee, sending emails, folding laundry—because I feared falling behind in any area of my life.

It gave me an illusion of control.

But it also left no room for spontaneity or those pockets of joy that come from unplanned moments.

If you’re someone who color-codes your calendar and freaks out when a friend cancels a coffee date last-minute, try allowing small bursts of unplanned time.

Start with an hour or two on the weekend.

It can feel uncomfortable at first, but breaking that urge to micro-plan can help reduce the tight grip of anxiety.

After all, life is rarely predictable, and learning to go with the flow can be surprisingly empowering.

3. Repeatedly checking emails or messages for reassurance

Some people can leave their inbox unattended for hours.

But when anxiety creeps in, you might find yourself refreshing your email or chat apps every few minutes, hoping you didn’t miss something important or worrying about how someone might respond.

It’s a constant vigilance that stems from the fear of letting anyone down or missing a crucial opportunity.

Research highlights how people with higher levels of anxiety often engage in “safety behaviors” like persistent checking.

The irony?

Over-checking tends to magnify stress.

Every new notification can become a micro-burst of worry: “Is this good news or bad news?”

Setting boundaries, like only checking messages at specific times of day, can offer a liberating sense of balance.

You get to reclaim your mental space instead of constantly scanning for external validation.

4. Making intricate backup plans for the simplest tasks

I have a friend—let’s call her Lily—who can’t just go to the grocery store.

She has to know every possible route, the busiest times to avoid, and her backup store options if the items aren’t in stock.

She once created a map of alternative parking lots in case her favorite one was full.

It might sound extreme, but for Lily, it was a coping mechanism that gave her a sense of certainty in a world full of question marks.

Over-preparation can feel safe in the moment, yet it’s also incredibly draining.

You may catch yourself doing it for something as simple as buying milk or picking up your child from school.

What helps is to notice the pattern and ask whether you truly need all those contingencies.

Try replacing exhaustive backup plans with one straightforward plan A and a simpler plan B.

If something still goes wrong, remind yourself you can handle it on the fly.

Because you can.

5. Over-organizing personal spaces (like the fridge or closet)

I used to meticulously arrange everything in my fridge: the top shelf for dairy, next one for produce, and so on.

Then I’d label each section just to be sure no one mixed up the categories.

Was it tidy?

Absolutely.

But underneath was a tightly wound knot of anxiety.

At home, I’m teaching my son to be open-minded about how he organizes his own space, because I don’t want him to inherit my past tendencies for obsessive structure.

According to the APA, small organizational habits can turn into full-blown compulsions when they’re driven by fear or a desire to control every aspect of the environment.

To break free, it might be helpful to think about the difference between a useful system and an anxious compulsion.

Here are some quick questions to ask yourself before you dive into an organizing spree:

• Am I doing this to genuinely save time later, or am I seeking a sense of emotional relief?

• Do I feel panicky if things aren’t perfectly organized?

• Could my energy be better spent on something else?

If your answers point to anxiety, try letting one small area (like a single drawer) remain “imperfect.”

You may find you can tolerate it better than you think.

6. Over-apologizing for things beyond your control

“Sorry the traffic was terrible today.”

“Sorry you didn’t like the restaurant suggestion.”

“Sorry it’s raining.”

If you find yourself apologizing for events you had no hand in, it might be a sign you’re grappling with underlying anxiety.

You’re trying to keep everyone happy, maintain harmony, and steer clear of conflict.

But apologizing for random things can wear you out emotionally and chip away at your self-confidence.

It also sets a precedent that you’re responsible for uncontrollable circumstances, which piles on unnecessary guilt.

As Glennon Doyle once stated, sometimes the bravest thing is simply recognizing you can’t—and shouldn’t—carry everyone else’s burdens.

Pause before you say “I’m sorry” for something you didn’t cause.

Ask yourself if an apology is truly warranted.

If it’s not, focus on a statement of understanding instead, like “I hear you,” or “That’s frustrating, I get it.”

7. Needing to control group activities or decisions

Do you notice yourself taking charge of every group plan, from selecting the restaurant to finalizing the itinerary?

Sometimes, people who appear super organized are actually fueling their anxiety behind the scenes.

They fear that if they don’t handle every detail, everything will fall apart—or that people won’t have a good time.

According to a study published by the NIMH, individuals who exhibit controlling tendencies in social settings often do so as a protective measure against perceived chaos.

Rather than labeling yourself a “control freak,” it might help to see this trait for what it is: a strategy to calm that anxious feeling that arises when everything seems out of your hands.

The next time you’re out with friends or colleagues, try delegating responsibilities or going with someone else’s plan.

Let the chips fall where they may.

You might feel uneasy at first, but it helps break the mental pattern that you alone must be responsible for everyone’s satisfaction.

8. Obsessively rewriting texts or emails before hitting send

I don’t want to skip something crucial, so let’s talk about the endless draft-edit cycle.

If you find yourself rewriting a text five times just to make sure it “sounds okay,” or you agonize over your email punctuation as if your entire reputation hinges on it, that’s a telltale sign of anxiety.

It’s a hyper-awareness of how you might be perceived by others.

Ironically, this quest for the perfect message can make communication even more stressful.

A single misplaced comma can feel like a catastrophe.

But at some point, you have to trust that the content of your message is more important than flawless syntax.

You deserve the mental clarity that comes with letting go of perfection.

Try a time limit: give yourself two minutes to draft and revise.

Then hit send.

Remind yourself that in the grand scheme, that extra exclamation mark (or the lack of one) isn’t going to break any relationship.

In fact, it might free you to focus on more meaningful interactions in your day.

Conclusion

Anxiety often nudges us into hyper-control mode, driving us to straighten every object, detail every plan, and apologize for what’s entirely out of our hands.

When you notice these behaviors creeping in, take a moment to pause.

Ask yourself: are you doing this out of genuine need, or because anxiety is pushing you?

Awareness is the first step toward change.

Small shifts—like letting a drawer stay messy or allowing a friend to pick the dinner spot—can gradually loosen anxiety’s hold.

I’m still figuring this out too, so take what works and adapt it to your life.

You have the power to steer your life in a direction shaped by intention rather than fear.

So the next time you catch yourself reaching for a label maker or rewriting that same text over and over, give yourself a moment of grace.

And remember, a little bit of chaos might just be what brings you the calm you’re really searching for.