Have you ever found yourself biting your tongue because someone older insists on getting their own way?

It can be a tricky tightrope walk—on one hand, you don’t want to disrespect your elders, but on the other, you might feel that respect has to be earned, no matter a person’s age.

In this post, I want to highlight seven behaviors that many younger people quietly find off-putting when interacting with older folks who come across as “entitled.”

My aim isn’t to heap criticism on the entire boomer generation.

Instead, I want to point out certain attitudes and actions that may unintentionally push younger people away.

Let’s take a look.

1. Believing their experience automatically outranks new ideas

Most of us who’ve been around the block a few times have a story or two to share. Life lessons are valuable.

But there’s a difference between offering wisdom and acting like your insight is always superior.

I’ve known folks who, whenever someone younger proposes a new method or tool, instantly say, “That’ll never work,” or, “Trust me, I’ve done this for decades.”

That statement may be true—they probably have decades of knowledge.

Yet it can come across as dismissive and arrogant.

Younger people want you to consider their fresh insights, especially in a world that’s ever-changing.

If you show a genuine interest in someone else’s approach, rather than shutting it down, you’ll probably gain more respect.

When you find yourself about to say, “Here’s how I’ve always done it,” pause for a moment.

Ask questions, listen to the new idea, and think about whether it might have value.

You might be surprised by the interesting ideas that come your way.

2. Expecting automatic respect based solely on age

There was a time when a gray head of hair and a certain birthdate guaranteed deference.

But younger generations today often feel that respect is earned—not demanded by a number on your driver’s license.

If an older person acts as though their age alone is enough to command others, it can create a silent wedge between them and the younger folks around them.

I’ve seen it happen during family gatherings.

An older relative might say, “You should listen to me because I’m older,” or, “Don’t question me, show some respect.”

The thing is, real respect usually grows from mutual listening and understanding.

If it’s forced, younger people might comply outwardly, but inwardly they lose admiration.

I’m not just making this up—Rcademy clearly spells it out by noting that strong relationships across generations involve communication, empathy, and a willingness to learn from each other.

That means age alone shouldn’t be your only ticket to dignity.

Show younger people you value their perspective, and they’ll show you the same courtesy in return.

3. Turning a blind eye to mental health awareness

If there’s one area where generational gaps can loom large, it’s mental health.

Many older individuals grew up in a time when therapy, anxiety, and depression weren’t openly discussed.

But these days, younger people are far more aware of the importance of mental well-being, whether through counseling, meditation, or simply talking openly about personal struggles.

Some boomers might still think, “We never needed therapy,” or, “Tough it out, that’s life.”

That viewpoint can come off as insensitive, and it doesn’t reflect current understandings of emotional health.

I’ve encountered older friends who, upon hearing about a younger family member in therapy, respond with an eye roll and a dismissive tone.

“I don’t see the point in all that,” they might say, which immediately makes the younger person feel misunderstood.

If this sort of reaction becomes a pattern, it’s no surprise that respect might slip away quietly.

These days, mental health is at the forefront of many discussions, and disregarding its importance can push away the very people older generations hope to guide.

4. Clinging to outdated social norms

Many baby boomers grew up in an era when certain social roles were set in stone.

Men did one thing, women did another, and anyone who fell outside of those lines faced raised eyebrows.

Younger generations, though, have been challenging such norms for a while now, resulting in a broader acceptance of a wide range of identities, lifestyles, and family structures.

I’ve read older psychology books that firmly placed people in specific boxes—men were from Mars, women from Venus, and so on.

But that’s changed a lot.

Unfortunately, I still see older folks rolling their eyes at new pronouns, different family units, or anything else that doesn’t fit the mold of yesteryear.

From the younger perspective, that rigidity is a signal that older folks might not be willing to grow.

Nobody wants to be around someone who can’t even try to accept them for who they are.

Holding fast to outdated social expectations can come across as controlling or judgmental, and that’s often enough to lose the respect of a more open-minded generation.

5. Lecturing instead of engaging in genuine conversation

I suspect we’ve all encountered the “back in my day” speech at least once.

It typically starts harmlessly, sharing how things were done years ago.

But if it keeps going, it can morph into a full-blown lecture about how the younger crowd “doesn’t know how to do things right.”

Sometimes we older folks assume our role is to impart knowledge, but in doing so, we never pause to listen.

I’ve mentioned this in a previous post, but I used to catch myself lecturing my grandkids about how to handle school and relationships.

I’d go on and on without really hearing their experiences. Eventually, I realized they’d started tuning me out.

When I shifted to asking them questions and validating their feelings instead of rattling off my own advice, our conversations improved—and I like to think our mutual respect did, too.

6. Refusing to adapt to technology while criticizing those who do

Technology is evolving at a head-spinning pace.

Younger people often grew up with smartphones, streaming services, and the entire digital universe at their fingertips.

Many older individuals, myself included, remember a time when the family phone was attached to the wall and had a little rotary dial.

Some folks from my generation remain proudly tech-averse, going so far as to mock modern apps or social media as “a waste of time.”

But here’s the thing: younger folks rely on these tools to network, to learn, and to stay in touch with friends and family.

When someone older dismisses technology as silly or trivial—yet complains they never hear from their kids or grandkids—that’s a clear sign of unwillingness to adapt.

It can be seen as a sign of entitlement, a rigid “my way or the highway” mentality.

If that’s you, maybe try dipping a toe into something simple, like sending a text or using a free video call tool.

You might discover a brand-new way to keep close to the people you care about most.

7. Overgeneralizing “kids these days”

You’ve probably heard it: “Kids these days are lazy,” or “They’re always glued to their phones,” or “This generation doesn’t know the value of hard work.”

Overgeneralizations like that drive younger people up the wall. It’s the same as if a younger person said all boomers are out of touch.

Neither statement is true or fair, and it does nothing to foster understanding.

I’m the first to admit I don’t know everything, but one pattern I’ve noticed is that individual experiences vary wildly—no single group is homogenous.

The minute we paint everyone under 40 (or under 30) with a broad brush, we come across as closed-minded.

And that’s precisely how respect erodes: younger people think, “If you can’t even see me as an individual, why should I value your perspective?”

Making an effort to see each person as unique, regardless of generational label, can go a long way. Instead of starting with, “Kids these days,” open with, “I’m curious how you see this…”

Or if you don’t understand a younger person’s actions, invite them to share what’s behind their choices.

Such small shifts in language can do wonders for bridging the generational gap.

Wrapping up: how to build (rather than lose) respect

The good news in all of this is that it’s never too late to turn things around.

If you catch yourself falling into any of these seven habits, you might try taking one small step toward change.

Respect is a two-way street, and younger folks appreciate it when older people show real openness and interest in their experiences.

Here are a few quick ideas for getting started:

• Practice active listening: Ask open-ended questions, then really tune in to the responses.
• Embrace curiosity: If someone younger shares a new technique or viewpoint, challenge yourself to explore it before dismissing it.
• Drop the automatic expectations: Recognize that respect doesn’t just flow one way—it’s a mutual exchange.

Nobody’s perfect, of course.

But if we can all strive to be a little more understanding and a little less dismissive, those quiet moments of lost respect might just become fewer and farther between.

After all, one of the greatest gifts of aging is the chance to keep learning and growing, no matter how many candles end up on the birthday cake.