Have you ever been in the checkout line at the grocery store and witnessed a parent suddenly explode at their child over something trivial—like touching candy bars or fidgeting in place?

I’ve seen it more than once.

And every time, I’m reminded how delicate the parent-child bond can be, especially in public.

I’m no stranger to the pressures of parenting.

I juggle a busy writing career, and I’m also a single mother who got divorced not long after my son was born.

Balancing responsibilities isn’t easy, but I’ve learned that how we discipline our kids—especially in front of others—can shape their sense of security and self-worth for years to come.

Now, I’m not here to judge parents who make mistakes (I’ve made my share of mistakes, so I’m right here with you).

But there’s a difference between an occasional slip and a pattern of emotionally immature discipline.

When parents habitually use immature tactics, kids often end up feeling confused, anxious, or resentful.

With that said, let’s look at six ways emotionally immature people discipline their children in public, according to psychology.

I’ll also share why it happens and what healthier alternatives might look like.

1. Overreacting physically

One of the most jarring ways emotionally immature parents handle discipline is by resorting to physical overreaction, like a harsh yank of the arm or a swat out of anger.

Studies have found that physical punishments—especially those delivered in public—tend to increase aggression and emotional distress in kids.

It’s not just about the physical act.

The real damage is the immediate fear and long-term erosion of trust.

When I see a parent do this, I wonder if they’re aware of the invisible wounds they’re creating.

Children thrive when they feel safe with their caregivers.

Over-the-top physical reactions undermine that safety.

Unfortunately, some parents in these moments are more concerned with asserting control or venting frustration than with teaching lessons.

That leads to resentment on both sides.

Worse, it can escalate into a cycle: the parent repeats the same reaction next time, and the child grows more anxious or defiant.

2. Humiliating the child in front of others

Humiliation could be scolding a child loudly, mocking them, or comparing them to “better behaved” kids while strangers look on.

I recall reading a statement by Dr. Brené Brown about the powerful negative impact shame can have on self-esteem.

She explained that shame, especially when repeatedly inflicted by a caregiver, can lead children to believe there’s something fundamentally flawed about who they are.

When this happens in public, it amplifies the child’s sense of embarrassment.

They’re not just being disciplined; they’re being exposed.

Children who are humiliated often shut down or rebel.

Some become people-pleasers, terrified of stepping out of line.

Others lash out in an attempt to regain power.

Either way, humiliation chips away at a child’s confidence and healthy emotional expression.

They learn that disagreement or mistakes will be met with public shame, which can breed secrecy, dishonesty, or anxiety about taking risks later in life.

3. Using sarcasm or belittling language

Sarcasm might seem like a minor offense compared to physical overreaction, but it’s a tool of emotional immaturity.

Snide remarks, rolling eyes, or belittling questions—“Are you really that clueless?”—can weigh heavily on a child’s self-image.

Research suggests that repeated exposure to belittling language can lead to increased anxiety and self-doubt in young children, potentially hindering social and academic performance down the line.

It might feel like “just words” to the parent, but children internalize these messages quickly.

They interpret them as truths about who they are.

I remember a moment in my own childhood when an adult used the phrase “Stop being dramatic” in a mocking tone.

It stuck with me for years, making me second-guess my feelings whenever I became upset.

As parents, we’re tasked with guiding our children, but sarcasm and belittling undermine that guidance with negativity and confusion.

4. Threatening extreme consequences

“I’ll leave you here if you don’t stop!”

“That’s it—no TV for a month!”

We’ve all heard it, and maybe some of us have said something like it in a moment of exasperation.

But chronic use of extreme threats reveals emotional immaturity.

It’s a fear-based approach, born from desperation to control the child’s immediate behavior without considering the long-term effects.

According to research, excessive or unrealistic threats can contribute to heightened anxiety in children, leading them to associate discipline with fear rather than learning.

Threatening to walk away from your child, especially in public, triggers a fear of abandonment.

That might subdue them temporarily, but it doesn’t teach them to handle conflicts or strong emotions responsibly.

Instead, they learn to panic.

The child quickly realizes there’s no rational discussion, no calm boundary-setting—just a threat of losing safety or love.

That’s not discipline.

That’s emotional manipulation.

5. Stonewalling or public ignoring

Sometimes, emotionally immature parents swing the other way—they give the silent treatment or pretend the child doesn’t exist in public after a conflict.

Stonewalling is a form of emotional avoidance, where the parent withdraws any warmth or acknowledgment.

This approach confuses children because it denies them the opportunity to resolve the issue or learn a better behavior.

I’ve noticed that kids subjected to stonewalling often escalate their behavior, desperately trying to break through that emotional wall.

When their parent refuses to engage, the child might cry louder or act out more dramatically.

Alternatively, they might give up and internalize the hurt, feeling invisible and unheard.

In a single moment, stonewalling can teach a child they won’t get a response unless they push to extremes—or that their feelings just don’t matter.

Neither lesson is healthy.

6. Embarrassing them with a spectacle

I don’t want to skip something crucial: making a spectacle out of discipline.

This can mean berating the child loudly, pulling them aside theatrically, or announcing to the whole room what the child did “wrong” and how they’ll be punished.

The intention might be to show others, “I’m a good parent—I’m dealing with this.”

But the child’s perspective is entirely different.

They’re trapped in a stage show they never asked for.

They stand there, powerless, while an audience of strangers watches them get dressed down.

It’s deeply unsettling.

Children who face these public spectacles often develop a heightened sense of embarrassment, especially in social settings.

They may become overly anxious about making mistakes or expressing themselves.

That can limit their willingness to explore, ask questions, or engage in normal childhood risk-taking.

All because they fear a repeat performance of public discipline.

Sometimes, these spectacles start with small actions:

• A loud remark about how the child “never listens.”
• Dragging the child by the hand to “show them who’s boss.”
• Threatening to involve bystanders or store employees in the punishment.

In many cases, this escalates until the child’s spirit feels overshadowed by the parent’s need for control or validation.

When discipline turns into public theater, kids learn to associate any wrongdoing—or perceived wrongdoing—with maximum shame and exposure.

That’s a recipe for anxiety and resentment.

Conclusion

I know parenting is complicated.

We can’t always keep our cool every single time our kids act out in public.

But psychology consistently tells us that shaming, threatening, humiliating, or otherwise disciplining in an emotionally immature way can backfire.

It often breeds fear, resentment, or withdrawn behavior in children.

And none of those outcomes help them grow into considerate, open-minded individuals.

I’m still figuring this out too, so take what works and adapt it to your life.

Each day, I try to remind my son that respect goes both ways.

If he feels heard and understood, he’s more likely to return that respect when I ask him to follow rules.

Healthy discipline isn’t about appearances or dramatic punishments.

It’s about teaching, guiding, and letting our kids know they’re still loved, even when they make mistakes.

By choosing empathy and consistent boundaries over spectacle or shame, we help our children build real confidence.

And that, in my view, is worth aiming for every single day.