Have you ever walked away from a conversation feeling like you just ran a mental marathon?

It’s one thing when you’re tired after a long day, but it’s another when a single conversation with someone leaves you needing to catch your breath.

Some men, whether by habit or by deeper emotional challenges, can be truly draining to be around.

It’s not always about them being “bad guys”—often, they’re just stuck in patterns that sap the energy out of everyone in their orbit.

Let’s talk about 6 of those patterns—and, more importantly, what psychology has to say about them.

1) They turn every conversation into a one-sided affair

One of the biggest warning signs of an emotionally exhausting man is that every conversation seems to be about him.

You could be sharing something important, and he either hijacks the topic, dismisses your feelings, or constantly brings the spotlight back onto himself.

It’s exhausting because a relationship (romantic or platonic) is supposed to be a two-way street.

When it’s all about his day, his struggles, and his achievements, it feels like you’re just a sounding board.

Some men learned early on that talking incessantly about their own experiences is a way to validate themselves.

Or they were never taught how to reciprocate emotional support.

I recall a friend who could dominate a conversation for an entire dinner. The moment I tried to share something, he’d cut me off with a tangent that steered things right back to him.

By the end, I felt like I’d sat through a performance rather than a genuine exchange.

Sound familiar?

If so, you’re likely dealing with someone who lacks the basic empathy needed for balanced, healthy conversations.

2) They thrive on negativity and complaining

We all complain sometimes. Life throws curveballs, and venting can be therapeutic.

But some men seem to have a PhD in pessimism—they complain about the weather, their job, their relationships, the service at restaurants… the list goes on.

It’s draining not because they have problems (we all do), but because the negativity is relentless, with no desire to find a solution.

In psychology, this constant complaining can be a sign of what’s called a “negative cognitive bias,” where the brain becomes wired to notice, focus on, and ruminate over the bad in every scenario.

Negativity can become a habit, and over time, it’s the only lens they know.

If you ever try to suggest solutions, you may be met with “That’ll never work” or “You don’t get it.”

So not only do they get stuck in a loop of complaint, but they also reject any opportunity to escape it.

3) They never take responsibility

Have you ever known someone who always seems to be at the mercy of circumstances beyond their control?

Whether it’s a relationship gone bad or a job that didn’t pan out, it’s never their fault.

The boss was “unfair,” the ex-girlfriend was “crazy,” or the system was “rigged against them.”

This victim mentality is a textbook sign of emotional exhaustion in the making.

When someone refuses to take responsibility, they remain stuck in a cycle of blame and helplessness.

It can be tough to watch because you might genuinely want to help, but every suggestion meets a wall of excuses or deflection.

From a psychological standpoint, always blaming external factors can be a defense mechanism to protect the ego.

Admitting fault or shortcomings can sting, but refusing to do so keeps them (and the people around them) in a never-ending loop of frustration.

If you spend time with a man who can’t accept his part in problems, you’ll quickly find that you’re putting in all the emotional labor to soothe, advise, or even just endure the endless stream of “It’s not me, it’s them.”

4) They fish for validation nonstop

Some men have an insatiable need for validation—whether it’s through social media likes, constant reassurance from partners, or even casual friends who always have to tell them they’re doing great.

A little bit of encouragement is normal and healthy, but there’s a point where it becomes emotionally draining.

I used to be skeptical about self-development courses until I took Ruda Iande’s “Love and Intimacy” masterclass.

One of the exercises made me realize how some individuals, including myself at one point, chase external validation as a way to fill internal voids.

If you never learn to validate yourself, you’ll rely on everyone else to do it for you—and that’s an endless well.

But for many men, they don’t see it as a self-esteem issue.

They just keep searching for that pat on the back or the “You’re such a great guy” comment. When they don’t get it, they can spiral into self-pity or lash out.

5) They bottle things up, then explode

Emotional exhaustion can also come from men who swear they’re “fine” until they’re not.

They rarely talk about their feelings or frustrations in a healthy way; instead, they bury them—sometimes for weeks or months—before everything erupts in a big meltdown.

Why is this exhausting?

Because it creates an emotionally volatile environment.

You’re never quite sure when that timer is going to go off. One moment he’s calm, the next he’s lashing out over something relatively minor.

Psychologists often link suppressed emotion to higher stress levels and sudden outbursts.

That classic “strong silent type” image sometimes encourages men to see vulnerability as weakness.

But ironically, refusing to communicate leads to bigger blowups that leave everyone drained.

I remember a roommate who never admitted he was upset about anything.

Then one day, out of nowhere, we had an hour-long shouting match because I moved his laundry from the washer to the dryer.

It was about more than the laundry—clearly, something had been simmering for weeks, if not months.

6) They manipulate you into feeling sorry for them

Some men deploy a tactic that’s a subtle combination of self-pity and passive aggression: guilt-tripping.

Rather than directly asking for help or stating their needs, they’ll sigh dramatically, drop hints about how “nobody cares,” or talk about their woes until you feel obligated to comfort or assist them.

It’s a manipulative approach to emotional support.

Instead of being forthright, they reel you in with guilt, making you feel responsible for their emotional well-being.

Over time, you might start anticipating their every emotional whim, just to avoid the melodrama that erupts when they feel “ignored.”

Guilt-tripping often emerges from a learned belief that direct communication won’t get the desired response.

So they resort to emotional manipulation to get their needs met.

One friend of mine had a boyfriend who was a master of this.

Whenever he sensed her pulling away—maybe just needing a little space—he’d dramatically say things like, “I guess I’m just not worth your time,” until she would rearrange her entire schedule for him.

It took her a while to recognize the toll it was taking on her mental health.

Rounding things off

At the end of the day, we all have moments where we’re less than pleasant to be around.

But some men repeatedly engage in patterns that leave others feeling worn out and burdened.

Here at GE Editing, I’m often reminded how personal growth begins with awareness.

When you spot these behaviors—either in yourself or in someone you care about—it might be a good time to reflect and see if there’s a deeper issue at play.

The good news is that any of these patterns can be unlearned.

Psychological research emphasizes that taking ownership of your behavior is the first step toward healthier emotional expression.

Whether it’s therapy, mindfulness practices, or even a free online course that nudges you in the right direction, help is out there.