If a boomer still demands control, they’re probably stuck in these 7 outdated mindsets

Farley Ledgerwood by Farley Ledgerwood | October 10, 2025, 8:34 am

My dad, a proud baby boomer, has this age-old saying he loves to repeat, “If I’m not in control, things will go haywire.”

You know what I mean, right?

That classic boomer mindset that values control above all else.

But here’s the deal.

If you’re a boomer and still clinging to control, you might be stuck in some outdated mindsets. Yes, the world has evolved, and so have the norms of control and leadership.

So, for those of you wondering “What are these outdated mindsets that I might be stuck in?” – I’ve got you covered.

We’ll be exploring seven such mindsets that could be holding you back from adapting to the new-age dynamics.

Here’s a heads-up.

This isn’t about slamming our boomer friends.

Instead, it’s about understanding the perspectives that might need a little updating and how this can lead to better communication across generations.

And who knows? You might even find yourself relating to some of these points, no matter what generation you belong to. So let’s dive in, shall we?

1) The “My way or the highway” mentality

Let’s start with a classic, shall we?

“My way or the highway” – I’m sure we’ve all heard this phrase at some point.

The thing is, this mindset is a relic of a bygone era.

In the past, leadership was about enforcing authority and maintaining uniformity. But times have changed.

We’re now in an era where collaboration, diversity of thought, and inclusivity are valued more than ever.

If you’re still holding on to this mentality, it might be time to loosen up a bit.

Give others the space to express their ideas. Remember, differing opinions can often lead to innovative solutions.

Control doesn’t have to mean stifling others; it can also mean guiding and helping them flourish.

In essence, less “my way” and more “our way” could be the key to modern leadership. And who knows? This shift might even help you connect better with those pesky millennials and Gen Z folks!

2) Fear of technology

Now, let’s talk tech.

I recall a time when I tried to introduce my dad to online banking. Let’s just say it was an uphill battle.

His apprehension towards technology was palpable. He preferred his old-fashioned checkbook and paper bank statements over the digital world.

But here’s what I realized:

His resistance wasn’t about the technology itself. It was about losing control. He felt that by embracing technology, he’d be surrendering his control over his finances.

But here’s the hard truth:

Resistance to technology is an outdated mindset that can limit progress, both personally and professionally.

In this tech-driven world, being tech-savvy isn’t just a ‘nice-to-have’ anymore; it’s a ‘must-have’.

Technology is a tool that can actually enhance our control over various aspects of life if we choose to embrace it.

So, whether it’s online banking or a new project management tool at work, don’t shy away from it. Take control by learning and adapting. Trust me, it can make your life a whole lot easier!

3) The refusal to admit mistakes

Here’s a bitter pill to swallow:

Nobody is perfect. Not even us boomers.

You see, growing up, we were often taught that leaders are infallible. They don’t make mistakes. And if they do, admitting them is a sign of weakness.

But that’s far from the truth.

In fact, the most effective leaders are those who aren’t afraid to acknowledge their mistakes and learn from them.

For instance, I’ve made my fair share of blunders in life. And you know what? That’s okay. Each mistake was an opportunity for me to learn and grow.

If you’re a boomer still holding on to the belief that admitting mistakes equals losing control, it’s time for a shift in perspective.

Remember, acknowledging a mistake isn’t about losing control; rather, it’s about taking control of your growth and learning process.

So next time you mess up, don’t try to brush it under the rug. Own it, learn from it, and move forward. It might just make you a better leader… and a better friend too!

4) Resistance to change

Change is often met with resistance, isn’t it?

Especially when you’ve been doing things a certain way for decades. But here’s the hard truth – resisting change is a surefire way to stagnation.

Let’s take a simple example.

I’ve always been a huge fan of printed books. The smell of the pages, the feel of the cover – it’s all part of the reading experience for me. So when e-books started becoming popular, I was skeptical.

But then one day, I found myself in a situation where I didn’t have my book with me, and all I had was my phone. So, I decided to give e-books a shot.

And you know what? It wasn’t half bad. In fact, it turned out to be incredibly convenient. I could carry an entire library in my pocket!

The point here is, change can be uncomfortable, but it’s also necessary for growth and progress.

If you’re still resisting change and clinging to the way things were, it might be time to break free from that mindset.

Remember, embracing change isn’t about losing control; it’s about adapting and evolving.

So next time you’re faced with change, don’t resist it – embrace it! You might just find that it opens up new possibilities and opportunities for you.

5) The belief that experience trumps all

Did you know that the human brain continues to develop and evolve throughout our lives?

That’s right. We never stop learning.

But here’s something I’ve noticed. Many boomers tend to fall into the trap of believing that their wealth of experience is all they need.

Don’t get me wrong, experience is valuable. It’s a treasure trove of wisdom, lessons, and insights. But it shouldn’t be the be-all and end-all.

In this rapidly changing world, it’s vital to stay open to new learning opportunities.

Whether it’s a new skill, a different perspective, or an unfamiliar concept, there’s always something to learn from others, regardless of their age or experience level.

So, if you’re a boomer who believes that your years of experience give you ultimate control, it might be time for a reality check.

Remember, control isn’t just about relying on what you already know; it’s also about continuously learning and growing.

So stay curious, keep learning, and remain open to the wisdom that others have to offer!

6) The “I don’t need help” mindset

It’s easy to get caught up in the belief that asking for help is a sign of weakness, isn’t it?

We boomers pride ourselves on our independence. We’ve always been the ones in control, the ones others rely on. So the thought of needing help can be a tough pill to swallow.

But let’s take a moment to reframe that perspective.

Asking for help isn’t about surrendering control. It’s about recognizing that we’re all human, and sometimes, we could use a helping hand.

For instance, when I struggled to set up my new smartphone (those things are complicated!), my granddaughter stepped in to help. And you know what?

It didn’t make me less independent or in control. It simply meant that I was open to assistance when I needed it.

So if you’re a boomer who feels uncomfortable asking for help, remember this – it doesn’t make you weak or helpless. It makes you human, and that’s perfectly okay!

After all, we’re all in this together, navigating through life’s ups and downs. And sometimes, a little help can go a long way!

7) The need to always be right

Here’s the most important thing you should know:

Being right all the time isn’t a sign of control; it’s a sign of rigidity.

In the quest to always be right, we often close ourselves off to the possibility that we might be wrong. And that’s a dangerous mindset to have.

In reality, nobody’s right all the time. We all have our moments of error, and that’s okay. What matters is our willingness to acknowledge our mistakes and learn from them.

So if you’re a boomer who always needs to be right, take a step back. Open your mind to the possibility of being wrong sometimes.

Remember, control doesn’t come from asserting your rightness; it comes from knowing when to admit your wrongness.

It’s not about winning arguments or debates; it’s about growing and evolving as an individual.

So let go of the need to always be right. You might just find that it opens up a world of growth and learning opportunities for you!

The final take

If you’ve found yourself nodding along to these mindsets, take heart – awareness is the first step towards change.

Shifting these outdated mindsets doesn’t mean you’re losing control.

It’s about embracing a more evolved way of exercising control – one that values inclusivity, learning, and openness.

Start by recognizing when these mindsets show up in your life. Reflect on situations where you’ve resisted change or clung to old habits.

Pay attention to those moments when you felt the need to be right, or struggled to admit mistakes.

Once you’ve spotted these patterns, challenge them. Ask yourself – is this mindset serving me, or holding me back?

This won’t be an overnight transformation.

But with patience and persistence, you can unlearn these outdated approaches to control and embrace new ones that better fit our evolving world.

Remember, it’s not just about adapting to the new norms; it’s about growing and becoming a better version of yourself.

So take this journey one step at a time. Be gentle with yourself as you navigate this process, and celebrate your progress along the way.

In the end, it’s not just about gaining friends or influencing people. It’s about living authentically, embracing change, and continuously learning – no matter what generation you belong to.