7 subtle habits that reveal someone has survived a lot in silence, according to psychology

Farley Ledgerwood by Farley Ledgerwood | October 13, 2025, 11:04 am

Have you ever come across someone who seems to have an extraordinary ability to shoulder life’s toughest burdens, all without uttering a word of complaint? Someone who, despite all odds, exudes an aura of calm and resilience?

Here’s the catch.

Often, these individuals have survived a great deal in silence. Their strength and endurance are not just innate character traits but the result of a series of subtle habits they’ve developed over time. And interestingly enough, psychology has a lot to say about this.

So, if you’re ever curious about “What are the subtle signs that someone has faced a lot in silence?” the following seven habits, backed by psychology, might just provide the answers you’re looking for.

Remember, understanding these habits isn’t just about satisfying your curiosity. It’s also about fostering empathy and compassion towards the unsung heroes around us who silently battle their own storms.

Now, let’s delve into these seven habits that silently scream resilience and strength.

1) They have a deep sense of empathy

You know what they say, “walk a mile in someone else’s shoes and you’ll understand their journey better.”

Well, individuals who have experienced a lot of hardship in silence often develop an uncanny ability to empathize with others. It’s as if their personal struggles have opened up a reservoir of understanding and compassion within them.

Painful experiences can heighten our sensitivity towards others’ suffering. It’s like we develop a new lens to view the world, one that is more attuned to the struggles of those around us.

So, next time you encounter someone who seems extraordinarily empathetic, consider they might be carrying their own silent battles. And maybe, just maybe, your understanding can make their journey a little bit lighter.

2) They value alone time

Have you ever noticed that some people seem to cherish their solitary moments more than others?

I have a friend, let’s call her Jane. Jane is one of those individuals who has walked through fire and come out stronger. Yet, she rarely talks about her struggles.

One thing I’ve noticed with Jane is her love for solitude. She often prefers reading a book in a quiet corner over a bustling party or takes long, contemplative walks on her own.

Jane once told me, “I find a certain comfort in solitude. It’s my time to process, heal and grow.”

Quiet moments can provide a safe space for those who have endured much in silence. It offers them time for introspection, to process their experiences, and find inner peace.

3) They display an unusual resilience

Life is a rollercoaster of ups and downs, isn’t it? But have you ever met someone who seems to ride these waves with an almost supernatural composure?

Let me share a story about James, another friend of mine. James has seen more than his fair share of storms. From losing his job to facing serious health issues, he’s been through it all.

But the striking thing about James is his resilience. He’s like a bamboo tree, bending under the weight of the storm but never breaking.

I’ve asked him how he does it, how he remains so composed when life throws curveballs at him. His answer was simple, “I’ve learned to dance in the rain rather than wait for the storm to pass.”

And that’s what psychology tells us about those who have weathered many a storm in silence. They develop an extraordinary resilience, learning to adapt and grow from their experiences rather than being crushed by them.

They are the silent warriors, dancing in the rain, taming the storm within with their resilience and strength.

4) They are exceptionally patient

Patience is often said to be a virtue, and it’s one that those who have survived a lot in silence seem to possess in abundance.

Ever noticed how some individuals appear to remain calm and composed even in the face of frustrating circumstances? How they patiently wait for things to unfold instead of rushing towards hasty decisions?

This is another subtle habit that psychology links to individuals who’ve experienced significant challenges silently. The storms they’ve weathered have taught them the value of patience, of allowing life to unfold at its own pace.

So, the next time you come across someone who showcases remarkable patience, especially in trying times, it might be a sign that they’ve learned this through enduring their own silent battles.

5) They find meaning in small things

There’s a beautiful Japanese philosophy known as ‘Ikigai’, which is all about finding joy and purpose in the simple, everyday things in life.

Interestingly, this concept resonates deeply with those who’ve endured a lot in silence. They have a knack for finding beauty and meaning in the smallest of things – a blooming flower, a child’s laughter, or even a cup of warm coffee on a cold day.

This isn’t just anecdotal. A study published in the Journal of Positive Psychology found that individuals who have experienced significant adversity often show a higher capacity for savoring life’s little joys.

So, if you know someone who seems to appreciate the smaller things in life more deeply, it could be that they’ve learned to find happiness amidst their silent struggles.

6) They are generous listeners

Isn’t it wonderful to have someone who truly listens when you speak, who offers their undivided attention, and never rushes you to finish your thoughts?

I’ve noticed that those who have faced a lot in silence often become such listeners. They lend an empathetic ear, understanding that sometimes, we all just need to be heard.

Their silent battles have taught them the importance of being seen and understood, and they extend this kindness to others. They listen, not to respond, but to understand and connect on a deeper level.

Now, if you come across someone who’s an exceptionally good listener, cherish them. Their silent struggles have probably shaped them into the understanding confidants they are today.

7) They cultivate a strong sense of self

Perhaps the most striking habit of those who have weathered life’s storms in silence is their strong sense of self. They know who they are, what they value, and where they stand.

This isn’t an ego-driven self-assuredness. It’s a deep understanding and acceptance of their own strengths, weaknesses, and unique journey.

Their silent struggles have been a crucible, refining and defining their identities. They’ve learned to love and accept themselves, scars and all.

So when you see someone with a strong sense of self, it might just be a hint of the silent battles they’ve fought and the resilience they’ve cultivated along the way.

Reflections and resilience

As we journey through this narrative, you may have recognized some of these habits in yourself or others around you.

Understanding these signs isn’t just about identifying who has silently endured hardships; it’s about acknowledging the strength, resilience, and beauty that can be born from adversity.

If you see these signs in yourself, take a moment to appreciate your resilience. The silent battles you’ve fought have shaped you into a stronger, more empathetic individual with a deep understanding of life’s complexities.

And if you recognize these signs in others, approach them with kindness and understanding. Perhaps your empathy could lighten their load, even just a little bit.

Everyone is fighting their own battles, many of which are invisible to us. Let’s strive to create an environment of compassion and understanding where people feel safe to share their stories rather than carry them in silence.

And finally, remember that our struggles do not define us. It’s how we respond to them, the strength we find amidst the chaos, and the resilience we build that truly shapes our character.

Let’s celebrate resilience. Let’s honor those silent warriors among us. And let’s continue to learn from each other’s experiences as we navigate this complex journey called life.