Sometimes, the habits we form as children due to parental influence aren’t always beneficial for us in the long run.

Especially if the parent, say your mother, had a toxic influence.

These habits, developed as coping mechanisms, often end up hindering our growth and success.

We might not even realize the damage they’re causing, or that they’re related to our past.

In this article, I’m going to share with you 7 of these habits that you might have developed because of a toxic mother – habits that might be holding you back right now.

Remember, identifying the problem is the first step towards resolving it. Let’s start with habit number one…

1) Constant self-doubt

Let’s talk about self-doubt, a trait many of us struggle with.

Growing up with a toxic mother often means growing up with constant criticism.

You’re always being told you’re not good enough, smart enough, or simply enough.

And guess what? That voice doesn’t disappear when you become an adult.

It becomes a part of you, lingering in your mind, casting a shadow over your accomplishments.

This habit of constantly doubting yourself can hold you back in many ways.

It can prevent you from taking risks, pursuing opportunities, or even feeling content with your achievements.

Recognizing this habit is the first step towards breaking the cycle. You are enough, and it’s time to start believing in yourself.

2) Struggling to set boundaries

I get it, setting boundaries is tough. But trust me, it’s even harder when you’ve grown up with a toxic mother.

Take my case for instance. My mother often disregarded my emotions and personal space.

As a result, I found it difficult to define my limits and ensure that they were respected by others.

This habit followed me into adulthood, making me susceptible to people who took more than they gave.

It affected my relationships, my work, and even my mental health.

Only when I recognized this pattern could I start the process of learning to establish and enforce healthy boundaries.

It’s not easy, but it’s essential for emotional well-being and personal growth.

3) Difficulty expressing emotions

Having a toxic mother often means growing up in an environment where expressing emotions is discouraged, or even punished.

This can lead to a habit of suppressing feelings, something that neuroscientists suggest might lead to increased stress and anxiety.

In fact, individuals who suppress their emotions are more likely to experience mental and physical health problems than those who express their feelings openly.

Overcoming this habit begins with the understanding that it’s okay, and necessary, to express your emotions.

It might take time, but learning to be open about how you feel is essential for your overall well-being.

4) Over-compensating to please others

Another habit that can develop from having a toxic mother is the tendency to over-compensate in an attempt to please others.

This usually stems from a childhood spent trying to earn love and approval through actions and achievements.

The problem with this habit is that it can lead to a life lived for others, rather than for oneself.

It can make you lose sight of your own needs and desires, as you’re constantly focused on meeting the expectations of others.

It’s important to understand that you don’t need to earn love or acceptance. You deserve these things simply for being you.

Breaking free from this habit involves learning to prioritize your own needs and desires, and understanding that it’s okay to say ‘no’.

5) Fear of confrontation

For a long time, I found myself avoiding confrontations at all costs.

This was a habit I picked up from my childhood, where confrontations with my mother often led to more harm than good.

The fear of confrontation can hold you back in many ways.

It can prevent you from standing up for yourself, voicing your opinions, or resolving conflicts in a healthy way.

It wasn’t until I realized that not all confrontations have to be negative or harmful, that I could start working on this fear.

Confrontations can be constructive and healing, and learning to navigate them is a crucial part of personal growth.

6) Negative self-perception

Growing up with a toxic mother can often lead to a negative self-perception.

This is because the negative comments and criticisms from your mother can become ingrained in your mind, shaping how you view yourself.

This habit can hold you back in many ways. It can affect your confidence, your relationships, and even your ability to pursue your goals.

Changing this habit involves challenging these negative perceptions and replacing them with positive affirmations.

It might be a difficult journey, but it’s absolutely essential for your personal growth and happiness.

7) Difficulty forming healthy relationships

One of the most significant impacts of having a toxic mother is the struggle to form healthy relationships.

The dysfunctional relationship with your mother can become a blueprint for future relationships, leading to repeating patterns of toxicity.

The key to breaking this habit is recognizing the patterns and understanding that they’re not inevitable.

You have the power to form healthy, fulfilling relationships based on respect, understanding, and love.

Final reflection: The power of self-awareness

The beauty of human behavior is its potential for change.

Understanding that our upbringings, especially the toxic influences, have shaped some of our habitual behaviors, is a powerful step towards growth and transformation.

Psychotherapist Virginia Satir once said, “We must not allow other people’s limited perceptions to define us.”

This applies even if that person is your mother.

These habits that we’ve discussed, they might be holding you back now, but that doesn’t mean they always will.

With awareness, understanding, and patience, you have the power to rewrite your story.

You’re not defined by your past, but by the choices you make today.

Take a moment to reflect on these habits. How have they influenced your life? And more importantly, how can you start to change them?

You have the power within you to break free from these patterns and build a life that aligns with who you truly are.

And that’s a journey worth embarking on.