7 habits of couples who can’t sleep next to each other but still maintain a strong bond

Tina Fey by Tina Fey | January 13, 2025, 9:23 pm

Sleeping comfortably next to a partner is not a luxury everyone can afford. I’m talking tossing, turning, snoring – the works. But does that mean you can’t have a strong bond with your significant other? Absolutely not.

This is about those couples who, for one reason or another, just can’t share a bed. And yet, they’ve found ways to maintain an unbreakable bond.

In this article, I’ll walk you through the 7 habits these couples have cultivated to keep their bond strong despite the distance between their pillows.

It’s all about connection beyond the sheets. And trust me, you’ll see that it’s not only possible but also surprisingly rewarding. So let’s dive in!

1) Communication is key

Yes, you’ve heard it a million times. But that’s because it’s true. When you can’t share a bed with your partner, communication becomes even more crucial.

It’s about reaching out during the day, about those bedtime calls, the goodnight texts. It’s about saying ‘I miss you’ and ‘I love you’ more often to make up for the physical distance during the nights.

You see, when you’re not sharing a bed, there are no non-verbal cues to rely on. No ‘accidental’ touches or sleepy cuddles to convey your love and care. So, you need to express it in words and actions.

And remember, it’s not just about the quantity of communication but also the quality. Honest, open conversations can bridge any physical gap – even one as big as a separate bed.

This might seem tough at first but as you adjust, it becomes a part of your daily routine – strengthening your bond in the process.

2) Embrace the distance

This might sound counterintuitive, but sometimes, distance can actually bring you closer.

Without the pressure of sharing a bed, you can actually get a good night’s sleep. And we all know how crucial sleep is for our mood and overall well-being.

When you’re well-rested, you’re more likely to be patient, understanding, and open-minded – all key ingredients for a strong relationship.

What’s more, the absence, as they say, makes the heart grow fonder. The distance can actually make you appreciate your partner more, longing for their presence and cherishing the moments you do get to spend together.

So instead of seeing the separate beds as a challenge, see it as an opportunity – to love and appreciate each other more.

Yes, it’s counterintuitive. But then again, the best things in life often are, aren’t they?

3) Cultivate individual interests

As much as a couple is about ‘we’, it’s equally about ‘I’. Having separate interests and hobbies can foster a sense of individuality that’s crucial for a healthy relationship.

When you’re not sharing a bed, you have an opportunity to cultivate these interests. Maybe it’s diving into that book that’s been on your shelf for ages or maybe it’s taking up that online course you’ve been eyeing.

In fact, in my own book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I talk about the importance of maintaining your own identity in a relationship. This ‘me time’ can be therapeutic and empowering.

Remember, a strong bond between two people is not just about how much they love each other, but also about how much they love themselves as individuals.

Go ahead, embrace your individuality. It might just make your bond stronger than ever.

4) Make time for intimacy

Just because you’re not sharing a bed doesn’t mean you can’t have intimate moments. And I’m not just talking about physical intimacy. Emotional intimacy is equally, if not more, important in a relationship.

Plan special date nights, share your dreams and fears, hold hands while you’re watching your favorite movie. These little things can create a deep emotional connection that lasts way beyond the night.

As Oprah Winfrey once said, “Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.”

It’s about being there for each other, in good times and bad.

In my own relationship, we’ve found that these moments of intimacy, however small they might seem, have a big impact. They remind us that we’re in this together – no matter what.

So go ahead, make time for intimacy. It’s those little things that make a big difference.

5) Respect each other’s need for space

While it may seem like a no-brainer, respecting each other’s space is key to maintaining a strong bond. This is especially true when you’re not sharing a bed.

You see, everyone has different sleep habits and preferences. Maybe your partner likes to read before they sleep while you like to meditate. Maybe you’re a light sleeper while your partner snores like a freight train.

The point is, it’s okay to have different sleep needs and it’s important to respect them.

In my own relationship, I’ve found that giving each other the space we need has actually brought us closer. It shows that we care about each other’s comfort and well-being.

Remember, love is not just about being together all the time. It’s also about respecting each other’s need for space.

6) Keep the romance alive

Just because you’re sleeping in separate beds doesn’t mean the spark has to go out. On the contrary, it can give you a chance to keep the romance alive in unexpected ways.

Leave love notes for each other, send flirty texts throughout the day, surprise your partner with their favorite meal or gift. These gestures, as small as they may seem, can make a big difference.

As the great Maya Angelou once said, “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

In my own relationship, these surprise gestures have brought so much joy and laughter. They remind us that love is not just about big declarations, but about small, everyday acts of kindness.

And if you’re looking for more relationship tips and advice, feel free to follow me on Facebook. I often share insights and articles that might help you navigate your own love journey.

7) Accept the challenges

Now, let’s get real. This arrangement can be tough. There will be nights when you miss your partner’s presence beside you, mornings when you wish you could wake up next to them. And that’s okay.

Accepting these challenges doesn’t make your relationship any less strong. On the contrary, it shows that you’re willing to weather any storm for the sake of your bond.

No relationship is perfect. We all have our own set of challenges and battles to fight. But it’s how we face these challenges that defines our bond.

Embrace the challenges, allow yourself to feel the emotions. It’s a part of the journey and, believe me, it only makes your relationship stronger.

Final thoughts

When it comes to love and relationships, there’s no one-size-fits-all. What works for one couple might not work for another. And that’s okay.

The key is to find what works for you and your partner – even if it means sleeping in separate beds.

In my experience, these seven habits can help couples maintain a strong bond despite not sharing a bed. They’re not rules, but rather suggestions that may help you navigate your own unique situation.

And remember, every relationship has its own set of challenges. It’s how we face these challenges that defines our bond.

For more insights into relationships and personal growth, I recommend this video by Justin Brown. It explores the complexities of finding a life partner and shares valuable lessons on shared values and mutual support in a relationship.

YouTube video

It’s these insights that have helped me navigate my own relationship journey. And I’m sure they can help you too.

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