Low self-esteem is often a silent affliction. It lurks in the corners of our actions, embedded in our words and gestures, subtly announcing itself to those around us.

Yet, we ourselves may remain oblivious to these subtle signs that we’re wrestling with a diminished sense of self-worth.

Understanding these signals is crucial not just for our self-awareness but also for initiating the journey towards greater self-esteem. They serve as markers guiding us towards the path of personal growth and empowerment.

Here are seven subtle signs that indicate you may be grappling with low self-esteem.

1) Constantly seeking validation

Low self-esteem often disguises itself as a ceaseless quest for validation from others. When we’re unsure of our worth, we lean heavily on external affirmations to fill the void.

You may find yourself constantly seeking approval, fishing for compliments, or needing reassurances about your work or appearance. This could take the form of frequently asking others if you’re doing a good job, if they’re happy with your efforts or if you look okay.

This dependency on external validation to feel good about ourselves is a clear indicator of low self-esteem. It reflects an inability to internally validate our worth and accomplishments.

Remember, it’s healthy and normal to seek feedback from others now and then. However, when it becomes a compulsive need, it’s a sign that something deeper is at play.

Acknowledging this pattern can be a crucial first step towards building self-reliance and cultivating a stronger sense of self-worth. Through this recognition, we open the door to personal growth and the opportunity to develop a more authentic relationship with ourselves.

2) Over-apologizing

Have you ever found yourself uttering ‘sorry’ more often than necessary, even when it’s not your fault? This is another subtle sign of low self-esteem.

When we’re plagued by self-doubt, we tend to assume blame more readily. We apologize for things beyond our control, for our existence, for taking up space.

I’ve noticed this behavior in myself at times, and it’s a wake-up call to check in with my own self-worth. It’s a reminder to stop and ask: “Am I apologizing because I made a mistake or because I am feeling less worthy?”

This excessive apologizing stems from a fear of displeasing others or being a burden. It’s an attempt to placate and avoid conflict at the cost of our own self-esteem.

As Brené Brown, a research professor who has extensively studied courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy, wisely said: “Belonging starts with self-acceptance. Your level of belonging, in fact, can never be greater than your level of self-acceptance.”

Recognizing this tendency to over-apologize can be the start of a journey towards self-acceptance and improved self-esteem.

3) Avoiding eye contact

Avoiding eye contact is another subtle sign of low self-esteem. When we feel less worthy, we may find it challenging to hold someone’s gaze, fearing judgment or criticism.

This avoidance can be a subconscious attempt to hide, a way of preserving our fragile self-image and avoiding potential rejection.

In my video on the imposter syndrome, I discuss how feelings of unworthiness can manifest in various ways, including avoiding eye contact. The transformation comes when we recognize these patterns and choose to face them head on.

As we grow in self-awareness and self-acceptance, we become more comfortable with the vulnerability that comes with making eye contact. It’s a small shift that can significantly impact our sense of self-worth and the quality of our interactions with others.

4) Fear of expressing opinions

When we lack self-esteem, we often fear expressing our thoughts and opinions. We worry that our perspectives might be judged, rejected, or ridiculed. This fear can lead us to silence ourselves, to hide our true thoughts and feelings behind a mask of agreeability.

This pattern is not just a sign of low self-esteem, but it also undermines one of my core beliefs – the fundamental dignity and worth of every individual. It’s a denial of our inherent right to have a voice, to contribute our unique insights and ideas to the conversation.

Being honest about this fear is the first step towards reclaiming our voice. It’s about acknowledging that our opinions matter, that they’re valuable, even if they’re different or unpopular.

As we learn to express ourselves more freely and confidently, we not only boost our self-esteem but also contribute to a more diverse and inclusive dialogue. This is how we truly honor our individuality and participate meaningfully in our communities.

5) Neglecting self-care

When struggling with low self-esteem, we may start neglecting our own needs and self-care. We might fall into the trap of thinking we’re not worth the time or effort, or that other things – or people – are more important.

This neglect can show up in various ways, from poor nutrition and lack of exercise to ignoring our emotional well-being or not taking time for activities we enjoy.

This behavior is directly opposed to one of my core beliefs – the transformative power of self-awareness and personal growth. By neglecting our physical and emotional needs, we hinder our potential for growth and resilience.

In my video where I discuss “the illusion of happiness”, I emphasize that true contentment comes from within by embracing life’s challenges, fostering meaningful relationships, and staying true to oneself. Neglecting self-care can be a significant roadblock on this path.

Recognizing this neglect is a call to action – a reminder to prioritize self-care and cultivate habits that nurture our physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being. As we start taking better care of ourselves, we’re likely to see a boost in our self-esteem and overall quality of life.

6) Overcompensating through achievements

Surprisingly, an obsessive focus on achievements can be a sign of low self-esteem. When we feel insecure about our worth, we may try to prove ourselves through external accomplishments.

We might chase after titles, awards, or accolades, thinking that these will validate us. We might work excessively, always striving to do more, be more, achieve more.

But this approach is misaligned with one of my fundamental beliefs – prosperity isn’t just about accumulating wealth or status. It’s about aligning our financial decisions with our deepest values and using money as a tool for positive change.

When our self-esteem hinges on external achievements, we risk losing sight of what truly matters. We neglect our relationships, our health, and our personal growth in the pursuit of societal markers of success.

Recognizing this tendency provides an opportunity to reevaluate our priorities. It’s about shifting our focus from external validation to internal fulfillment, from achieving to becoming. That’s the path to genuine self-esteem and a life of purpose and authenticity.

7) Regularly downplaying accomplishments

While it’s important to be humble, regularly downplaying your accomplishments can be a sign of low self-esteem. You may find it difficult to accept praise or recognition, dismissing your achievements as ‘nothing special’ or attributing them solely to luck.

This minimization is not about modesty but about a deep-seated belief that you’re not deserving of praise or success. This can be an unhealthy pattern, undermining your confidence and preventing you from fully recognizing your capabilities.

Connecting this to my core beliefs, we find that true empowerment comes from taking full responsibility for our lives, including acknowledging and celebrating our achievements.

By confronting this tendency to downplay our successes, we can start to shift our self-perception. Recognizing and celebrating what we’ve accomplished is an act of self-affirmation, a way of reinforcing our self-worth and boosting our self-esteem.

It’s about giving ourselves the credit we deserve and embracing ourselves as capable and deserving individuals. When we do this, we not only improve our self-esteem but also empower ourselves to reach even greater heights.

Building Self-Esteem: A Journey, Not a Destination

Looking beyond the individual signs, it’s crucial to remember that self-esteem is not a static trait but a dynamic aspect of our personalities. It can fluctuate, evolve, and grow over time.

Understanding these subtle signs of low self-esteem is the first step in a transformative journey towards self-acceptance and self-love. It’s about recognizing our worth and embracing our unique strengths and abilities.

This journey isn’t always linear or easy. It can be filled with setbacks and challenges. But each obstacle presents an opportunity for growth and learning, a chance to further tap into our creative potential.

Whether we’re seeking validation, over-apologizing, or downplaying our accomplishments, these behaviors are not indications of our worth but signs that we’re on a path of self-discovery.

Remember, as we cultivate self-awareness and take responsibility for our lives, we set the stage for personal freedom and resilience. We learn to align our actions with our deepest values, striving for authentic relationships and shared experiences.

In this way, recognizing our low self-esteem becomes not a source of shame but a catalyst for change. It’s the start of a journey towards a more authentic and fulfilling life.

As we navigate this path, we are not alone. We are part of a community, each of us learning, growing, and striving to become the best versions of ourselves. Together, we are creating a world where authenticity, compassion, and collaboration are the guiding principles—a world where every individual has the opportunity to thrive.