I’ve struggled with sleep for years. I’ve tried the herbal teas, meditation apps, blackout curtains, and yes, relentlessly chasing that elusive 8-hour ideal. But here’s the catch: every time I read another headline about the critical importance of getting perfect, uninterrupted sleep, my anxiety about sleeping badly just gets worse.

Instead of feeling encouraged, I lie awake at night worrying about the supposed damage I’m doing to my health with every missed hour.

Then I stumbled across the fascinating book by Dr. Merijn van de Laar, psychologist and sleep scientist How to Sleep Like a Caveman. The premise caught my attention—could understanding how our ancestors slept actually improve my sleep today? Surprisingly, it made a huge difference. Realizing that our ancestors never adhered to the modern obsession with an 8-hour sleep routine felt like an enormous weight lifted off my shoulders.

Even better, I also discovered one particularly powerful tool to stop my spiraling worries during those dreaded 3 AM wake-ups—a simple phrase: “This thought can wait.” Honestly, I don’t even remember exactly where I first read this advice, but it’s been transformative for me.

Here’s everything I’ve learned about why ditching harmful sleep myths and adopting a more natural, caveman-like approach can help us reclaim restful nights.

The 8-hour sleep obsession is stressing you out (and me, too!)

We’ve all seen those alarming headlines: “Not Getting 8 Hours of Sleep Is Destroying Your Health!” For someone like me, who already struggles to sleep well, these articles only increase anxiety. Ironically, worrying about sleep quality became my biggest obstacle to actually getting good rest.

The pressure to achieve this gold-standard sleep schedule is unrealistic and often counterproductive. It made me dread going to bed and left me frustrated when I inevitably woke up throughout the night. Instead of sleep being restful, it became another source of stress.

What cavemen can teach us about sleep

According to Dr. van de Laar, our prehistoric ancestors had a completely different sleep pattern. Instead of insisting on one continuous, 8-hour block, early humans often slept in segments. They would go to sleep shortly after dark, wake briefly during the night, perhaps tend to fires or engage in quiet reflection, then fall asleep again until dawn.

This segmented sleep pattern, far from being problematic, was actually completely natural. Recognizing this historical perspective was profoundly liberating. If early humans could thrive without the rigidity of modern sleep expectations, why couldn’t I?

Adopting this perspective made me realize it’s okay—even normal—to wake up occasionally during the night. Instead of panicking about being awake at 3 AM, I learned to accept it as natural and temporary, significantly reducing my sleep anxiety.

Modern life is sabotaging our sleep

Our caveman ancestors slept in sync with nature, but modern life constantly interferes with this natural rhythm. Artificial lights, screens, temperature-controlled homes, and our 24/7 connected lifestyles disrupt the biological processes designed to help us sleep naturally.

Personally, I’ve noticed how screen time—scrolling through my phone or watching TV late at night—significantly affects my sleep. I’ve also realized how indoor environments, artificially heated or cooled, prevent me from experiencing the natural signals that cue my body it’s time to rest.

Understanding these factors helped me adjust my environment. I reduced my screen time, lowered my bedroom temperature, and made sure I read only print books at night rather than my usual practice of reading on my iPad. These small tweaks quickly improved my sleep quality.

How adopting a caveman approach helped my 3 AM wakefulness

Perhaps the biggest benefit I gained from exploring ancestral sleep practices was discovering the technique to manage 3 AM wakefulness. As a chronic overthinker, waking up in the middle of the night used to mean endless, spiraling thoughts. Work stresses, unresolved problems, even trivial worries seemed magnified in the darkness.

Then I read somewhere as I mentioned earlier—a piece of simple but powerful advice: when nighttime worries start overwhelming you, gently tell yourself, “This thought can wait.” Initially, I was skeptical. Could something this simple genuinely help?

To my surprise, it did. By acknowledging my worries but consciously deciding to postpone dealing with them until the morning, I gave my anxious mind permission to rest. Over time, this simple practice became a reliable habit. Instead of spiraling into anxious thoughts at 3 AM, I found myself drifting back to sleep more easily.

Practical steps to sleep like a caveman tonight

Inspired by Dr. van de Laar’s advice and my own experiences, here are simple, practical steps you can take right now to improve your sleep:

• Minimize screen time: Reduce or eliminate the use of phones, tablets, and televisions at least an hour before bedtime. Opt instead for calming activities like reading a book, gentle stretching, or journaling.
• Keep your bedroom cool and dark: Lowering the temperature slightly signals your body it’s time to rest. Additionally, blackout curtains or an eye mask can help mimic the darkness our ancestors experienced, promoting deeper sleep.
• Embrace shorter sleep sessions if needed: If you’re not sleepy, don’t force yourself to stay in bed. Instead, spend less time awake in bed to build healthy sleep pressure naturally. It’s okay to have shorter periods of sleep, followed by wakefulness, then sleep again.
• Adopt a calming bedtime ritual: Develop a relaxing nighttime routine that prepares your mind and body for sleep. Whether it’s drinking herbal tea, meditating, or reading quietly, this ritual can cue your body to wind down.

Final thoughts

Learning about caveman sleep patterns dramatically shifted my perspective. Instead of viewing nighttime awakenings as a failure, I now accept them as part of a natural sleep cycle. Instead of stressing about reaching the perfect 8-hour mark, I focus on the quality and natural rhythm of sleep that suits my own body.

The truth is, rigid sleep expectations often do more harm than good. Letting go of the 8-hour rule adopting the “caveman mindset,” and using my new mantra—“This thought can wait”—has significantly reduced my sleep anxiety and improved my overall well-being.

If you’ve been struggling with sleep, I encourage you to challenge the conventional myths that keep you stressed and awake. Embrace a more natural, flexible approach inspired by our ancestors, and you might discover, as I did, a more restful, less anxious relationship with sleep.