Relationships can be tricky, can’t they? Even the strongest couples can find themselves caught up in habits or patterns that slowly chip away at their connection.

As a relationship expert, I see the same common mistakes showing up again and again, often without people even realizing they’re making them.

The good news? These pitfalls are avoidable once you know what to look out for.

Today, I’m going to break down the 7 most common relationship mistakes I see and share some practical tips on how you can steer clear of them.

Ready to strengthen your relationship? Let’s dive in!

1) Expecting your partner to read your mind

It’s a common scene in many relationships. You’re upset, and you expect your partner to just know why. But they don’t have a clue, and this leads to even more frustration.

This is what I call the “mind reading” mistake. It’s expecting your partner to instinctively know your thoughts and feelings, without you having to express them.

It reminds me of a quote by Irish playwright George Bernard Shaw: “The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”

We all want to feel understood. And sometimes, we wish our partners could just get us without any need for explanation. But unfortunately, that’s not how it works in real life.

Communication is key in any relationship. Without it, misunderstandings grow, leading to unnecessary conflicts.

So how do you avoid this common mistake?

Start by expressing yourself openly and honestly. Don’t hold back your feelings and thoughts assuming your partner will just ‘get it’.

2) Falling into the comparison trap

There’s this one couple I know, the kind that posts picture-perfect moments on social media, and I’ll admit, there have been times when I’ve found myself comparing my own relationship to theirs.

But let me tell you something I’ve learned as a relationship expert – comparison really is “the thief of joy“.

When you start comparing your relationship to others, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment.

No relationship is perfect, and what you see on social media is often just a highlight reel. Behind those perfect photos are real people with real problems.

Avoiding this common mistake is simple; stop comparing.

Every relationship is unique with its own strengths and weaknesses. Instead of comparing, focus on nurturing your own relationship.

The grass is greener where you water it. Instead of looking over the fence, start tending to your own lawn.

3) Becoming overly dependent

When I was writing my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I spent a great deal of time researching one particular relationship mistake – codependency.

In my years of experience, I’ve seen how easy it is for people to lose themselves in a relationship.

It starts with spending all your time together, then slowly, your interests, friends, and even your sense of self starts to fade away.

You become so attached to your partner that you forget who you are as an individual. This is what we call codependency, and it’s not healthy for any relationship.

A strong relationship consists of two strong individuals.

It’s okay to have separate interests, friends, and time apart. In fact, it’s necessary. It allows you to grow as an individual, which in turn helps your relationship grow.

4) Neglecting the power of “thank you”

I was at a friend’s house for dinner the other day. She cooked an amazing meal and her husband, after finishing his plate, sat back and said, “Honey, that was delicious. Thank you.”

That simple moment stuck with me. It was a small act of gratitude, but it held so much power.

In relationships, we often take our partners for granted. We forget to appreciate the little things they do for us – making a meal, doing the laundry, or even just being there for us after a long day.

But these small acts of kindness shouldn’t go unnoticed. A simple “thank you” can go a long way in making your partner feel valued and loved.

It might seem small, but it can make a big difference in your relationship.

5) Over-compromising in the relationship

Now, this may seem counterintuitive. After all, isn’t compromise the cornerstone of every successful relationship?

Well, yes, but there’s a fine line between healthy compromise and losing your identity.

Over-compromising means always putting your partner’s needs and wants before your own, to the point where you always take the back seat.

It’s agreeing to have sushi for dinner every night because your partner loves it, even though you’re allergic to seafood.

While compromise is essential in any relationship, it should never be at the cost of your needs and happiness.

The key is finding a balance. It’s about meeting in the middle and making decisions that satisfy both parties. 

6) Avoiding difficult conversations

Let’s get real here. Relationships aren’t all rainbows and butterflies.

They involve tough, uncomfortable conversations – discussions about finances, future plans, and yes, even arguments.

From my experience, I’ve found that many couples avoid these difficult conversations. They sweep issues under the rug, hoping they’ll just disappear on their own. But they don’t.

Instead, they fester and grow, creating a rift in the relationship.

Avoiding difficult conversations is just burying your head in the sand. It’s not a solution; it’s a ticking time bomb.

The takeaway here?

If there’s an issue, bring it up. If something is bothering you, express it. It might be uncomfortable in the moment, but it will save you a lot of heartache down the line.

7) Keeping score

Ah, the classic scoreboard—where every favor, chore, or good deed becomes a tally mark. 

In the short term, it might feel like a way to ensure balance, but in reality, relationships aren’t meant to be transactional.

Counting every little thing you or your partner does can create a competitive dynamic, which fosters negativity instead of nurturing love and support.

So, how do you avoid this mistake?

Shift your mindset away from tallying. Focus instead on the shared goal of supporting each other without expecting immediate reciprocation.

Love isn’t about who owes whom—it’s about showing up for each other because you want to. 

Conclusion

Navigating the world of relationships can be tricky, but avoiding these common mistakes can make your journey a lot smoother.

As always, I hope you found some value in this post. 

For those who are struggling with codependency or losing yourself in a relationship, I encourage you to check out my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship.

It provides practical advice and strategies to help you maintain a healthy balance in your relationship.