If you’re struggling to find where you fit, these strategies can help you find your people

Finding your tribe can be a tricky business. We’ve all been there, feeling like a square peg trying to fit into a round hole.
Often, it’s about understanding who you are and where you belong. But, how do you figure that out?
Well, I’ve got some strategies that can help you. These aren’t quick fixes, but they’re effective in helping you find ‘your people’.
In this article, we’ll explore these strategies and start your journey towards finding where you truly fit.
1) Self-discovery
Finding where you fit in begins with understanding yourself. It’s the cornerstone of the process and often, the most overlooked step.
We’re usually so focused on fitting in that we forget to take the time to figure out who we truly are, what we value, and what makes us unique.
Knowing yourself is more than knowing your favorite color or what you like to do on the weekends. It’s about understanding your core values, your passions, and your strengths. These are the things that will guide you towards the right people.
Think about it. How can you find ‘your people’ if you don’t know what kind of people you would naturally align with?
So, start with some self-reflection. Jot down your values, your interests, and what makes you feel alive. This can help guide you in finding a community that aligns with who you truly are.
Remember, this isn’t about changing yourself to fit in. It’s about finding where you naturally fit. And that starts with knowing and accepting yourself.
2) Be open to new experiences
One of the things that really helped me find my tribe was being open to trying new things. I used to be someone who stuck to what I knew, and that often limited the range of people I interacted with.
I remember when a friend invited me to a local poetry slam. Poetry and public performances were way out of my comfort zone, but I decided to give it a try.
To my surprise, I found myself deeply moved by the words and emotions shared that night. I started attending more poetry events and soon, I found a community of people who were not only passionate about poetry but also shared similar views on life and creativity.
This experience taught me the importance of stepping out of my comfort zone. You never know where or when you’ll find ‘your people’, so it’s important to be open and willing to explore new experiences.
So, take that class you’ve been thinking about, join that club, or attend that event. You might just find your tribe in the most unexpected places.
3) Networking is key
We often associate networking with professional settings, but it’s also a powerful tool in finding where you fit in socially. The more people you interact with, the higher your chances of finding individuals or groups that share your interests and values.
In fact, a study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that the average person needs to meet someone 16 times before considering them a friend.
This means that finding ‘your people’ might be a numbers game. The more people you meet, the more likely you are to find those who you naturally connect with.
So, attend social events, join clubs or organizations, or volunteer for causes you care about. Each interaction is a step closer to finding where you fit. Remember, it’s not just about quantity but also the quality of these interactions. Authentic connections take time to build, so don’t rush the process.
4) Embrace vulnerability
Let’s face it, opening ourselves up to others can be scary. But it’s also a crucial part of finding ‘your people’. True connections are formed when we let our guards down and allow others to see our true selves.
Vulnerability is about honesty and authenticity. It’s about sharing your thoughts, your dreams, and even your fears. It’s about being real and not being afraid to show your imperfections.
When we embrace vulnerability, we attract people who appreciate our authenticity. These are the people who will accept us for who we are and where we belong.
So, don’t be afraid to share a little more of yourself with others. You might be surprised at how many people appreciate your honesty and can relate to your experiences. Remember, your tribe will love you for who you are, not who you’re pretending to be.
5) Patience is vital
Finding ‘your people’ doesn’t happen overnight. It can take time, and that’s okay. It’s important to remember that this isn’t a race. The goal is to find genuine connections, not to fill up your social calendar as quickly as possible.
Sometimes, it can feel like you’re getting nowhere. You might have attended dozens of meetups, joined various clubs, and still haven’t found your tribe. But don’t lose hope.
Just like any worthwhile endeavor, finding where you fit takes time and patience. The right people will come into your life when the time is right.
In the meantime, continue exploring your interests, meeting new people, and being true to yourself. Your tribe is out there, and you’ll find them when the time is right. Trust the process and be patient with yourself.
6) It’s okay to feel lost
One of the most important things to remember when you’re trying to find where you fit is that it’s perfectly okay to feel lost. In fact, it’s a part of the journey.
We all have moments when we feel like we don’t belong or that we’re wandering aimlessly. These feelings can be hard to navigate, but they’re also a sign that you’re growing and exploring, which are crucial steps in finding your tribe.
Remember this: Feeling lost doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re trying, and that’s something to be proud of.
So, if you’re feeling lost right now, take a deep breath and remind yourself that this is just a part of the process. You’re on your way to finding where you fit. And when you do find your people, all this wandering will have been worth it. Hang in there. You’re doing just fine.
7) Don’t be afraid of change
Once, I found myself part of a group that, at first, seemed like ‘my people’. We shared interests and had great times together. But as time went on, I started to feel out of place. My values had evolved, and I realized I wasn’t the same person anymore.
It was a tough decision, but I chose to step away and start the search again. It was scary, but it led me to a community that aligned more with who I had become.
Change is inevitable. As we grow and evolve, our needs and values can shift, and that’s okay. It’s okay to outgrow certain relationships or communities. It doesn’t mean those connections were not valuable or genuine. It just means you’re ready for the next chapter of your life.
So, if you find yourself in a similar situation, don’t be scared to embrace the change. It might just lead you closer to finding ‘your people’.
8) Seek diversity
When looking for ‘your people’, it’s natural to seek out those who are similar to us. But remember, diversity can add richness to your tribe.
Having a diverse group of friends broadens your perspective, encourages personal growth, and can lead to deeper and more meaningful connections.
It’s about finding a balance between shared values and diverse backgrounds. You might be surprised at how much you can learn from people who have different life experiences or views.
So, don’t limit yourself to one type of group or community. Explore different circles, interact with various cultures, and be open to learning from everyone you meet. Your tribe might end up being a beautiful mix of unique individuals.
9) Be true to yourself
In your quest to find ‘your people’, the most crucial thing is to stay true to yourself. It’s easy to fall into the trap of changing or downplaying aspects of ourselves to fit into a particular group. But remember, your tribe will appreciate and value you for who you truly are, not who you pretend to be.
Honesty and authenticity will attract the right people into your life. Those who respect and appreciate your true self are the ones you want in your tribe.
So, keep being you. Your authenticity is your greatest asset in finding where you fit. And when you find ‘your people’, they’ll love and accept the real you.
Final reflection: It’s about the journey
The fascinating thing about the journey to find ‘your people’ is that it’s deeply intertwined with your personal growth.
The renowned psychologist Carl Rogers once said, “The good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction, not a destination.”
Finding where you fit is precisely that – a process, a direction. It’s about exploring, learning, growing, and constantly evolving. It’s about embracing change, celebrating diversity, and above all, being true to yourself.
Your journey to find ‘your people’ may be filled with moments of uncertainty and feeling lost. But remember, these moments are often the stepping stones to finding where you truly belong.
So as you embark on this exciting journey, hold on to authenticity, stay open to new experiences, and most importantly, be patient with yourself. The journey might be long, but it’s worth every step.