Finding joy in the everyday isn’t always easy. Sometimes, it feels downright impossible. But guess what? It’s often our own habits that are keeping us from experiencing joy.

It’s not about forcing happiness or faking a smile when you’re not feeling it. It’s about letting go of the things that drag us down and make life seem mundane or burdensome.

In this article, I’m going to show you how to identify and say goodbye to 9 habits that might be stealing your joy. Trust me, once you ditch these habits, you’ll be amazed at how much more joy you find in your daily life. Let’s dive in!

1) Comparing your life to others’

Comparisons are joy stealers.

When we compare ourselves to others, we’re usually comparing our worst to their best. We see their highlights, but we don’t see the struggles, the hard work, or the mundane parts of their lives.

In reality, no one’s life is perfect. Everyone has ups and downs, successes and failures. But when we compare ourselves to others, we only see one side of the story.

Keep in mind that everyone’s path is different, and that’s okay. Instead of focusing on other people’s lives, focus on your own progress and the things that make you happy.  

2) Neglecting self-care

I used to be terrible at self-care. I would push myself to the brink, working long hours and barely taking time to eat or exercise. I thought I was being productive, but in reality, I was just draining myself of joy.

Self-care isn’t just about spa days and bubble baths. It’s about making sure you’re taking care of your physical, emotional, and mental wellbeing.

When you neglect self-care, you’re effectively telling yourself that your needs aren’t important. This can lead to burnout, stress, and a serious lack of joy in your daily life.

3) Living in the past or future

Did you know that our brains are wired to wander? Research has found that our minds drift away from the present moment about 47% of the time. That’s almost half of our lives spent dwelling on the past or worrying about the future!

Living in the past or future can rob us of joy in the present. If we’re always looking back with regret or forward with anxiety, we miss out on the happiness that’s right in front of us.

The key is to practice mindfulness, which is all about staying focused on the present moment. Instead of dwelling on past mistakes or worrying about future problems, mindfulness encourages us to stay grounded in the here and now.

4) Holding onto grudges

Holding onto grudges doesn’t hurt the person who wronged us. It hurts us. It’s like a dark cloud that hangs over our lives, blocking out joy and happiness.

Letting go of grudges doesn’t mean letting someone off the hook for their actions. It means choosing to release the negative energy that’s holding you back from finding joy in your daily life.

Forgiveness can be a tough pill to swallow, but it’s often the first step towards finding peace and joy. It’s about taking back your power and choosing joy over bitterness.

5) Overloading your schedule

Let’s face it, we live in a busy world. There’s always something to do, somewhere to be, someone to meet. But constantly rushing from one thing to the next can take a serious toll on our joy.

When we’re always busy, we don’t have time to relax, recharge, or truly enjoy the moments that make life worth living. We’re too caught up in the hustle and bustle to notice the beauty around us.

It’s crucial to understand that being busy doesn’t necessarily mean being productive or fulfilled. Sometimes, it just means being overwhelmed.

6) Ignoring your passions

There’s something incredibly joyful about doing what you love. Whether it’s painting, writing, gardening, or playing an instrument, engaging in activities that ignite your passion can bring a profound sense of happiness.

Unfortunately, many of us ignore our passions. We get caught up in the daily grind, focusing on tasks that need to be done, rather than those that bring us joy. We tell ourselves we’ll pursue our passions “someday”, but that day never seems to come.

These are the things that make you feel alive, that give you a sense of purpose and joy. They’re not just hobbies or pastimes. They’re an essential part of who you are.

7) Seeking approval from others

I spent a large chunk of my life seeking approval from others. I would twist myself into knots trying to be the person I thought they wanted me to be. But in doing so, I lost sight of who I really was—and I lost a lot of joy along the way.

Here’s what I’ve learned: Your joy doesn’t depend on someone else’s approval. It doesn’t come from being liked or validated by others. It comes from being true to yourself.

When you constantly seek approval from others, you give away your power. You let others dictate your worth and happiness. But when you start approving of yourself—embracing your strengths, accepting your flaws, and living authentically—you reclaim that power.

8) Focusing on the negative

Life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows, but how we choose to view our circumstances can make a world of difference in our daily joy.

If we’re always focusing on the negative, we’re bound to feel down. We’ll start to see the world through a gloomy lens, missing out on the positive moments that are all around us.

But if we shift our focus to the positive—finding things to be grateful for, looking for silver linings in tough situations, celebrating small victories—we can cultivate more joy in our lives.

9) Not living in alignment with your values

Your values are the things that matter most to you. They’re the principles that guide your decisions, shape your behavior, and define who you are.

When we live in alignment with our values, we experience a sense of peace and satisfaction. We feel authentic and true to ourselves. But when we compromise our values or live in a way that contradicts them, it can lead to stress, dissatisfaction, and a lack of joy.

Therefore, take some time each day to reflect on your values. What truly matters to you? And are you living in a way that reflects those values?

It’s all in your control

Whether it’s letting go of comparisons, making time for passions, or living in alignment with our values, these aren’t just habits. They’re choices that we make every day. Choices that can either bring us closer to joy or push it further away.

Our journey to joy isn’t determined by our circumstances, but by how we respond to them. It’s about choosing to focus on the positives, even in the midst of challenges. It’s about practicing gratitude, even for the smallest blessings.

As you navigate through your daily life, remember this: Your joy is in your hands. It’s up to you to cultivate it, nourish it, and let it shine brightly in everything you do.