If you’re feeling overwhelmed by parenting, say goodbye to these 7 behaviors

Isabella Chase by Isabella Chase | October 14, 2024, 5:57 pm

Parenting is tough, no two ways about it. I mean, you adore your kids, wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world, but let’s face it – sometimes, it’s all too much.

You’re constantly trying to keep up, to do right by them, but every now and then, you feel like you’re drowning in a sea of diapers, homework, tantrums and meal times.

And sometimes, it’s nothing huge.

Just this nagging sense that you’re overwhelmed, even when every fiber of your being is shouting that you’re supposed to stay strong for them.

Here’s how to identify those 7 behaviors that might be making parenting harder than it needs to be.

It’s time to bid them goodbye and reclaim your sanity, no matter how difficult that may seem.

1) You’re constantly saying “yes”

One of the biggest stressors for parents is the constant pressure to keep our kids happy all the time.

We say “yes” to every demand, every whim, every last-minute change in plans, fearing that saying “no” might disappoint them or make them feel unloved.

But here’s the thing – it’s okay to say “no”.

In fact, it’s not just okay, it’s necessary.

Saying “no” doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent. It just means you’re setting boundaries and teaching your kids about limits and patience.

If you find yourself constantly bending over backwards to please them, it’s time to bid goodbye to this behavior. It’s not sustainable and it’s not healthy for you or for your kids.

Remember, it’s not only their needs that count…

2) You’re putting everyone else’s needs before your own

Sometimes, I feel like I’m the last person on my own priority list.

Between making sure the kids are fed, clothed, educated and entertained, I hardly find time for myself.

It’s like I’m on a treadmill, running and running but never really getting anywhere because there’s always something or someone else that needs my attention.

And it’s exhausting.

But here’s the hard truth – if I don’t take care of myself, how can I take care of my kids?

So, it’s time to say goodbye to this behavior of always putting myself last. It doesn’t make me selfish. On the contrary, it makes me better equipped to be there for my family. Let’s do it together? 

3) You’re caught in the perfectionism trap

I remember this one time when I had planned this perfect birthday party for my little one. I had everything planned down to the last detail – the theme, the cake, the games, even the party favors.

But, as luck would have it, it rained that day. The garden party had to be shifted indoors, and everything felt chaotic and far from perfect.

I remember feeling so stressed and upset that day, not because my kid wasn’t having fun – she was having a blast – but because it wasn’t turning out the way I had envisioned it.

That’s when it hit me. I was so caught up in striving for perfection that I was missing out on the joy of the moment.

Parenting is messy and unpredictable, and that’s okay. It’s time to let go of the idea of being a perfect parent and embrace the beautiful chaos that comes with raising kids.

4) You’re neglecting your social life

Did you know that having a strong social network can actually make you a better parent?

It’s true.

Having friends and maintaining social connections are not just good for your mental health, but they also provide a support system for those tough parenting days.

But often, in the hustle and bustle of parenting, we tend to sideline our social life. Playdates, parent-teacher meetings and kids’ birthday parties become our only social interactions.

I’ve been there too, when my entire world revolved around my kids and I hardly had any time for my friends or even for a casual chat with my neighbors.

It’s time to change that. It’s time to nurture our social lives, not just for our own sake but also to model healthy relationships for our children.

Speaking of healthy relationships…

5) You’re stuck in comparison mode

In this era of social media, it’s easier than ever to compare our parenting styles, our kids, even our homes with others.

I’ll admit, I’ve been there too, scrolling through Instagram, looking at picture-perfect families and wondering if I’m doing enough.

But here’s what I’ve learned – comparison is the thief of joy.

Every child is different, every family is unique and every parent has their own style of parenting. What works for one may not work for another.

It’s time to say goodbye to this constant need to compare and start appreciating our own unique parenting journey. Because at the end of the day, it’s not about being the best parent in the world, it’s about being the best parent for your child.

6) You’re ignoring your partner’s input

Parenting is a team sport, but sometimes we get so wrapped up in our own ways of doing things that we forget to listen to our partners.

My husband used to complain that I would dismiss his ideas or suggestions about parenting. At first, I didn’t see it. I thought I was just being practical or efficient. But then I realized, I was actually shutting him out.

Recognizing this behavior was a game-changer for us.

Parenting became easier when we started valuing each other’s input and working as a team. We brought different perspectives and solutions to the table, which made us better parents.

So, if you’ve been sidelining your partner’s input, it’s time to say goodbye to this behavior and embrace collaborative parenting.

And the last behavior on our list but certainly not least:

7) You’re forgetting to enjoy the journey

At the risk of sounding cliché, they really do grow up so fast. I blink and my little babies are not so little anymore.

And in the midst of all the chaos, the tantrums, the sleepless nights, it’s easy to forget to enjoy these moments.

But here’s the thing – parenthood is not just about raising children, it’s about enjoying the journey, treasuring these fleeting moments.

So, if you’ve been so focused on the destination – on raising well-behaved, successful kids – that you’re forgetting to enjoy the journey, it’s time to say goodbye to this behavior.

Take time to soak in their laughter, their silly jokes, their endless questions. Because these are the moments that truly matter.

These are the moments you’ll remember when they’re all grown up.

Final thoughts

Recognize any of these behaviors in your own parenting journey? You’re not alone. We all have moments of feeling overwhelmed, of succumbing to negative patterns that add to our stress.

But here’s the silver lining – recognizing these behaviors is the first step towards changing them.

Start by acknowledging when you’re saying “yes” too often, comparing yourself with others, or forgetting to enjoy the journey. It’s in these moments of awareness that you can choose a different response.

Change isn’t immediate. It’s a process, one step at a time. Each small victory, each moment where you choose self-care over self-neglect, where you choose to savor the journey instead of rushing towards a destination, is a step towards becoming a more balanced parent.

And remember, as author L.R. Knost said, “The very fact that you worry about being a good parent means that you already are one.”

So be gentle with yourself. Parenting isn’t about perfection, it’s about love. And in the journey of love, there’s always room for growth and change.

With patience and persistence, you’ll find a balance between meeting your children’s needs and your own. And in doing so, you’ll not only become a happier parent but also model for your children the importance of self-love and personal boundaries.

So take a deep breath. You’ve got this.

Here’s to becoming the best parent you can be – for them and for yourself.