If your partner uses these 9 phrases, they probably have low self-esteem

Tina Fey by Tina Fey | November 6, 2024, 4:35 pm

Ever feel like figuring out your relationship is like exploring a new place without a map?

A lot of times, the way your partner talks can give you hints about what they’re going through.

One thing they might be dealing with is low self-esteem.

And it’s not just about how they are with you – it can show up in how they talk to everyone.

The signs of low self-esteem are often pretty subtle, but you can spot them in everyday chats.

Wondering how?

Just pay attention to what they say.

We’ll check out 8 phrases that could mean your partner is struggling with low self-esteem.

So, let’s dive into a bit of relationship sleuthing!

1) “I’m sorry…”

In relationships, saying sorry is crucial when we’ve done something wrong.

But here’s the question:

What if your partner is always apologizing, even when there’s no need?

You see, apologizing excessively could be a sign of low self-esteem.

It might indicate that they feel they’re constantly at fault or that they’re worried about upsetting you.

“I’m sorry…” becomes a shield, a way to prevent possible conflict or criticism.

In other words, it’s their attempt to keep peace, stemming from an internal belief that they must be doing something wrong.

Now, it’s not about blaming them for their low self-esteem.

The key here is that understanding these signs can help you support your partner in their journey towards self-confidence.

2) “You’re too good for me”

There was this one time in my own relationship when my partner repeatedly told me, “You’re too good for me”.

At first, I took it as a sweet comment – a testament to their admiration for me.

However, this phrase can be a red flag that your partner doesn’t see their value.

So, when it kept surfacing in our conversations, I realized it wasn’t just a cute remark.

Put simply, it was an echo of their low self-esteem, a sign they might be feeling unworthy or inadequate in our relationship.

While it may sound like humility, it could be a hidden cry for reassurance or validation.

In essence, when you’re in a relationship, being aware of these phrases can help you understand their struggles even when they don’t realize it.

3) “It’s always my fault”

When your partner regularly blames themselves for everything that goes wrong, it might be more than an overreaction.

Psychologists have found that individuals with low self-esteem often engage in what’s known as self-deprecating behavior.

You see, they tend to see themselves as the root cause of all problems, even when it’s not the case.

Do you see the problem here?

This can lead to a cycle of self-blame and guilt, feeding into their low self-esteem even more.

4) “No one else would put up with me”

Let’s be honest:

Hearing your partner utter the phrase “No one else would put up with me” can be quite alarming.

This is a clear indication that they’re wrestling with feelings of unworthiness or fear of rejection.

And you know what else?

This statement often reflects their belief that they are difficult to love or possess qualities that others might find unbearable.

So, it’s essential to address these feelings, reinforcing their worth and the unique qualities you love about them.

Remember that you can’t change their self-beliefs, but you can be a strong support in helping them see their worth. 

5) “I don’t know why you’re with me”

When your partner questions why you’re with them, it might seem like they’re fishing for compliments.

Here’s what I find interesting:

Dig a little deeper, and you may find it’s a sign of low self-esteem.

Believe it or not, this phrase reveals a lack of self-understanding and appreciation.

Perhaps your partner struggles to see their own positive traits and why those traits are attractive to others.

In a nutshell, encouraging self-love and helping them recognize their strengths can be a powerful way to combat these feelings of self-doubt and insecurity.

6) “I’m not good enough”

To me, it’s tough to see someone you love believe they’re not enough.

The truth is it’s a belief that can affect their:

    • Happiness
    • Goals
    • The health of your relationship.

When you hear your partner say “I’m not good enough”, it tugs at your heartstrings. 

Consider this, as a partner, it’s not just about disputing this belief. 

Patience, understanding, and support are essential.

Bun in the end, being able to accompany them in their journey towards self-acceptance and self-love is worth it. 

7) “I don’t deserve happiness”

When I once heard my partner say, “I don’t deserve happiness”, it truly broke my heart.

This belief that they don’t deserve joy can lead them to self-sabotage their happiness.

Wondering how? 

Well, they may reject opportunities, avoid taking risks, or not fully commit to the relationship because they don’t believe they’re worthy of positive outcomes.

In short, reversing these deeply ingrained beliefs is not an easy task but all that’s required of you is love, patience, and consistent reinforcement of their worth.

8) “I’m a burden”

Everyone has a bad day.

But if your partner often expresses this sentiment, it likely means they’re struggling with feelings of worthlessness and self-doubt.

Now, the issue is that when someone perceives themselves as a burden, they believe that their presence or needs are overwhelming to others.

Just think about it:

Nobody likes to feel like this.

Frequently, this causes them to withdraw or suppress their feelings to avoid being a nuisance.

9) “I can’t do anything right”

In my experience, when your partner repeatedly says, “I can’t do anything right”, it’s more than just frustration.

Here’s the thing:

This self-deprecating statement can hinder their growth, limit their potential, and stop them from trying new things out of fear of failure.

It doesn’t sound great, does it?

Remind them that everyone makes mistakes and it’s an integral part of learning and growing.

Ultimately: it’s about empathy

When it comes to understanding human behavior and emotions, empathy is our most powerful tool.

The phrases that your partner uses can provide valuable insights into their feelings of self-worth.

But remember, it’s not just about identifying these signs.

It’s reacting with compassion and understanding.

The truth is helping someone with low self-esteem isn’t about quick fixes or empty reassurances.

It’s all about being present, really hearing them out, and letting them know their feelings matter.

If they need it, encourage them to talk to a professional.

Help them see how valuable they are.

Challenge those downer thoughts they have, but do it kindly.

And don’t forget to cheer on even their little wins – they all count.

In the end, the journey towards improved self-esteem can be a long one, fraught with obstacles.

But with patience, love, and understanding, it’s a journey you can embark on together.

And sometimes, all it takes is that one person who truly sees us, accepts us, and believes in us to help trigger that change.

Did you like my article? Like me on Facebook to see more articles like this in your feed.