I’ve lived with some pretty difficult people in my time.

From family members to roommates and even in relationships, I’ve managed to share a home with some of the loveliest people out there and some who I’m lucky I didn’t murder.

Let me tell you, there truly are some people out there who no one in their right mind should ever live with.

I’m not saying they need to be kept in solitary confinement, but I’m not saying they don’t, either.

These people have all the stereotypical tendencies of horrible housemates but also some characteristics you might not have considered.

But now’s as good a time to think about it as ever.

You never know when you might have an offer to live with someone, and it’s better to be prepared beforehand.

If your partner displays these seven behaviors, they’re a difficult person to live with, and you either need to find some way to resolve these issues or make some serious changes.

1) They move your things

I think it makes sense to start out with the physical things that people do that make them difficult to live with and then make our way to the emotional and psychological items later.

So, the first thing on my list is moving your things.

Many people are going to read this and think, “So what?”

But for others, this is one of the most frustrating things about living with someone else.

That’s because there are two types of people in the world: people who put things back in the same place all the time and people who leave things wherever they want.

If you’re a Leaver, you won’t even notice that someone is moving your things. In fact, you’ll likely have to be thankful for it. If you leave your stuff all over the place and your partner cleans up after you, that’s probably the only reason your home is even inhabitable at all.

But if you’re a Putter, you almost always know where your things are. That’s because they’re either in use or back where they belong. 

You hold to the mantra “A place for everything and everything in its place,” so when your partner moves things, it can really throw you off. 

If they’re another Putter, you may clash because you each have ideas of where things should go, and you may end up fighting to the death over where to keep the umbrellas.

If they’re a Leaver, however, it’s very likely that they’ll take your things and then randomly leave them somewhere else. Neither of you will ever be able to find them, but at least it may reduce clutter!

2) They want their space but invade yours

I think having your personal space is really important in a relationship, and even more so when you live together.

Despite loving the heck out of each other, it’s always healthy to have some time apart where you can engage in your own interests and activities or just have time to be alone.

This can also be extended to physical space.

You might have your office, and they have a corner of the living room they use as their study.

Even if you live in a tiny, cramped apartment, you probably have at least one nook that you consider yours while they lay claim to a cranny.

But here’s where people get difficult.

While your partner might claim space as their own, they also need to give you yours and respect it. 

You don’t even need to have equal-sized spaces. For example, I have one shelf in the bathroom, and my partner has the other four, the two drawers, and the entire countertop.

Fine!

But what you do need is equal respect for each other’s personal space.

If your partner claims their own space but doesn’t respect yours, trust me, it’s going to end in tears.

Tears for your eyes, not tears in your clothes. Oh, actually, maybe them, too!

3) They use things but don’t replace them

“Who used all the toilet paper and didn’t refill the roll?!”

“Who left one sip of milk in the fridge?!”

These common complaints resonate throughout homes everywhere. The thing is, if only two of you live there and it wasn’t you, you already know the answer.

It can be intensely frustrating when someone uses up the last of your shared resources and doesn’t replace them or even mention it.

You find yourself in dreadful dry cereal moments and how-far-can-one-square-go situations.

OK, so talk to your partner about this issue and agree on a simple rule like “whoever kills it, fills it,” or maybe just divide up the shopping and stocking responsibilities.

That should do the trick, right?

Yeah, it should.

But if you’ve tried that on multiple occasions and it hasn’t worked, you’re living with a very difficult person with entrenched habits.

Good luck!

4) They’re a slob

Now we’re into the meat of it.

Do you think you could possibly be living with a slob?

Here are some telltale signs:

They leave piles of dirty dishes everywhere but near the sink. They eat crumbly things without using a plate. They have to pick up clothes from the floor and smell them to check if they’ve been laundered yet. They habitually forget to flush.

Am I ringing any bells here?

I once had a housemate who kept fish but forgot to replace the water in the tank. When he moved out, we found an abandoned tank full of sludge and rotting fish left behind for us to deal with.

Slobs are so difficult to live with because they seem to disrespect you by not putting in any effort to clean up. If you end up cleaning up after them, this can make you resentful and really grouchy.

It’s really unlikely that you can just sit a slob down and ask them to change. I mean, go ahead and try. Create a cleaning schedule and everything.

But it normally won’t work because their slovenliness goes to their core.

5) They’re controlling of their environment

I have music that I love and want to play at full blast, just like almost everyone else.

I also happen to have a partner who wants to do the exact same thing, just with obviously poorer taste.

So what are we supposed to do, just get two competing systems and have daily stereo wars until our neighbors call the cops?

That’s one solution. The other is to take turns and wear headphones when you don’t like what’s playing.

But if you live with someone who is really controlling of their environment, you might find that compromise isn’t on offer.

They might want to choose what’s on the stereo and the TV all the time and decide which lights get turned on. They want to be the one who arranges the furniture and decides what gets put up on the walls.

But if they don’t give you the respect of letting you have your say, you’re likely going to end up feeling like you can’t express yourself in your own home. And that’s not going to make you feel happy.

6) They’re controlling of your time

If you think having a partner who wants one-sided control of the environment is difficult to deal with, try living with someone who wants to control your time.

I had a girlfriend years ago who I moved in with really early on in the relationship, and let me tell you how much of a mistake it was.

Once I’d moved in with her, she seemed to think she was my agent. She put herself in charge of my daily schedule and then told me what we were doing that day.

“After work, you’re picking me up, and we’re going out with Sarah and her boyfriend on a double date. Then we’ll come back and watch the end of Sex and the City 2.”

This was all telling and never asking, but don’t worry – it didn’t last long.

7) They snoop

One day, I came home early because I hurt myself playing soccer and found her going through some of my old. You know those boxes you have stuffed in the back of your closet or up in the attic?

There’s a reason why things are in there and not out on display. They’re usually old mementos that you don’t need but don’t want to throw away.

But they’re usually also personal.

Well, you guessed it, she found pictures of me with an ex and flew off the handle.

But that was the end because I simply couldn’t live with someone who disrespected my privacy like that.

If your partner displays these seven behaviors, they’re a difficult person to live with.

You can always use the all-important tools of communication and compassion to try to resolve some of these issues, but some might not be fixable.

If that happens, it becomes a case of how much you can handle before you decide to fly the coop.