If your parents did these 7 things growing up, you probably have low self-confidence as an adult

There’s a huge connection between the way we were raised and the adults we become.
Certain behaviors from our parents, often unintentional, can lead to us developing low self-confidence as we grow older.
These behaviors aren’t always obvious, they can be subtle, little things that have a big impact over time.
In the next few paragraphs, I’ll outline 7 of these parental actions that might have affected your self-confidence. It’s not about blame, it’s about understanding and moving forward.
1) Constant criticism
We’ve all heard the saying, “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.” But as we grow older, we realize that’s not entirely true.
Words, particularly those from our parents, carry a lot of weight. And if those words were constantly critical, it can have a lasting impact.
Parents who excessively criticize their children, even if it’s meant as constructive feedback, can unknowingly plant seeds of self-doubt. This can manifest as low self-confidence in adulthood.
It’s not about parents being perfect or never pointing out mistakes. It’s about the frequency and intensity of criticism. Regular, harsh criticism can lead to a child believing they are never good enough, a belief they can carry into adulthood.
So, the first parental behavior that could contribute to low self-confidence later in life is constant criticism.
2) Lack of emotional support
Emotional support is absolutely vital for a child’s development. It helps to build resilience, confidence and a sense of self-worth.
Growing up, I remember feeling like my emotions were often dismissed or overlooked. I’d feel upset or nervous about something and the common response was “you’ll get over it” or “stop overreacting”.
This lack of emotional validation made me start to question my own feelings and whether they were valid or important. It led me to believe that my feelings were not worth acknowledging or discussing.
As an adult, I realized this had a significant impact on my self-confidence. It made me more hesitant to express my feelings, for fear of them being dismissed or invalidated.
So, the second behavior is lack of emotional support, something I experienced first-hand.
3) Overprotectiveness
While it’s normal for parents to want to shield their children from harm, there’s such a thing as being too protective. Children need to experience challenges and learn how to overcome them in order to build self-confidence.
Overprotective parents can inadvertently send a message that their child is not capable of handling difficulties on their own. This can lead to dependency and a lack of confidence in their own abilities.
Incredibly, studies have shown that overprotective parenting can even lead to chronic anxiety disorders in adulthood. The link between overprotection and low self-confidence is significant, making this a key behavior to be aware of.
4) Unrealistic expectations
Every parent wants their child to succeed. But when expectations are set unrealistically high, it can lead to feelings of constant disappointment and inadequacy.
Children who feel they can never meet their parent’s expectations may grow up to be adults who are hard on themselves, with an internal voice that always says “you’re not good enough”.
This constant pursuit of perfection can lead to low self-confidence, as they may never truly feel satisfied with their own achievements. So, setting unrealistic expectations is another parental behavior that can impact self-confidence later in life.
5) Comparison with others
Growing up, I remember dinnertime conversations often revolving around how well my cousins or friends were doing in school or in their extracurricular activities.
These comparisons, while possibly intended to inspire me to do better, had the opposite effect. They made me feel as though I was constantly competing and falling short.
Each comparison felt like a hit to my self-confidence, making me believe that I was never quite good enough just as I was.
This is why the fifth behavior is comparison with others – a practice that can easily erode a child’s sense of self-worth and confidence.
6) Neglecting achievements
Acknowledging a child’s achievements, big or small, is crucial for their self-confidence. It gives them a sense of accomplishment and motivates them to strive for more.
Parents who overlook or dismiss their child’s achievements may unintentionally make them feel their efforts aren’t worth much. This can lead to a lack of motivation and a belief that they’re incapable of succeeding.
So, neglecting to recognize and celebrate a child’s achievements is the sixth parental behavior that can contribute to low self-confidence in adulthood.
7) Conditional love
The most crucial thing to remember is that a child should never feel their parents’ love is conditional on their behavior, achievements, or characteristics.
Unconditional love fosters a sense of security and self-worth in a child. On the other hand, if love is given or withdrawn based on conditions, it can lead to severe self-confidence issues.
The child may grow up believing that they need to earn love and approval constantly, leading to a cycle of self-doubt and low self-esteem. Thus, conditional love is the seventh and perhaps the most damaging parental behavior leading to low self-confidence in adulthood.