Finding real love can be a challenge, especially when certain behaviors stand in the way.

The truth is, some of our habits can unintentionally sabotage our chances at meaningful relationships.

If you’re in the pursuit of love, it’s time to evaluate and say goodbye to these behaviors.

In this article, I’ll guide you through the 9 behaviors you need to drop in order to give love a real chance. 

Let’s take a look at what needs to change, and how doing so can lead you to the love you’ve been looking for.

1) Playing hard to get

In the quest for love, some of us resort to playing hard to get.

This tactic, often seen in movies and television shows, seems to suggest that the more elusive you are, the more desirable you become. 

But reality is a different ball game altogether.

In real life, relationships are built on mutual respect, understanding and communication.

Playing hard to get can often lead to miscommunication and might even be perceived as a lack of interest.

Moreover, if someone is genuinely interested in you, they should like you for who you are, not for the challenge you pose.

Authenticity is key in building a meaningful connection.

2) Ignoring red flags

I’ve been there, and maybe you have too.

It’s easy to get caught up in the excitement of a new relationship and overlook certain behaviors that may not be healthy. 

I remember being in a relationship where my partner would constantly belittle my ambitions.

I mistook it for playful teasing and ignored it, thinking it was just a quirk.

But soon, I realized that this was more than just teasing – it was emotional manipulation.

Ignoring these red flags can lead to toxic relationships that are far from the idea of real love.

It’s crucial to recognize these warning signs early on, address them, and if necessary, walk away.

Real love should uplift you, not bring you down. So, learn from my experience and don’t ignore the red flags.

Your happiness and well-being should always come first.

3) Being overly self-conscious

Did you know that people are more attracted to confidence than physical appearance?

Being overly self-conscious can often send out signals that you’re not comfortable in your own skin.

This can create an invisible barrier between you and potential partners.

In the journey to find real love, it’s crucial to embrace who you are, flaws and all. Remember, nobody is perfect. 

What matters more is how you carry yourself, and that comes from loving and accepting yourself first.

Let go of your insecurities and be confident.

People are drawn to those who radiate positivity and self-assuredness.

4) Holding onto past relationships

Moving on from a past relationship can be challenging.

It’s natural to hold onto memories, but when they start hindering your present, it’s time to let go.

Holding onto past relationships can prevent you from fully embracing new ones.

You might unconsciously compare your current partner to your ex, which is unfair and can create unnecessary tension.

Allow yourself the time and space to heal from past heartaches.

Once you’ve made peace with your past, you’ll be better prepared to welcome new love into your life.

5) Overthinking every situation

Overthinking can be a serious roadblock in your pursuit of love.

When you overthink, you create problems that don’t exist and magnify small issues into major ones.

It’s natural to want everything to be perfect, especially when it comes to relationships.

But the reality is, no relationship is perfect. 

Overthinking can cause unnecessary stress and doubt, which can strain your relationship.

Instead, try to go with the flow.

Communication is key in any relationship.

If something bothers you, talk it out with your partner instead of over-analyzing it in your head.

Love is meant to be a source of happiness and comfort, not a cause of constant stress and worry.

So, say goodbye to overthinking if you’re truly looking for real love.

6) Fear of vulnerability

Opening up and showing vulnerability can be scary.

It’s like handing someone a map to your heart, with all its hidden corners and secret chambers.

But vulnerability is not a sign of weakness; rather, it’s a testament to your strength.

It takes courage to open up, to share your fears, dreams, and insecurities.

In the pursuit of real love, vulnerability plays a crucial role. It allows for deeper connections and fosters trust in a relationship. 

When two people can be their authentic selves with each other, it forms the foundation of a strong and lasting relationship.

7) Expecting immediate perfection

Once, I rushed into a relationship expecting everything to be picture-perfect right from the start.

I had this idealized version of love and relationships, largely influenced by movies and novels.

But real life is not a fairytale. 

It took me time to understand that real love is not about immediate perfection.

It’s about growing together, learning about each other, and accepting each other’s flaws.

Love is a journey with ups and downs.

It takes time to build a relationship that is strong, understanding, and full of mutual respect.

So, let go of the idea of immediate perfection.

Embrace the journey of love with patience and an open mind.

After all, it’s the little imperfections that make love so beautiful and real.

8) Avoiding conflicts

Conflict is inevitable in any relationship. It’s not the absence of conflict, but how you handle it, that defines your relationship.

Avoiding conflicts or sweeping issues under the rug might seem like the easy way out, but it can lead to resentment and misunderstanding in the long run.

Healthy communication is the key to resolving conflicts.

It’s essential to express how you feel and understand your partner’s perspective.

It’s okay to disagree. What’s important is how you navigate these disagreements.

So, if real love is your goal, it’s time to say goodbye to avoiding conflicts and welcome healthy communication.

9) Neglecting self-love

The most important relationship you will ever have is the one with yourself. If you don’t love yourself, it’s impossible to fully love someone else.

Self-love is about acknowledging your worth and not settling for less than you deserve.

It’s about taking care of your mental, emotional, and physical health.

When you truly love yourself, you set a standard for how others should treat you. 

Treasure yourself, because the relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship in your life.

Embracing the journey

As cliché as it sounds, love is indeed a journey, not a destination.

The path to finding real love isn’t always smooth. It’s filled with ups and downs, twists and turns.

But it’s through these experiences that we grow and learn more about ourselves and what we want in a partner.

Letting go of these behaviors isn’t about changing who you are.

It’s about becoming the best version of yourself – someone who is ready to give and receive genuine love.

Finding real love demands patience, self-awareness, and the courage to make necessary changes. 

So here’s to embracing the journey, growing through experiences, and opening your heart to the beautiful possibilities of love.