Ever wished you could charm everyone in the room? That making friends came easy and people just naturally liked you?

That’s the power of charisma. But what if you’re trying really hard and still feeling left out? What’s going wrong?

Believe it or not, it might actually be the things you’re doing rather than what you’re not doing.

Yes, there are little habits that we don’t even notice, which might be pushing people away instead of pulling them in.

No one gives us a guide on how to be likable (wouldn’t that be handy?), but don’t fret – this article is here for you.

We’ve rounded up a list of these sneaky behaviors that might be hampering your charm without you even realizing it.

So, grab your favorite drink, get comfy and let’s dive into the behaviors to ditch for becoming more charismatic and likable.

Who knows, you might learn something new!

1) Negative body language

Did you know that a lot of what we communicate isn’t with words, but with our bodies? It’s true!

In fact, research shows that body language makes up a whopping 55% of overall communication.

So, if your body language is negative, it can really put people off.

For instance, if you’re always crossing your arms or not making eye contact, it might seem like you’re uninterested or don’t want to be around.

Even if that’s not how you feel!

So, try to be more aware of your body language.

Stand tall, make eye contact, and remember to smile.

You’ll be surprised at how much more approachable it can make you seem!

2) Not listening to others

Listening is a powerful tool for building likability and charisma. It’s not just about being quiet while the other person is talking.

It’s about really hearing what they’re saying, showing interest, and responding in a way that shows you understand.

If you’re often interrupting or thinking about what you’re going to say next instead of really paying attention, it could be coming off as rude or self-centered.

Try to focus more on the other person than on yourself.

Ask questions, show interest, and make sure they know you value what they have to say.

This will not only make them feel good, but it’ll also make them see you in a more positive light!

3) Focusing too much on yourself

This one is a bit tricky and I’ve personally struggled with it.

We often think that to be likable, we have to impress people with our achievements, talents, or interesting stories.

But it can sometimes backfire.

I remember a time when I was at a social gathering and I met someone new.

I thought the best way to engage was to share all the exciting things I had done recently.

However, I noticed that the person’s interest started to fade and they soon excused themselves from the conversation.

I later realized that by focusing too much on myself, I had neglected to show interest in them.

People love to talk about themselves and feel valued when you show genuine interest in their experiences and thoughts.

From then on, I made a conscious effort to balance sharing about myself with showing interest in the other person.

It made a world of difference in my interactions and helped me become more likable!

4) Being negative

Negativity can be a real charisma killer.

Constant complaining, criticizing, or focusing on the bad side of things can quickly make people feel drained and want to avoid you.

Being around negative people can actually affect our brains.

It increases the production of the stress hormone cortisol and can even impair cognitive function.

It’s not about being unrealistically optimistic but about having a balanced view and not letting negativity dominate your interactions.

It’ll make you more pleasant to be around and might even make you feel happier and less stressed!

5) Lack of empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others.

It’s about being able to put yourself in someone else’s shoes and see things from their perspective.

And it’s a hugely important trait if you want to be more likable and charismatic.

Imagine you’re having a tough day and a friend brushes off your feelings, telling you to “just cheer up.” Doesn’t feel too good, does it?

Now imagine that same friend taking the time to listen to you, acknowledging your feelings, and offering support.

Feels much better, right?

That’s the difference empathy can make.

It shows people that you care about them and their experiences, making them feel seen and valued. 

So, if you want to be more likable, make an effort to show more empathy.

Remember, it’s not just about understanding people’s joy, but also their struggles. It’s these heartfelt connections that truly build charisma.

6) Taking things too seriously

I’ve always been somewhat of a perfectionist, always wanting things to go exactly as planned.

But over time, I’ve realized that this trait often made me come off as too serious or uptight.

For example, I would get visibly upset if a project didn’t go exactly as planned, or if someone made a harmless joke about a mistake I made.

I realized that people often felt like they had to walk on eggshells around me, which isn’t conducive to being likable or charismatic.

I’ve since learned to loosen up and not take things so seriously all the time.

Now, I try to laugh at mishaps instead of getting upset and handle unexpected situations with a more relaxed attitude. 

This change has not only made me feel happier and less stressed, but it’s also made me more likable.

People feel more at ease around me now, and that’s a win in my book!

7) Trying too hard to be liked

Let’s cut to the chase – we all want to be liked. It’s human nature.

But there’s a fine line between being naturally likable and trying too hard.

Ever been around someone who always agrees with everything you say, laughs at all your jokes, even the not-so-funny ones, and constantly tries to impress you? It feels a bit off, right?

After a while, it doesn’t feel genuine anymore.

Here’s the raw truth: people can tell when you’re trying too hard.

It comes off as needy and insincere, which can actually push people away instead of drawing them in.

The key is to be authentic.

Be confident in who you are, quirks and all. Accept that not everyone will like you, and that’s okay. 

People are drawn to authenticity. So just be you, the real you.

That’s more likable than any façade you could put on.

8) Not giving compliments

Giving compliments is a simple yet powerful way to make people feel good about themselves and, in turn, feel good about you.

But it’s surprising how often we hold back from doing it.

Here’s an interesting fact: according to a study by the National Institute of Physiological Sciences in Japan, receiving a compliment activates the same area of our brain as receiving money!

It’s a clear indicator of how much humans value positive feedback.

But remember, the key is to be genuine. People can tell when a compliment is forced or insincere.

So next time you notice something praiseworthy, don’t hold back.

Let the person know. It could make their day and boost your likability at the same time!

9) Not being present

One lesson I’ve learned the hard way is the importance of being fully present in interactions.

I used to be that person who’s physically there but mentally somewhere else, thinking about my to-do list, worrying about future events, or scrolling through my phone.

I remember a conversation with a friend where, instead of actively listening, I was mentally preparing for an upcoming meeting.

Later, when my friend referred back to that conversation, I had no memory of what was discussed and had to admit that I wasn’t fully present.

This was a wake-up call for me.

By not being present, I was sending the message that I didn’t value the other person’s time or what they had to say.

Since then, I’ve made a conscious effort to be in the moment during conversations.

To put away distractions and really listen.

It’s made a remarkable difference in my connections with others and has definitely made me more likable in their eyes.

10) Being judgmental

We all judge, it’s part of human nature. But let’s be brutally honest here – no one likes to feel judged.

It puts people on the defense, makes them feel small, and can quickly turn a friendly conversation into an uncomfortable one.

If you want to be more likable, you need to let go of hasty judgments and embrace acceptance instead.

Remember, everyone has their own journey, their own struggles, and their own unique perspective on life. Respect that.

11) Not respecting boundaries

Boundaries are a crucial part of healthy relationships.

Invading someone’s personal space, pushing them to share more than they’re comfortable with or disregarding their feelings isn’t just disrespectful – it’s a fast track to being disliked.

The raw truth is, ignoring boundaries isn’t a sign of closeness or friendship.

It’s a sign of disrespect. So respect others’ boundaries if you want to be respected – and liked – in return.

12) Always trying to one-up others

We all know that person who always has a better story, a bigger accomplishment, or a worse hardship.

They’re always trying to one-up everyone else, and it can get pretty tiresome.

Here’s some straight talk: constantly trying to outdo others doesn’t make you more impressive – it makes you less likable.

It turns conversations into competitions and can make people feel like you’re not interested in them, only in showing off.

So next time you feel the urge to one-up someone, take a step back.

Listen to their story, celebrate their achievement, empathize with their struggle.

Make the conversation about them, not about you.

You’ll find that this makes you far more likable than any impressive story ever could.