The bad news is, you’re not getting any younger.

The great news?

You have the chance to keep evolving into a better version of yourself, your mistakes left in the past.

Is your goal to be a better person as you get older?

You’ve come to the right place.

These are the 7 habits you should say goodbye to if you aim to one day meet your highest self.

1) Living life as if it were a competition

I used to think that competing against other people was a good thing because it forced me to grow.

And don’t get me wrong, to some extent, this is true. It is when you’re surrounded by people who challenge you that you genuinely push yourself to get better, be it when it comes to personal development, academia, or your work performance.

But there is a difference between using your competitive spirit to motivate yourself positively and letting it drag you down.

Unfortunately, way too many people fall prey to the latter.

From scrolling on social media and comparing your body to those of popular influencers to feeling like you’re never good enough when compared to your siblings or co-workers, living life as if it were a competition can come bite you if you’re not careful.

Here’s what helped me step out of this mindset and become a better person as a result: I realized that my “success” did not exist on a chronological timeline. Nor did others’.

Sure, person A may have everything person B could ever want at this very moment, but give it ten years, and the tables could completely turn.

What’s more, person A’s definition of success differs vastly from that of B’s, and to top it all off, B can only see a small glimpse of the complexity of A’s life, which is actually far from glamorous.

In other words, the information you have is extremely limited. You’re not competing with a person made of flesh and bone. You’re competing with an ideal.

And ideals can never be defeated. They’re too perfect.

Let it go.

2) Following societal scripts

Another thing you ought to let go of if you want to be a better person as you get older is…

Yep, societal norms, expectations, and narratives.

People might tell you that the best thing to do is get a corporate 9-5, gain some sense of financial security, buy a house, get married, and have kids, but when it comes down to it, no one’s forcing you to do any of those.

If you don’t want to work a 9-5, become a freelancer or a business owner. If you don’t want to buy a house because you’re a free spirit, go travel the world. If you don’t want to have kids, who are we to tell you what’s best for you? Only you know that.

There are people who feel comfortable and happy within societal norms, and that’s great. But if you don’t fit the bill, trying to mold yourself into something you’re not will only give rise to resentment and bitterness.

And if there’s one thing that definitely doesn’t bode well when it comes to self-improvement, it’s when you hate your life so much you have no reason to get out of bed in the morning.

Write your own story. You’ll end up happier and full of energy, allowing you to show up as your best and authentic self.

3) Obsessing over material possessions to get a dopamine hit

Look, I’m not immune to the thrill of online shopping, either.

But lately, I’ve been trying to stay conscious of the reasons I buy new stuff.

If it’s because I genuinely need or want something, I get it.

If it’s because I feel sad, bored, empty, or lonely, it’s time to question my decisions. And that’s because shopping often serves as a coping mechanism.

You might feel that it helps you to deal with negative feelings – it releases feel-good hormones, cheering you up – but the truth is that it’s only a short-term solution that addresses symptoms rather than the root of the problem.  

Moreover, emotional shopping can turn into an unhealthy habit that leaves you feeling even emptier than before.

It’s great to have material possessions that make you feel good and increase your quality of life, but be mindful of when you’re obsessing over clothes just because you don’t want to deal with your sadness.

4) Chronic complaining

This may be controversial, but I think complaining can actually be a good thing. In certain cases, that is.

If you come home after a stressful day at work, venting about it to your partner can help you let off steam, not to mention they’ll provide the emotional support to make you feel seen and understood.

If you complain about the bus being late, the person next to you may join in, and suddenly, you’ve opened up a door to a new connection because you’re bonding over shared misery.

But no one likes a chronic complainer.

Trust me, I know. I used to complain about a dozen times per day, and while this was taxing for my friends, it also had an incredibly negative impact on my own mental health.

By highlighting everything negative and not appreciating the good things in life often enough, I willingly created a mindset of scarcity, negativity, and anger.

It exhausted me, and what’s more, it definitely did not make me a better person.

Ever since I reconfigured my mindset and stopped complaining so much, my well-being has skyrocketed.

5) Passing judgment where compassion is needed

We’ve all done it at one point or another. We’ve all gossiped, made cruel remarks, and passed quick judgment without inspecting the specifics of the situation in depth.

But that’s one of the perks of growing older. We learn from our mistakes, mature emotionally, and realize that it is not judgment that the world needs more of. It’s compassion.

If someone’s lifestyle isn’t to your tastes, why not get to know more about it whilst keeping an open mind? You might learn a thing or two.

If a friend’s behavior seems out of character, why not ask them to explain themselves to you? You may understand them better, thereby strengthening your friendship.

Context is of incredible value. If you don’t have context, you have nothing real; nothing tangible; nothing worthy of assessment.

If there’s one thing that will make you a better person as you age, it’s this: lead with compassion.

6) Repeating the same basic patterns

I like a good daily routine.

But I also know that sometimes, I am prone to building a routine that does me no good; a routine that revolves solely around work and unproductive rest.

If you come home after your 9-5 just to play video games for four hours and go to bed, it’s a cycle that leads nowhere; a pattern that traps you.

The same goes for watching TV, lying in bed and staring at the ceiling, or scrolling on social media.

These activities don’t help you progress anywhere. They may provide some much-needed rest, but that’s about it.

The core issue is that things like scrolling or watching TV help you enter a cycle of passivity. The more you do nothing, the more tired you feel, and the more tired you feel, the lazier you naturally get.

There are other ways to rest, ways that make you feel cared for and recharged, from going on a slow walk to reading a good book or hitting the gym to let your brain switch off while your muscles grow stronger.

Break free of the cycle. Establish habits that help you progress somewhere. If you only ever do the things that keep you stuck, how can you expect to grow as a person?

7) Overthinking matters outside of your control

Alright, let’s finish off with something that’s fundamentally changed the way I approach life and that’s helped me grow exponentially.

The art of detachment.

I used to worry about anything and everything.

I was the person who had to be in charge to make sure the situation didn’t spiral out of control, who tossed and turned in bed, my mind buzzing with worries, and who carried the weight of all my relationships on my shoulders – even those that I should have just let go of.

Naturally, this meant I was constantly anxious, worried, and stressed out. It was a terrible way to live.

Thanks to the art of detachment – letting go of situations and people that don’t serve you and that aren’t choosing you – I’ve learned to focus only on the things that are within my control and that make me truly happy.

If you have a problem that’s impossible to solve right now, pass the responsibility onto a future version of you or onto other people.

If you have a problem you absolutely can solve at this very moment, well, then it’s not a problem. It’s just something to be dealt with.

Once you take action, that’s it. 

Done.