Emotional intelligence isn’t just about recognizing our own feelings, it’s also about understanding others’. And guess what? Your child might already be ahead of the curve.

You see, emotional intelligence isn’t something that develops only in adulthood. Kids can show signs of it too. And if they’re displaying certain behaviors, they might just be emotionally intelligent.

In this article, we’ll explore these 8 behaviors that suggest your kid is emotionally wise beyond their years.

1) They are empathetic

Ever noticed how your child seems to pick up on your moods, even before you’ve expressed them? Or how they seem to understand when their friend is upset, even if they haven’t said anything?

This isn’t just a fluke. It’s likely a sign of emotional intelligence.

Empathy, the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, is one of the key indicators of emotional intelligence. Kids who are empathetic can step into someone else’s shoes, understanding their emotions and reactions.

Remember, it goes beyond just recognizing emotions. An emotionally intelligent child will also respond appropriately – offering comfort to a friend in distress or adjusting their own behavior to match the mood of those around them.

So next time you see your child showing empathy, give yourself (and them) a pat on the back. They’re demonstrating emotional intelligence at a young age.

2) They manage their emotions effectively

As a parent, one thing I’ve always found remarkable is how my youngest son can remain calm, even in stressful situations. He’s only 7, but he’s got this incredible ability to take a deep breath, count to ten, and regain his composure when things don’t go his way.

I remember a time when he was building a Lego tower. He’d been working on it for hours, but it kept collapsing. Any other kid might have thrown a tantrum or given up, but not him. He simply took a deep breath, counted to ten, and started again.

This ability to self-regulate and manage emotions effectively is a clear sign of emotional intelligence. Rather than letting frustration or disappointment take over, emotionally intelligent kids can identify what they’re feeling and find constructive ways to deal with those emotions.

So if you see your child managing their emotions effectively, like my son with his Lego tower, it’s a good sign they have high emotional intelligence.

3) They display a high level of patience

Patience is a virtue, and it’s also an excellent indicator of emotional intelligence. Children who can wait patiently for their turn or for a reward are demonstrating an ability to delay gratification.

Believe it or not, this ability has been linked to long-term success. A famous Stanford study, often referred to as the Marshmallow Test, found that children who were able to resist the temptation of an immediate small reward (a single marshmallow) in favor of a larger reward later (two marshmallows) tended to have better life outcomes as measured by SAT scores, educational attainment, and even body mass index.

So if your child can wait their turn without fussing or can hold off on instant gratification for a bigger payoff later, they’re showing a level of emotional intelligence that bodes well for their future.

4) They demonstrate strong social skills

Social skills are more than just being friendly or getting along with others. They involve understanding social norms, navigating complex social situations, and building strong relationships.

Children with high emotional intelligence often display impressive social skills. They can read the room, understanding when it’s appropriate to be loud and boisterous or when it’s time to be quiet and listen. They’re usually good at resolving conflicts with their peers and are often the ones who step in to mediate when a disagreement arises.

They’re also great at making friends, not because they’re necessarily the most outgoing or charismatic, but because they’re genuine, understanding, and kind.

5) They express their feelings openly

One of the most touching moments as a parent is when your child opens up about their feelings. It’s not just about them saying they’re happy or sad, it’s about them being able to articulate why they’re feeling that way and what led them to feel so.

Emotionally intelligent children have a knack for expressing their feelings openly and honestly. They’re not afraid to admit when they’re scared, upset, or angry. But more than that, they can explain why they’re feeling these emotions.

This level of emotional transparency can be heartwarming and sometimes heartbreaking to witness. But it’s a clear sign of emotional intelligence. It shows that not only are they aware of their emotions, but they’re also comfortable expressing them and discussing them.

6) They show resilience in the face of adversity

I remember when my daughter lost her first pet. It was a little goldfish named Bubbles, and she was devastated. But what amazed me was how she dealt with her grief.

She cried, of course, and for a few days, she was visibly upset. But then, she started to talk about it. She spoke about how Bubbles was in a better place now, how he had lived a good life, and how she would always remember him.

That’s resilience – the ability to bounce back from adversity. And it’s a key sign of emotional intelligence.

Children with high emotional intelligence don’t just fall apart when things go wrong. They feel their emotions deeply, but they also find ways to cope and recover. They’re able to find the silver lining in tough situations and keep moving forward.

So if your child is able to bounce back from setbacks and disappointments, it’s a clear sign they have high emotional intelligence. Bubbles would be proud.

7) They are self-aware

Self-awareness is a fundamental aspect of emotional intelligence. It’s the ability to recognize and understand one’s own emotions, drives, and reactions.

Children with high emotional intelligence often display a high degree of self-awareness. They are in tune with their feelings and are able to identify and articulate them. They also have an understanding of how their feelings can affect their behavior.

For instance, they might say, “I know I get grumpy when I’m tired, so I’m going to bed early tonight,” or “I get upset when I lose, so I need to work on being a better sport.”

This kind of introspection is not common among all children, but those who display it are likely to have high emotional intelligence. It shows that they can monitor their own emotional state and make adjustments accordingly.

8) They display genuine kindness and compassion

Above all, one of the most telling signs of emotional intelligence in children is their capacity for kindness and compassion. Emotionally intelligent children don’t just understand their own emotions and those of others, they also respond to these emotions in a compassionate way.

Whether it’s standing up for a friend who’s being bullied, helping a younger sibling tie their shoelaces, or simply offering a hug to someone who’s having a bad day – these acts of kindness are not just reflections of a good upbringing, but also indicators of high emotional intelligence.

Kindness shows that a child is not only aware of the emotions of others but also cares about them deeply. And compassion is the ultimate expression of emotional intelligence because it involves both understanding and responding to emotions in a positive, supportive way.