The impact of things said to us during childhood can be profound. It’s not just an old saying, but a psychological fact.

If you were often told certain phrases as a kid, you might find yourself grappling with self-esteem issues as an adult.

These words, often spoken casually or even unconsciously, can leave deep imprints on our psyche.

In this piece, we will delve into 9 phrases that might have affected your sense of worth growing up. And remember, it’s never too late for healing and growth.

1) “You’re too sensitive”

Growing up, you may have been told that you were “too sensitive” every time you expressed your feelings.

This phrase can be quite detrimental to a child’s sense of self-worth.

When we’re told that we’re overly sensitive, it implies that our feelings are not valid. It suggests that our reactions are exaggerated or unnecessary, teaching us to dismiss or suppress our emotions.

As adults, this can translate into a struggle with self-esteem. We might constantly question our reactions, undermining our confidence in our own judgment.

It’s important to remember that everyone has a right to their feelings. Being sensitive is not a flaw, but rather a trait that allows for deep empathy and understanding.

2) “Why can’t you be more like your sibling?”

This is a phrase I heard quite often growing up. Being the youngest of three, I was always compared to my older siblings.

“Your brother is so good at math – why can’t you be more like him?” or “Your sister never caused this much trouble.”

These comparisons, while perhaps intended to motivate me, only served to undermine my self-confidence. They made me feel as if I was constantly falling short, as if my own individual strengths and talents didn’t matter.

Into adulthood, this instilled in me a deep-seated belief that I was never good enough just as I am. It’s a battle I still fight with today – reminding myself that my worth isn’t determined by how I measure up to others, but rather by my unique skills and abilities.

3) “You’re not smart enough”

As a child, being told “you’re not smart enough” can be a heavy blow to your self-esteem.

This phrase doesn’t just undermine your intelligence, it also questions your potential and capability. It’s a negative affirmation that can shape your belief system about yourself.

It’s crucial to remember that intelligence is multi-faceted and not confined to academic prowess alone. Each of us possesses different strengths and abilities that make us uniquely intelligent in our own ways.

4) “Stop dreaming and get real”

“Dreaming” is often seen as a child’s fanciful pastime, something to be outgrown with age. The phrase “stop dreaming and get real” is often used to put an end to what is perceived as an impractical or unrealistic ambition.

However, dreams are the foundation of creativity, innovation, and ambition. By discouraging a child from dreaming, you limit their ability to imagine and believe in possibilities.

As adults, those who were told to stop dreaming may struggle with self-worth as they might feel their aspirations are unworthy or unattainable. It’s important to remember, though, that dreams are not just fanciful thoughts but the first step towards achieving our goals. There’s nothing more real than that.

5) “You’ll never amount to anything”

This phrase can be one of the most damaging things a child can hear. It’s an outright dismissal of their potential and capabilities, and it can plant a seed of self-doubt that can grow into an adult struggle with self-worth.

When a child hears “you’ll never amount to anything,” they internalize the belief that they are incapable of success or achievement. This can result in a fear of failure or a reluctance to try new things, both of which can hinder personal growth.

As adults, it’s essential to challenge this ingrained belief and to recognize that our worth is not determined by someone else’s prediction or judgement. We all have the potential for growth and achievement, regardless of what we were told as children.

6) “Don’t be so selfish”

As kids, we’re often taught to share and consider others’ needs, which is undeniably important. But sometimes, the phrase “don’t be so selfish” is used to discourage us from expressing our own needs or desires.

This can lead to a confusing paradox as we grow into adults. We become people pleasers, often at the expense of our own wellbeing. We may struggle with self-worth, feeling guilty for wanting things for ourselves or prioritizing our needs.

It’s heart-wrenching to see how a simple phrase can cause such an internal conflict. It’s critical to remember that it’s not selfish to care for yourself. To love and value oneself is the first step towards a healthy sense of self-worth.

7) “You’re such a disappointment”

Hearing “you’re such a disappointment” is like a punch to the gut. I remember the first time I heard it – I was only ten years old. I had forgotten to do my chores, and those words hit me like a ton of bricks.

This phrase has a way of making you feel inadequate, as if you can never meet the expectations set for you. It chips away at your self-esteem, leaving you feeling unworthy and incapable.

Even now, years later, those words can still echo in my mind during moments of self-doubt. But I’ve learned to counter them with self-affirmations, reminding myself of my worth and accomplishments.

8) “You’re always in the way”

Being told “you’re always in the way” as a child can make you feel like a burden. This phrase suggests that you’re an obstacle, an annoyance, rather than a valued individual.

As adults, this can manifest as a struggle with self-worth and a tendency to undervalue our own presence. We might find ourselves constantly stepping aside, literally and metaphorically, out of fear of being intrusive or bothersome.

It’s important to remind ourselves that we have every right to occupy space, both physically and emotionally. We are not burdens or obstacles; we are individuals with our own worth and contributions to offer.

9) “You’re not good enough”

If you heard the phrase “you’re not good enough” repeatedly in your childhood, it can leave a lasting impact on your sense of self-worth. It’s a phrase that directly assaults your self-esteem, making you feel inadequate and unworthy.

But here’s the most important thing to remember: It’s not true.

You are good enough just as you are. Your worth is inherent, and it doesn’t depend on external validation or achievements. You don’t have to prove your worth to anyone, least of all to yourself.