If you want your relationship to last forever, say goodbye to these 9 habits

Avatar by Lachlan Brown | May 9, 2024, 6:29 pm

There’s a fine line between a lasting relationship and one that’s doomed to fail. Often, it’s the habits we cultivate that make all the difference.

It’s not always about grand gestures or romantic declarations. Sometimes, it’s about letting go of behaviors that, while they may seem insignificant, can actually chip away at your relationship over time.

If you’re serious about making your relationship last forever, saying goodbye to these 9 habits is a must. And believe me, it’s not as daunting as it sounds.

Let’s dive into what these habits are and how you can kick them to the curb for a stronger, healthier relationship.

1) Constant criticism

One of the most destructive habits in a relationship is a constant stream of criticism.

We all have things about our partners that annoy us. But consistently pointing out every little flaw or mistake isn’t constructive—it’s harmful.

Continual criticism can erode your partner’s self-esteem and breed resentment. It creates a negative cycle that’s hard to break free from.

If you want your relationship to last, it’s time to say goodbye to the habit of constant criticism. Instead, focus on expressing your feelings without blaming or attacking your partner.

It’s not about pretending everything is perfect. It’s about communicating in a way that fosters understanding, not resentment.

Saying goodbye to this habit may not be easy, but it’ll be worth it for the health and longevity of your relationship.

2) Keeping score

Here’s a habit that I’ve seen wreak havoc in relationships: keeping score.

In my own relationship, there was a time when every little favor or chore turned into a tally mark. I’d think, “I did the dishes last night, so it’s your turn to take out the trash.” Or, “I listened to you rant about work yesterday, so now it’s my turn to vent.”

This tit-for-tat mentality creates a competitive environment, rather than a supportive one. It’s not about teamwork anymore; it’s about one-upping each other.

When I recognized this habit in my relationship, we decided to stop keeping score. Instead of expecting things in return, we started doing things out of love and appreciation. The change was incredible. Our arguments lessened, and our bond grew stronger.

Letting go of the scorecard is a step towards a more loving and lasting relationship. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it.

3) Avoiding conflict

Believe it or not, avoiding conflict isn’t always the best for your relationship. While it might seem like a peaceful approach, it can actually lead to unresolved issues and resentment.

According to relationship experts, couples who face conflicts and work through them together tend to have healthier and longer-lasting relationships. This is because these challenges often lead to better understanding, trust, and intimacy.

In other words, don’t shy away from disagreements. Instead, learn how to navigate them constructively. It’s all about expressing your feelings and finding a resolution together, not just sweeping things under the rug.

Yes, conflicts can be uncomfortable. But when handled correctly, they can be a catalyst for growth in your relationship.

4) Neglecting self-care

In our quest to make our partners happy, we often forget the one person who needs our love and care the most – ourselves.

When we neglect our self-care, we risk burning out, becoming irritable, and even resenting our partner. This can create a negative environment, affecting the overall health of the relationship.

So, taking time for yourself isn’t selfish—it’s necessary. Whether it’s a spa day, a quiet hour with a book, or a workout session, do what helps you recharge and feel good about yourself.

A strong relationship is made of two healthy individuals.

Make self-care a priority for yourself and encourage your partner to do the same. It’s a win-win for both of you and your relationship.

5) Taking your partner for granted

It’s easy to fall into a routine and start taking your partner for granted.

This often happens when we get comfortable in our relationships and forget to appreciate our partners for who they are.

This habit can slowly eat away at the foundation of your relationship.

It can make your partner feel undervalued and unloved, leading to dissatisfaction and resentment.

Make it a habit to show gratitude. Small gestures like saying “thank you,” giving compliments, or simply acknowledging your partner’s efforts can go a long way in making them feel loved and appreciated.

Appreciation is a key ingredient in any lasting relationship. So, never stop showing your partner how much they mean to you.

6) Overlooking the small moments

In the whirlwind of life, with all its big decisions and grand plans, we often overlook the small moments. These are the quiet mornings with a shared cup of coffee, the laughter over a silly joke, or the comfort in a familiar silence.

These little moments might seem insignificant, but they’re what truly make up a relationship. They’re the threads that weave your lives together, creating a tapestry of shared experiences and memories.

I’ve seen couples lose sight of these moments, focusing only on the big milestones or challenges. And in doing so, they miss out on the everyday magic that keeps love alive.

Cherish these small moments. Celebrate them. Recognize that they are just as important as any grand gesture or milestone.

Because at the end of the day, it’s these precious moments that make your relationship truly special and lasting.

7) Holding onto past mistakes

In my journey, I’ve learned that holding onto past mistakes can be a heavy burden on a relationship. It’s like dragging an anchor that keeps you from moving forward.

There was a time when I found it difficult to let go of my partner’s missteps, or even my own. These past mistakes cast a shadow over our present, causing arguments and mistrust.

But then I realized that nobody is perfect. We all make mistakes. What’s important is that we learn from them and grow together.

Letting go of these past mistakes allowed us to focus on the present and build a better future together. It wasn’t easy, but it was necessary for our relationship to thrive.

If you’re holding onto past mistakes, it’s time to let go.

Forgiveness isn’t just for your partner—it’s also for you. It allows you to move forward, free from the weight of the past.

8) Ignoring your partner’s needs

Every individual has their own unique needs and desires. Ignoring your partner’s needs, whether emotional, physical, or psychological, can cause a rift in your relationship.

It’s important to understand and respect what your partner needs to feel loved and valued. This could be quality time together, words of affirmation, acts of service, or physical touch. Everyone has their own love language.

By paying attention to your partner’s needs and making an effort to meet them, you’re showing that you value their happiness and well-being. This fosters a deeper emotional connection and strengthens your bond.

Take the time to understand your partner’s needs. Communicate openly about what each of you needs to feel loved and fulfilled in the relationship.

It’s a crucial step towards building a lasting relationship.

9) Not prioritizing communication

If there’s one thing that can make or break a relationship, it’s communication. Without it, even the strongest of relationships can crumble.

Effective communication is more than just talking—it’s about listening, understanding, and responding. It’s about being open and honest with each other, even when it’s difficult.

When you prioritize communication, you create a safe space where both of you can express your thoughts and feelings without judgment. This leads to better understanding, mutual respect, and a stronger bond.

Make communication a priority in your relationship. It’s the lifeline that keeps your relationship healthy, thriving, and ready to stand the test of time.

Final thoughts: Love is a verb

When it comes to making a relationship last, it’s important to remember that love is more than just a feeling—it’s an action.

Relationships require effort, patience, and continual growth. They demand that we let go of habits that hinder our connection and embrace those that foster love and understanding.

It’s about being present, showing appreciation, and nurturing communication. It’s about valuing your partner’s needs as much as your own. And most importantly, it’s about understanding that love is a commitment to choose each other, every single day.

No relationship is perfect, but by saying goodbye to these 9 habits, you’re paving the way for a healthier, happier, and lasting bond. It might not always be easy, but in the grand scheme of things, it’s these conscious choices that truly make love endure.

So go on, reflect on these points. How many of these habits do you recognize in your relationship? And more importantly, are you ready to let them go? Because in the end, it’s these small changes that can make the biggest difference.

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