Falling in love is such a great feeling, isn’t it?

But let’s be real, making that love last long term can be hard.

Over time, without even realizing it, we can start doing things that hurt our relationships.

If your aim is a long-lasting relationship, this article is just for you.

We’re going to point out 10 things you might be doing that could be damaging your love life – and how to quit them for good.

Ready to dive in? Let’s get started!

1) Stop avoiding communication

Communication is like the oil in your relationship’s engine. Without it, things can get pretty rough, quickly. If there’s something bugging you, or even if you just want to share how your day was, don’t hold it back. Your partner isn’t a mind reader.

So don’t expect them to guess what you’re thinking or feeling.

Start by making time each day to talk about anything and everything. A simple ‘How was your day?’ can make all the difference.

It’s not about making grand declarations of love daily (although that never hurts), it’s more about keeping the lines of communication open.

And remember, communication isn’t just about talking; it’s also about listening. So make sure you’re not just waiting for your turn to speak, but really hearing what your partner has to say.

2) Stop keeping score

Remember when you were a kid and you’d keep score of everything? Like who got more candies or who got to ride shotgun? Well, that kind of scorekeeping doesn’t belong in a grown-up relationship.

When you start keeping a mental tally of who did what in the relationship, it can quickly turn into a competition. This kind of tit-for-tat mentality can lead to resentment and arguments.

Instead, try to view your relationship as a team effort. You’re both working towards the same goal – a happy, healthy relationship. If your partner forgets to do the dishes one night, cut them some slack. After all, there will be days when you’ll need them to do the same for you.

Love isn’t about being 50/50 all the time. It’s about being 100/100 – each giving your all, even when the other can’t.

3) Stop avoiding conflict

Conflict is a part of life. And it’s definitely a part of any long-term relationship. The key isn’t avoiding conflict, but learning how to handle it in a healthy way.

I remember one time when my partner and I had a disagreement about where to spend our holidays. I wanted to visit my family, while they wanted to explore a new city. Instead of fighting about it or sweeping it under the rug, we decided to sit down and talk it out.

We each shared our viewpoints and feelings, and in the end, we came up with a solution that worked for both of us – we decided to split our holiday time between family and travel.

This experience taught me that conflict can actually strengthen your relationship if you handle it correctly. It gives you a chance to understand your partner better and find solutions that work for both of you.

Don’t run away from conflict. Instead, embrace it as an opportunity for growth and understanding in your relationship.

4) Stop neglecting your own needs

Here’s an interesting fact: relationships where both partners maintain their individuality tend to be happier and healthier.

While it’s lovely to share interests and do things together, it’s equally important to maintain your own identity and fulfill your personal needs.

In the thrill of a new relationship, it’s easy to lose yourself and start living as ‘we’ instead of ‘I’. But remember, you were an individual before you were a couple, and you should continue being one even while you’re in a relationship.

This doesn’t mean you love your partner any less. In fact, taking care of your own needs can make you a better partner. Whether it’s pursuing a hobby, hanging out with friends, or simply having some alone time, these activities can help you stay balanced and happy.

5) Stop holding onto grudges

Love is a beautiful journey, but it’s not always smooth sailing. There are times when your partner might say or do something that hurts you. It’s at these times that you need to remember that holding onto grudges can become an anchor, weighing down your relationship.

Forgiveness, on the other hand, is like a breath of fresh air. It doesn’t mean forgetting what happened or saying that it didn’t matter. It means choosing to let go of the resentment and pain for the sake of your relationship and your own peace of mind.

It’s not always easy to forgive, especially when the wound is fresh. However, keep in mind that everyone makes mistakes. What matters more is how we learn and grow from these mistakes.

6) Stop comparing your relationship to others

I’ll admit, I’ve fallen into this trap before. Seeing friends or couples on social media sharing their ‘perfect’ moments, I would sometimes find myself comparing my relationship to theirs.

“Why aren’t we as adventurous as them?” “Why don’t we have romantic dinners like they do?” I’d wonder. But then I realized something important: what we see on social media is just a highlight reel. It’s not the full picture.

Every relationship is unique, with its own strengths and weaknesses. What works for one couple might not work for another. What’s more, comparing your relationship to others can often lead to unnecessary stress and unrealistic expectations.

Now, instead of comparing, I focus on appreciating what I have. My partner and I might not climb mountains or have candlelit dinners every night, but we have our own special moments – like lazy Sunday mornings or cooking together on weeknights – and those moments are just as valuable.

In the end, it’s about how it feels to you. Stop comparing and start appreciating. Your relationship is one of a kind, and that’s what makes it special.

7) Stop ignoring red flags

Let’s get real here for a moment.

Love can sometimes blind us to the point where we ignore clear signs of trouble – those so-called ‘red flags’.

We tell ourselves, “It’s not a big deal,” or “They’ll change.” But deep down, we know something’s not right.

Ignoring red flags won’t make them disappear.

The truth is, it often makes things worse in the long run. It’s like driving a car with a flat tire and expecting it to fix itself – it just won’t happen!

Whether it’s constant disrespect, blatant dishonesty, or any behavior that makes you feel less than you deserve, these are warning signs that shouldn’t be ignored. It might be tough to face these issues, and even tougher to address them, but it’s crucial for the health of your relationship.

Don’t forget, love isn’t supposed to feel uncomfortable, unsafe or unkind.

If something feels off, it probably is. Trust your gut, address the red flags and remember – you deserve nothing but respect and honesty in your relationship.

8) Stop forgetting the small things

Here’s an interesting fact: according to a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, it’s the little things that matter most in a relationship.

Small acts of kindness, like making a cup of coffee for your partner or leaving a sweet note, can have a huge impact on your relationship’s longevity.

In the hustle and bustle of life, it’s easy to forget these small gestures. But here’s a thing, love doesn’t always have to be grand gestures or extravagant gifts. Often, it’s about showing your partner that you care in small yet meaningful ways.

Don’t forget to say ‘I love you’ before you leave for work, or to give your partner a hug when they’re feeling down. These small acts of love can go a long way in keeping your relationship strong and happy.

9) Stop trying to change your partner

This is something I’ve learned from my own relationship: You can’t change someone who doesn’t want to change. And honestly, you shouldn’t have to.

When I first started dating my partner, there were a few habits of theirs that bothered me. I’d try to subtly (and sometimes not so subtly) make them change these habits. But all it did was cause tension between us.

That’s when I realized that the problem wasn’t them; it was me trying to mold them into my idea of a perfect partner. I learned to accept them for who they are, quirks and all. And guess what? Our relationship got so much better.

Always remind yourself, your partner is not a project. They’re a person with their own unique traits and habits. Try to understand and accept them for who they are. Because at the end of the day, it’s these quirks and differences that make your relationship uniquely yours.

10) Stop neglecting the friendship

This might sting a little, but it needs to be said: if you’re neglecting the friendship in your relationship, you’re setting it up for failure.

Before all the romance and lovey-dovey stuff, there was a foundation of friendship. Just like any good house, if the foundation is weak, everything else is likely to crumble.

When you’re friends with your partner, you enjoy their company—not just for the romantic moments but for the simple joy of being together. You laugh at each other’s jokes, support each other during tough times and genuinely enjoy spending time together.

So don’t take the friendship in your relationship for granted. Nurture it, cherish it and let it grow.