If you’re looking to foster success and confidence in your children, praising them correctly is key. This simple yet powerful parenting tool can dramatically shape their self-esteem and future achievements.

Understanding what to praise, however, can be less straightforward.

In our society, we often default to praising outcomes – a high test score, a goal scored in a match – but research suggests that this approach may not be as beneficial as we think.

Instead, shifting our focus to specific behaviors, efforts and attitudes can be far more effective.

This approach encourages a growth mindset – the belief that skills and intelligence can be developed through effort and perseverance. It’s this mindset that underpins true success and resilience.

In this article, we will explore 8 specific things you should start praising in your children. These range from their effort and perseverance to their kindness and empathy.

1) Praise their effort, not just the outcome

If you want to foster a growth mindset in your child, praising their effort is crucial. It’s easy to focus on outcomes – the goals scored, the A+ grades, the victories.

But by doing so, we may inadvertently send the message that results are all that matters.

Instead, praise your child for their hard work, determination and persistence. This will encourage them to value the process of learning and growing, rather than just chasing after success.

For example, instead of saying “Good job on getting an A,” consider saying “I’m proud of how hard you studied for that test.” This subtle shift in focus can make a significant impact on your child’s mindset and future success.

2) Celebrate their ability to learn from mistakes

Mistakes are inevitable in life, and learning how to handle them is a crucial skill for success. As parents, it’s our job to teach our children to see mistakes not as failures, but as opportunities for growth.

Thus, commend your child when they handle a mistake well. For instance, if they mess up in a game but don’t get discouraged, acknowledge their resilience.

If they do poorly on a test but use it as motivation to study harder next time, commend their determination.

It might sound counterintuitive, but even in moments of failure, there are victories to celebrate. For example, instead of focusing on the fact that they failed a test, focus on the fact that they’re studying harder for the next one.

3) Encourage their curiosity and love for learning

Curiosity is the driving force behind learning and growth. Children who are curious aren’t afraid to ask questions, explore new ideas, and dive deep into their interests.

These are the children who become lifelong learners, constantly seeking to expand their knowledge and understanding.

When your child shows curiosity, don’t hesitate to make much of it. If they ask insightful questions, acknowledge their inquisitiveness. If they spend hours absorbed in a book, a science project, or a puzzle, speak highly of their focus and dedication.

Keep in mind that learning transcends traditional academia. It encompasses all areas of life – from understanding how nature works to figuring out the rules of a new game. Encourage this broad view of learning in your child.

4) Highlight their acts of kindness and empathy

While intelligence and resilience are valuable traits, it’s equally important to raise children who are kind and empathetic.

These qualities will not only make them successful but also compassionate and understanding individuals who can positively impact the world around them.

Praise your child when they display kindness or empathy. Whether it’s sharing their toys with a sibling, helping a friend in need, or expressing concern for a hurt animal – these are moments worth acknowledging.

In doing so, you’re not just fostering their emotional intelligence but also teaching them the value of treating others with respect and compassion.

5) Applaud their creativity

Creativity is a crucial aspect of a child’s development. It enhances their problem-solving abilities, stimulates their imagination, and encourages them to see the world in unique ways.

When your child comes up with a creative solution to a problem, appreciates beauty in an unusual place, or expresses themselves through art, music, or storytelling, commend their endeavors.

Such encouragement not only bolsters the importance of creative thought and expression but also nurtures their innate talents and fosters a deeper appreciation for the richness of imagination.

6) Acknowledge their honesty

Honesty is a fundamental value that forms the foundation of trust and integrity. When your child exhibits honesty, especially in difficult situations, it’s important to acknowledge it.

For instance, if your child admits a mistake or tells the truth when they could have easily lied, praise them for their honesty. This reinforces the idea that honesty is more important than avoiding consequences.

Commending honesty encourages children to value truthfulness and integrity. It shows them that even when it’s hard, being truthful is always the right course of action.

7) Appreciate their resilience

Resilience is a key characteristic of successful, confident individuals. It’s the ability to bounce back from failures and setbacks, to keep going despite difficulties.

As parents, we should make it a point to praise our children for their resilience.

For example, if your child falls off their bike but gets back up and tries again, acknowledge their tenacity. If they struggle with a challenging task but don’t give up, appreciate their perseverance.

When we rave about resilience, we nurture a steadfast determination within children. It imparts the invaluable lesson that success isn’t measured by how many times you stumble, but by your unwavering resolve to rise again.

8) Value their individuality

Every child is unique, with their own strengths, interests, and personality traits. As parents, it’s crucial to recognize and celebrate these individual differences.

Praise your child for their uniqueness. If they have a passion for something unusual, encourage it. If they solve problems differently than their peers, appreciate their innovative approach.

If they express themselves in their own unique way, value their authenticity.

Recognizing and praising individuality fosters self-esteem and confidence in children. It teaches them that they don’t have to conform to be valued – that they’re perfect just the way they are.

Implementing these practices

With the understanding of these eight areas to focus your praise on, you’re now equipped with the knowledge to foster success and confidence in your children. However, knowledge is of little use without action.

To truly reap the benefits, it’s crucial to incorporate these practices into your daily interactions with your child.

Remember, it’s not about empty praises but genuine recognition of their efforts, resilience, creativity, and individuality.

Start observing your child’s actions more keenly and look for opportunities to praise them in these areas. Be consistent and patient.

It may take some time for you to see noticeable changes, but rest assured that your efforts will have a profound impact on your child’s development.

Parenting is a journey filled with challenges and triumphs.

By implementing these praising techniques, you’re not just helping your child become more successful and confident but also nurturing a deeper connection with them.

Keep learning and growing along with your child, as this journey is as much about you as it is about them.