There’s a vast difference between grandparents who are a joy to visit, and those who aren’t. That difference? Behaviors.

The way you act can either encourage your grandkids to spend time with you, or it can send them running in the opposite direction.

It’s not about bribing them with candy or letting them do whatever they want. It’s about creating a space where they feel loved, respected, and heard.

So if you want your grandkids to genuinely enjoy their time with you, it might be time to reassess your behaviors.

Here are 8 behaviors to bid goodbye to, for fostering a stronger bond with your grandchildren.

1) Too much advice

Ever noticed how grandparents have a knack for sharing wisdom? It’s a beautiful thing, but it can also become overwhelming.

Grandkids, like everyone else, value their independence and ability to make decisions. When you constantly offer advice, even with the best intentions, it can feel like you’re undermining their capabilities.

It’s not about completely holding back your wisdom, but more about timing and delivery. A guiding hand is often welcomed; a commanding one, not so much.

So next time you’re tempted to dole out unsolicited advice, take a pause. Ask yourself if it’s necessary and if your grandchild is open to hearing it.

Remember, it’s not about being right all the time. It’s about being there as a supportive figure who respects their autonomy. This simple shift can make a world of difference in their desire to spend time with you.

2) Overemphasis on achievements

I remember when my own grandson, Billy, started playing soccer. I was so excited, I attended every single game, cheering from the sidelines. But over time, I noticed Billy seemed less enthusiastic about my presence.

One day, he confessed that he felt pressured to perform well because I was there. He said he was worried about disappointing me if his team didn’t win.

That was a wake-up call. I realized I had been putting too much emphasis on his achievements, rather than the effort and enjoyment he derived from the game. It wasn’t about winning or losing, it was about him experiencing something he loved.

From then on, I made sure to praise his efforts and the fun he had during the game, regardless of the outcome. And you know what? Billy began to look forward to my presence at his games again.

So remember, grandchildren want their grandparents to be their cheerleaders, not critics. Celebrate their efforts and joy instead of just their achievements. This can make them feel more at ease and look forward to spending time with you.

3) Ignoring their interests

Did you know that an average child has the ability to absorb a new language faster and more efficiently than an adult? This inherent curiosity and learning capacity makes children extremely receptive to exploring new interests and hobbies.

But often, as grandparents, we tend to stick with our own interests, missing the opportunity to connect with our grandkids through theirs.

When you show genuine interest in their hobbies, whether it’s video games or bird watching, it breeds mutual respect. They feel valued and understood, creating a stronger bond between you two.

So next time your grandkid is excitedly talking about their latest Minecraft creation or their newfound love for astronomy, instead of brushing it off, take a moment to join in their excitement. You might be surprised at how much closer it brings you to them.

4) Overstepping boundaries

As much as we love our grandchildren and want to be involved in every aspect of their lives, it’s important to respect their personal space and boundaries. This applies to physical boundaries as well as emotional ones.

Children, just like adults, need their own space for self-expression and personal growth. Constantly hovering over them or intruding their privacy can make them feel suffocated rather than loved.

Similarly, respecting their emotional boundaries means not forcing them to share their feelings or thoughts if they’re not comfortable doing so. It’s about providing a safe space where they can express themselves freely when they’re ready.

Maintaining these boundaries not only ensures a healthy relationship, but also teaches them important life skills like assertiveness and respect for others. Remember, it’s about fostering a relationship based on mutual respect, which will make them enjoy spending time with you even more.

5) Holding onto past mistakes

We all make mistakes, especially when we’re young and learning about the world. It’s a part of growing up. But as grandparents, we sometimes have a tendency to hold onto these past mistakes of our grandchildren, using them as reminders or lessons.

While it may seem like a way to prevent them from repeating the same mistake, it often leads to feelings of guilt and resentment. They might feel like they’re always under scrutiny, hampering their comfort around you.

Instead, try to see every mistake as an opportunity for them to learn and grow. Show them that it’s okay to fail and that what matters is getting back up and trying again.

Remember, your role is not to judge them but to support them. When you offer unconditional love and acceptance, they won’t just love spending time with you, they’ll cherish it.

6) Lack of patience

I’ll admit, patience has never been my strongest suit. I’ve worked in fast-paced environments my entire life, where quick decisions were valued. So when I became a grandparent, I struggled.

Kids, they live in their own world. A world where curiosity runs wild and time seems endless. They could spend hours examining a bug or asking a million questions about the smallest things.

At first, I found this frustrating. I wanted them to hurry up, to move at my pace. But then, I realized I was missing out on their world, their pace.

So, I made a conscious effort to slow down, to be patient. And it was worth it. The joy in their eyes when they discovered something new, the laughter at their own innocent jokes – it was priceless.

Patience isn’t just about waiting, it’s about understanding and appreciating their world. When you do that, you become someone they love spending time with because you’re part of their world too.

7) Avoiding technology

It’s no secret that technology is a big part of our grandchildren’s lives. They’ve grown up in a digital world, with gadgets and the internet at their fingertips.

While it may seem daunting to keep up with the latest apps or games, avoiding technology can create an unnecessary gap between you and your grandkids. They may feel that you can’t relate to a significant part of their lives.

Instead of shying away from technology, take small steps to embrace it. Ask your grandkids to show you how to use a new app or play a video game with them. Not only will this help you connect with them, but it will also show them that you’re willing to step out of your comfort zone.

Remember, it’s not about becoming a tech wizard overnight. It’s about showing interest in their digital world and bridging the generational gap. And who knows? You might even end up enjoying it!

8) Forgetting to listen

At the heart of any strong relationship is communication, and a key part of that is listening. Truly listening.

Often, we’re so eager to share our wisdom or advice that we forget to simply listen. To hear their stories, their dreams, their fears. To understand their world from their perspective.

Listening shows them that you value what they have to say, that their voice matters. It makes them feel seen and heard.

But it’s not just about hearing the words they say. It’s about paying attention to their body language, their tone. It’s about reading between the lines and understanding what they’re trying to express.

So next time your grandchild starts a conversation, take a moment to truly listen. You’ll find it’s a small act that builds a big connection.