If you want to start growing up emotionally, say goodbye to these 7 little habits

Ethan Sterling by Ethan Sterling | August 30, 2024, 12:24 am

Growing up isn’t just about age – it’s about emotional maturity too. And sometimes, the smallest habits are the ones standing in our way.

You see, emotional growth entails a choice. It’s about recognizing the habits that don’t serve us well and choosing to let them go.

These aren’t always glaringly obvious, like throwing a tantrum when things don’t go your way.

Sometimes, they’re subtle little things we do without even knowing.

Here are 7 such habits you might want to say goodbye to if you’re serious about growing up emotionally.

It’s going to be a game-changer. Let’s dive in.

1) Overreacting

We’ve all been there – that moment when something small sets us off and we react as though the world is ending.

That’s overreacting, and it’s a little habit we need to kick if we’re aiming for emotional growth.

Overreacting to situations can be a sign of underlying emotional immaturity.

It’s essentially letting our emotions take the driver’s seat, without any thought of the consequences.

And here’s the thing – it’s okay to feel things deeply.

It’s okay to be upset or angry. But it’s how we express these emotions that matter.

Emotionally mature people understand this.

They recognize their feelings, but they also know how to manage them in a way that is constructive and respectful of others.

Do you find yourself overreacting more often than you’d like?

If so, it might be time to work on this habit. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it.

2) Avoiding uncomfortable conversations

I’ll be the first to admit it – I used to be terrible at this.

Any time a difficult topic came up, I’d find an excuse to change the subject or deflect.

It was my defense mechanism, my way of avoiding anything that could result in conflict or discomfort.

But here’s what I’ve learned: avoiding uncomfortable conversations isn’t a solution.

It’s just a way of delaying the inevitable. And the longer you wait, the harder it gets.

Emotional growth involves facing these tough conversations head-on.

It’s about being open and honest, even when it’s hard.

It’s about listening to others, understanding their perspective, and expressing your own feelings respectfully.

This shift wasn’t easy for me, but it was necessary.

And I can tell you from experience, it’s a game-changer for emotional maturity.

3) Blaming others

It’s an easy trap to fall into – when things go wrong, we instinctively look for someone else to blame.

It’s a defense mechanism designed to protect our self-esteem.

But did you know that people who regularly blame others are more likely to suffer from psychological distress, such as anxiety and depression?

That’s because, at its core, blaming others is a way of refusing to take responsibility for our own actions.

When we grow emotionally, we learn to take ownership of our actions and their outcomes.

We understand that we have control over our responses and reactions.

And instead of pointing fingers, we look inward and ask ourselves what we could have done differently.

So next time you’re tempted to blame someone else for your misfortunes, pause for a moment and reflect.

It’s a small step towards emotional maturity but definitely an important one.

4) Seeking constant validation

Let’s face it, we all love a bit of praise and recognition.

It feels good to be appreciated and valued.

But when we start to rely on external validation to feel good about ourselves, it becomes a problem.

You see, emotional maturity involves being comfortable with who you are, independent of what others think.

It’s about knowing your worth and not letting it waver based on others’ opinions.

This doesn’t mean you should ignore feedback or constructive criticism.

It simply means that your self-esteem shouldn’t be solely dependent on the approval of others.

Working on this habit can be challenging, especially in a world where likes, comments, and shares are often seen as measures of worth.

But trust me, nothing beats the feeling of being content with who you are.

5) Holding on to grudges

There was a time when I held on to resentment like it was a lifeline.

I kept a mental list of all the wrongs done to me and allowed it to fuel my anger and bitterness.

But here’s the thing, holding onto grudges doesn’t harm the person who wronged you. It harms you.

It’s like carrying a weight around your neck that only gets heavier with time.

Emotional growth is about learning to let go, to forgive.

Not necessarily because the other person deserves forgiveness, but because you deserve peace.

It took me a while to understand this, but when I did, it was like taking a deep breath after being underwater for a long time.

Letting go of grudges didn’t mean I was weak or that I was letting others walk all over me.

It meant I valued my peace more than my pride. And that, my friend, is emotional maturity.

6) Comparing yourself to others

In today’s world of social media highlight reels, it’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing your life with others.

But let’s be honest, comparison is the thief of joy.

When we constantly compare ourselves to others, we’re setting unrealistic standards and expectations.

We forget that everyone has their own journey, their own timeline, and their own struggles that we might not see.

Emotional maturity involves recognizing your self-worth and not letting it be determined by how you stack up against others.

It’s about celebrating your progress, no matter how small, and being patient with yourself.

Remind yourself that you are enough just as you are. It’s a powerful shift towards emotional growth.

7) Resisting change

Change is the only constant in life.

Yet, many of us resist it because it pushes us out of our comfort zones and into the unknown.

But here’s the thing – growth and comfort cannot coexist.

To grow emotionally, we must embrace change and the uncertainty that comes with it.

Change allows us to learn, to adapt, and to evolve.

It might be uncomfortable at first, but over time, it enables us to develop resilience and flexibility.

Welcoming change with open arms will shape you into a stronger, wiser individual.

Final thoughts: The journey to emotional growth

The path to emotional maturity is intimately tied to our understanding and acceptance of ourselves.

Letting go of these 7 habits won’t be easy.

It will require patience, dedication, and above all, self-compassion. But I promise you, it’s worth it.

Because on the other side of that fear is a more authentic, resilient, and emotionally mature version of you.

A version that can navigate life’s ups and downs with grace and wisdom.

Emotional growth isn’t a destination. It’s a journey, one where every step forward, no matter how small, is a victory.