If you’re like me, you’ve probably realized that the people you attract in your life are often a reflection of your own behavior.

It’s strange, but true. If you want to start attracting better people, you need to take a good look at your own actions.

And let me tell you, there are some behaviors that are absolute people-repellents.

In this article, I’ll be sharing with you the 9 behaviors you need to say goodbye to if you want to start attracting better people in your life. It’s not always easy, but trust me, it’s worth it.

1) Being overly negative

Let’s be real, nobody enjoys the company of a perpetual pessimist.

Here’s the thing: the energy you emit often dictate the energy you receive. If you’re always negative, griping, or nitpicking, chances are you’ll draw in folks who do the same.

Negativity tends to breed more negativity. It’s a cycle that’s hard to shake. But if you’re keen on attracting better company, it’s time to bid farewell to this behavior.

Therefore, make a deliberate shift toward positivity. Seek out silver linings instead of dwelling on the gloom. Express gratitude and acknowledge the good stuff more frequently.

2) Not setting boundaries

For the longest time, I was a people pleaser. I said yes to everything, thinking it would make me more likable, more appealing to others. I piled on the work, commitments, and social obligations until I was overwhelmed.

But you know what? It didn’t bring better people into my life. Instead, it attracted those who took advantage of my inability to set boundaries.

Setting boundaries isn’t about being selfish or rude. It’s about self-respect and recognizing your limits.

Once I started standing up for myself and saying no to things that didn’t align with my needs, I saw a remarkable change in the caliber of people I attracted. They respected my boundaries, valued my time, and appreciated my worth.

3) Constantly comparing yourself to others

In today’s social media-driven world, it’s tempting to compare ourselves to others and get caught up in their highlight reels.

But did you know that studies have shown that people who compare themselves to others tend to have lower self-esteem and higher levels of anxiety and depression?  

Not only does this habit harm your mental well-being, but it also affects the kind of folks you draw into your life. People are naturally drawn to those who exude confidence and are comfortable in their own skin.

If you’re aiming to attract quality people, it’s high time to ditch the comparisons.

Remember, everyone’s journey is unique, including yours. Focus on your own growth and progress, and watch as you start to attract those who value you for who you are, not who you’re trying to be.

4) Being judgmental

Snap judgments are a natural part of being human, but there’s a fine line between that and being overly judgmental.

Constantly critiquing others not only pushes people away but also clouds your vision to their positive traits. We’re all a mix of strengths and weaknesses, after all.

To bring better folks into your circle, work on fostering an open and accepting attitude. Take a moment to see things from others’ perspectives before casting judgment.

Keep in mind, everyone has their own struggles. Showing empathy can be the key to attracting quality individuals into your life.

5) Not taking care of yourself

Self-care is not just about bubble baths and spa days. It’s about looking after your physical, mental, and emotional health. It’s about making time for activities that nourish your soul and make you feel good.

If you’re not taking care of yourself, it can be hard to attract better people into your life. Why? Because people are typically attracted to those who value and respect themselves.

When you prioritize self-care, it sends a message to others that you value yourself. And when you value yourself, others are more likely to value you too.

6) Not being true to yourself

Being true to yourself – it sounds like a simple concept, right? But how many of us can honestly say we live by it?

So many of us hide our true selves, thinking that if we conform to what others want or expect, we’ll be more accepted, more loved.

But the truth is, pretending to be someone you’re not is exhausting. And it doesn’t attract the right people into your life.

The most beautiful relationships are formed when people are genuine and authentic. When they’re not afraid to show their strengths and vulnerabilities.

When you are true to yourself, you attract people who appreciate and love the real you. People who see your worth and value your authenticity.

7) Avoiding difficult conversations

I used to avoid difficult conversations like the plague. Confrontation? No, thank you. I’d rather keep the peace and bottle up my feelings. But over time, I realized that this habit was doing more harm than good.

Avoiding difficult conversations can lead to misunderstandings, resentment, and fractured relationships. It also sends a message that you’re not open to addressing issues head-on.

On the other hand, when you’re willing to engage in difficult conversations, it shows that you’re committed to resolving issues and improving your relationships.

It shows that you’re mature enough to handle tough situations with grace.

8) Holding onto grudges

Carrying grudges is like lugging around a ton of bricks. It’s exhausting and does nothing good for your well-being.

Harboring bitterness and resentment can drive people away and hinder your ability to form meaningful connections. Nobody wants to be around someone stuck in the past.

If you’re looking to attract better company, it’s high time to release those grudges. Forgiveness isn’t about excusing past wrongs but about choosing peace over hostility.

Forgiveness is a favor you do for yourself. It liberates you from the weight of negativity and makes room in your heart for brighter interactions.

9) Failing to grow and evolve

Life is an ongoing journey of growth and transformation. If you’re not moving forward, you’re falling behind. And nothing pushes people away quicker than staying stuck in one place.

The most magnetic individuals are those who embrace change, constantly learning, and pushing themselves to improve. They’re not flawless, but they’re always striving for progress.

So, if you find yourself in a rut, resistant to change, it’s time to break free. Embrace personal development. Stay open to new ideas, experiences, and perspectives. The more you evolve and grow, the more you’ll draw in others on the same path. 

It starts with us

The secret to drawing in better company often starts with us. It’s about recognizing our habits, owning their impact, and actively tweaking the ones that don’t serve us.

Ditching these nine behaviors isn’t just about upgrading your social circle—it’s about leveling up yourself. It’s about progressing, adapting, and tapping into your full potential.

As you journey forward, keep in mind that every step toward self-betterment not only enriches your own life but also shapes the caliber of people you attract.

Sure, change can be tough, but it’s also incredibly rewarding. Because ultimately, it’s through change that we evolve, and it’s through growth that we truly come alive.