Losing your child’s respect is one of the hardest things a parent can face.

As a parent myself, I know firsthand how easy it is to fall into certain patterns—especially when juggling the demands of family, work, and everything in between.

But over time, I noticed these habits were slowly eroding the relationship I had with my child, and regaining their trust and respect felt like an uphill battle.

If you’ve ever found yourself in a similar situation, know that you’re not alone—and it’s never too late to turn things around.

What I’ve discovered is that earning back your child’s respect isn’t about perfection, but about making conscious changes in how we act and communicate. There are certain behaviors that, once identified and eliminated, can make a world of difference.

Today, we’ll explore five such behaviors. 

Let’s dive in.

1) Being overly authoritative

Parenting is all about balance—finding that sweet spot between being a guiding parent and a trusted friend.

However, when authority tips into being overly controlling or demanding, it can breed resentment in your child. They may start viewing you more as a dictator than someone who’s there to support them.

Research highlighted by WebMD shows that authoritarian parenting, which is excessively rigid and unyielding, can lead to emotional and behavioral issues in children, including depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem.

It can also impact their social skills and decision-making abilities, leaving them feeling powerless and disconnected.

It goes without saying that none of us want these things as parents. 

While it’s natural to want the best for your child, guiding them to make choices instead of enforcing rules without room for dialogue fosters respect—and strengthens your bond.

2) Not keeping promises

I’ve learned this one the hard way.

When my son was about 8 years old, I promised him that we would go on a fishing trip over the weekend. He was thrilled and looked forward to it all week. But unfortunately, when the weekend came, I got swamped with work commitments.

I had to break my promise.

The disappointment on his face is something I won’t forget. It’s a look that said loud and clear that I had let him down.

That was a wake-up call for me. I realized that every broken promise, no matter how small it may seem to us, can chip away at our child’s respect for us. They start doubting our words and reliability.

If you’re serious about regaining your child’s respect, start by keeping your promises. If you know there’s even a slight chance you might not be able to fulfill a promise, don’t make it. Be honest and upfront about your limitations.

It’s better to have a disappointed child now than one who loses respect for you in the long run.

3) Dismissing their feelings

Children are at a stage of life where they’re figuring out their emotions, and your role as a parent is crucial in this process.

When a child feels sad, angry, or scared, it’s not our place to dismiss those feelings. Telling them that they’re overreacting or that they shouldn’t feel a certain is doing them, or you, no favors.

As noted by Annie Tanasugarn, a doctor of psychology, this sort of “invalidation can lead to later feelings of insecurity, deep depression, and an unstable sense of self-identity.”

Validate their emotions. Let them know it’s okay to feel what they’re feeling and that you’re there to help them navigate through it. It’s about empathy and understanding – two key elements in any respectful relationship.

4) Constantly criticizing

No one enjoys being constantly criticized, and your child is no exception.

A common mistake we often make as parents is focusing too much on what our child is doing wrong, rather than appreciating what they’re doing right.

If your child only ever hears negative feedback from you, it can lead them to feel unappreciated and undervalued.

Instead, try to balance your constructive criticism with praise. Let your child know when they’ve done something well. Show them that you see their efforts and appreciate them.

By doing so, you’ll not only boost their self-esteem but also regain their respect.

5) Stepping in to help them all the time

This one might seem strange at first. Aren’t we, as parents, supposed to help our children whenever they need it?

Yes, of course.

But there’s a fine line between helping and doing too much for them, especially when it comes to small challenges like homework, resolving minor disputes with friends, or handling everyday frustrations.

If we constantly swoop in to solve every problem, we risk sending the message that they’re not capable of handling things on their own.

Even worse is that, according to the folks at the Gottman Institute, “if we don’t let our children have the freedom to learn about the world and discover their purpose and what makes them happy, they will struggle to find happiness and live a balanced life—all of which will impact their mental health.”

I remember a time when my daughter was struggling with a school project. My instinct was to jump in and “fix” it for her, but I stopped myself and offered only a bit of guidance.

She ended up figuring it out on her own, and the look of pride on her face when she completed it was priceless. That moment taught me how crucial it is to give children the space to overcome challenges independently.

Allowing them to work through small problems on their own fosters confidence, and in turn, respect. They begin to see you not just as someone who swoops in to save the day, but as someone who trusts in their abilities—building mutual respect in the process.

The bottom line 

Regaining your child’s respect isn’t about being the perfect parent—it’s about recognizing and breaking habits that undermine trust.

By avoiding overly controlling behaviors, keeping promises, validating their feelings, and allowing them to handle challenges on their own, you can rebuild respect and strengthen your bond.

Small, mindful changes in how you engage with your child can lead to lasting improvements in your relationship.