Being a parent – it’s arguably one of the toughest jobs out there.

Especially when you’re trying to raise daughters who are not just strong, but also confident in their own skin.

It’s like walking on a tightrope, balancing between being supportive and over-protective.

Let’s face it, we’ve all been there.

You might find yourself slipping into certain behaviors, thinking you’re doing the right thing. But are you really?

This is where we hit the brakes, take a step back and reassess.

Here, I’m going to spill the beans on eight behaviors that you might want to ditch if you’re serious about raising strong and confident daughters.

And trust me, saying goodbye to these behaviors might be a bigger challenge than you think.

Let’s dive in…

1) Constantly rescuing them from failures

Raising kids? It’s a bit like a rollercoaster ride.

There are highs, lows and sometimes, there are failures.

And as a parent, it’s natural to want to rush in and save the day when your daughter is struggling.

You want to make everything right for them, to shield them from disappointments.

But here’s the kicker: It might not be the best thing for them.

See, failure is an integral part of life. It’s how we learn, grow and become resilient.

And if we’re constantly stepping in to rescue our daughters every time they stumble, we’re inadvertently sending a message that it’s not okay to fail.

But it is okay. In fact, it’s more than okay.

It’s necessary.

By allowing them to face their failures and setbacks head on, we’re helping them to develop resilience and problem-solving skills that are crucial for their growth.

We’re teaching them that it’s not about never failing, but about picking yourself up each time you do.

2) Projecting your own fears and insecurities onto them

This one is a tough pill to swallow.

I remember when my daughter wanted to join the school soccer team.

She was all excited, ready to take on a new challenge. But instead of encouraging her, I found myself saying things like, “Are you sure? What if you get hurt? Soccer is a rough game, maybe you should try something safer.”

Looking back, I now realize that I was projecting my own fears onto her.

I was so caught up in my own worries and insecurities that I almost held her back from doing something she was genuinely excited about.

And that’s not fair, not to her.

Our daughters have their own journey to embark on.

They have their own passions to pursue, their own dreams to chase.

And as parents, our job is not to impose our fears onto them, but to support them and cheer them on.

Yes, it’s important to guide them and keep them safe.

But it’s equally important not to let our own fears become their roadblocks.

They need to explore, take risks and learn from their experiences. That’s how they become strong and confident individuals.

3) Discouraging them from expressing their emotions

The famous poet Robert Frost once said, “No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader.”

Well, I reckon this nugget of wisdom applies to parenting as well.

Emotions, they’re a tricky business. Especially when it comes to our daughters.

We live in a society that often tells girls that they’re too emotional, too sensitive.

That crying is a sign of weakness. But that’s far from the truth.

In fact, being able to express emotions is a sign of strength and self-awareness.

It’s an indicator that they’re in tune with themselves and aren’t afraid to show vulnerability.

Think about it. If we discourage our daughters from expressing their emotions, we’re essentially teaching them to suppress their feelings.

And that can lead to all sorts of problems down the line – low self-esteem, anxiety, depression.

Instead, let’s encourage them to embrace their emotions. Let’s teach them that it’s okay to cry, to be angry, to be happy.

That their feelings are valid and important.

After all, isn’t that what being strong and confident is all about?

Being true to yourself and not being afraid of showing your emotions?

4) Over-praising or under-praising their accomplishments

Here’s something you might not know: both excessive praise and lack of praise can have a negative impact on your daughter’s self-esteem.

On one hand, over-praising can make them reliant on external validation.

They might start to believe that their worth is tied to their accomplishments, and feel pressured to constantly perform at a high level.

On the other hand, under-praising can make them feel unseen and unappreciated.

They might start to believe that their efforts aren’t good enough, no matter how hard they try.

It’s a balancing act, really.

We should celebrate our daughters’ achievements, big or small.

But it’s also important for us to make sure that they understand their worth isn’t solely defined by their accomplishments.

And more importantly, we need to teach them to appreciate their own efforts and to take pride in their work, irrespective of the results.

After all, confidence isn’t just about winning or losing.

It’s about knowing that you’ve done your best and being proud of it. 

5) Creating an atmosphere of constant competition

Competition can be healthy.

It can motivate us, push us to strive for excellence, and bring out the best in us.

But when it becomes a constant in your daughter’s life, it might just do more harm than good.

Imagine living in an environment where you’re constantly compared to others – your friends, siblings, or even your parents.

Where you’re always expected to be the best, to win, to outdo everyone else. Sounds exhausting, right?

That’s exactly how your daughter might feel.

An atmosphere of constant competition can create unnecessary pressure and stress.

It can lead to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt, especially when they don’t measure up.

Instead, let’s create an environment of acceptance and encouragement.

Let’s teach our daughters to compete with themselves and strive for personal growth rather than constantly comparing themselves to others.

Let’s teach them that their worth isn’t defined by how they stack up against others, but by their own efforts and progress.

6) Ignoring their opinions and ideas

Every person has a voice.

Every person has something to contribute. And yes, that includes our daughters.

You might be tempted to dismiss their opinions or ideas because they’re young or inexperienced.

But here’s the thing: every idea, no matter how small or insignificant it may seem, can hold great value.

By brushing off their thoughts, we’re not only missing out on potential wisdom, but we’re also making them feel unheard and unimportant.

As a result, they might start doubting their own thoughts and ideas.

And that’s a surefire way to undermine their confidence.

Instead, let’s make an effort to listen to what they have to say.

Let’s encourage them to speak up, to share their thoughts and ideas, no matter how outlandish they might seem.

Because when we respect their opinions, we’re teaching them to respect themselves and their thoughts.

We’re showing them that their voice matters. 

7) Overloading them with unrealistic expectations

Expectations.

We all have them.

And in moderation, they can be a good thing. They can serve as goals, give direction, or provide motivation.

But when these expectations become unrealistic, they can create a heavy burden for our daughters to carry.

Imagine living under the shadow of an impossible standard. It’s like climbing a mountain that never ends.

No matter how hard you try, you never seem to reach the top.

Unrealistic expectations can breed self-doubt and anxiety.

They can make our daughters feel like they’re not good enough, no matter how hard they try.

Instead of pushing them towards these impossible standards, let’s help them set realistic goals for themselves. Let’s guide them in their journey, but let them set the pace.

8) Forgetting to model the behavior you wish to see

This one hits home.

As parents, we are our daughters’ first role models.

They look up to us, they imitate us, they learn from us.

And often, our actions speak louder than our words.

You can tell your daughter to be confident, to be strong, to believe in herself.

But if she doesn’t see those traits in you, it’s going to be hard for her to internalize them.

Are you showing confidence in your own abilities?

Are you standing up for yourself when needed?

Are you treating yourself with respect and kindness?

These are the behaviors that our daughters will pick up on. These are the behaviors that will shape their own self-image and self-confidence.

So before we tell them how to act or who to be, let’s take a moment to reflect on our own behaviors. Let’s make sure that we’re modeling the kind of strength and confidence we want our daughters to embody.

Because at the end of the day, the most powerful lessons are not those we preach, but those we live.