There’s a stark difference between growing older and growing lonelier.

This difference is often rooted in our habits.

As we age, certain behaviors can unwittingly push people away, rather than draw them closer.

Want to make more friends as you age?

Well, you might need to bid farewell to some of your ingrained habits.

Let’s dive in, shall we?

1) Being judgmental

As we age, we tend to accumulate experiences and knowledge.

While this can be a great asset, it can also lead us to form rigid opinions and become overly critical of others.

Nobody likes to feel judged.

People are drawn to those who are understanding and accepting, rather than those who are quick to pass judgement.

Therefore, start cultivating an open mind and a forgiving heart.

2) Not reaching out

A habit I had to leave behind as I grew older was waiting for others to make the first move.

I used to believe that if someone wanted to be friends with me, they’d reach out. Boy, was I wrong!

One day, I met this person at a book club meeting.

We hit it off instantly – similar tastes in literature, shared passion for travel, and both loved cooking.

Yet, after the meeting, I waited for them to get in touch.

Days turned into weeks, and I realized they probably were thinking the same thing – that if I was interested, I’d reach out.

Then, I decided to break the cycle.

I picked up the phone and invited them over for a homemade dinner. This sparked a beautiful friendship that has lasted for years now.

People usually appreciate it when you show interest in them because it’s a sign of respect and admiration.

3) Neglecting self-care

When we neglect our health, both physical and mental, it can lead to a lack of energy and enthusiasm.

This can inhibit our ability to connect with others and form meaningful relationships.

Moreover, how we treat ourselves also sends a message to others about how we expect to be treated.

If we don’t take care of ourselves, it might signal to others that we don’t value ourselves highly.

On the flip side, when we prioritize self-care, we not only feel better but also radiate positivity and attract people toward us.

In fact, a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that people are more attracted to those who exhibit positive behaviors, such as self-care.

4) Holding onto grudges

Grudges weigh heavily on your heart and mind, often causing you to project negativity and bitterness.

This can deter potential friends who might sense this unresolved anger.

Moreover, holding onto grudges can keep you stuck in the past, preventing you from opening up to new relationships and experiences.

It’s about allowing yourself to heal and free up emotional space for new, positive relationships.

5) Being overly competitive

While a healthy level of competition can be motivating, taking it to extremes can be off-putting to potential friends.

It can make others feel uncomfortable and less likely to engage with you.

As we grow older, friendships become less about competing and more about supporting each other.

They become safe spaces where we can share our vulnerabilities without fear of judgment or one-upmanship.

Instead, focus on fostering cooperation, encouragement, and mutual respect in your interactions.

This shift in mindset can significantly increase your attractiveness as a friend.

6) Not expressing gratitude

Saying “thank you” can be more powerful than you might think.

Gratitude is the heart’s memory, a gentle reminder of the kindness and good deeds of others.

It’s an acknowledgment that you value and appreciate their presence in your life.

Sadly, as we grow older, we often forget to express our gratitude, taking people and their gestures for granted.

This can inadvertently make them feel unappreciated and less likely to invest in the friendship.

Keep in mind, a simple “thank you” can touch another person’s heart and nurture the bond of friendship.

It’s a small gesture that carries big significance in any relationship.

7) Being a constant complainer

There was a time when I found myself complaining a lot.

Whether it was about the weather, work, or the waiter at the restaurant, I always found something to grumble about.

Over time, I noticed that people started to distance themselves from me.

My constant negativity was draining their energy and taking away from the joy of our interactions.

That’s when it hit me: nobody likes to be around a constant complainer.

Complaining not only spreads negativity but also pushes people away.

It’s difficult to form close relationships when your conversations are clouded with complaints.

8) Ignoring personal growth

Stagnation can be a friendship killer.

Personal growth isn’t just about self-improvement.

It’s about evolving as a person, learning new things, gaining new perspectives, and becoming more understanding and empathetic.

As we grow older, it’s vital to continue learning and growing.

This not only makes us more interesting as individuals but also helps us connect with a wider range of people.

9) Avoiding vulnerability

The strongest bonds are often formed when we open up and show our true selves, complete with our imperfections, fears, and dreams.

This vulnerability allows others to connect with us on a deeper level.

Yet, as we age, we often build walls to protect ourselves from getting hurt. We avoid showing vulnerability, thinking it makes us appear weak.

In reality, it makes us human.

The heart of the matter

The heart of human connection and friendship often pulses with the rhythm of understanding and mutual respect.

Each habit we’ve discussed carries a significant impact on our social interactions.

From being judgmental to avoiding vulnerability, these behaviors can inadvertently create barriers between us and potential friends.

Let’s strive to cultivate habits that attract, not repel.

Let’s be open, gracious, forgiving, positive, growth-oriented, and vulnerable.

In doing so, we not only enrich our own lives but also those around us.

After all, the best way to have a friend is to be one.