As we get older, many of us feel a stronger desire to live in alignment with our values and principles. Integrity becomes more than just a buzzword—it’s a way of being that reflects who we truly are. 

But living with genuine integrity isn’t always easy; often, it requires letting go of behaviors that subtly undermine our authenticity and lead us away from the person we want to become.

In this post, we’ll explore five such behaviors that can erode integrity without us even realizing it and discuss why saying goodbye to them can help you lead a life that feels more honest, meaningful, and true to yourself.

Let’s dive in and take a step closer to living with greater integrity!

1) Avoiding accountability

As the years pass, it’s natural to accumulate a stockpile of life experiences, both good and bad. 

But the key to living with integrity lies in how we deal with these experiences. It’s so easy to blame others for our mistakes or misfortunes. After all, it’s much less painful than admitting we were wrong.

But guess what? It’s not about blame. It’s about responsibility. 

Taking accountability for your actions means owning up to your mistakes and taking steps to correct them. It’s about learning and growing from every situation.

Everyone makes mistakes. But those who admit their faults and strive to improve are the ones who truly age with integrity.

Don’t shy away from accountability. Embrace it and watch how it transforms your life and character over time.

2) Being judgmental

We’ve all been there. There was a time in my life when I was quick to judge others, often without knowing the full story. It created a barrier that kept me from truly understanding people and their situations.

Let me share a personal example. A few years ago, I had a neighbor who would often play loud music late into the night. Initially, I labeled him as inconsiderate without ever stopping to consider why he might be doing it. 

But then, one day, I decided to have a conversation with him. I learned he worked late shifts, and the music was his way to unwind after a long, stressful day.

This experience reminded me of author Brad Meltzer’s words: “Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always.” 

Being judgmental clouds our perceptions and fosters negativity. Living with integrity means replacing judgment with empathy and understanding. It’s about giving others the benefit of the doubt and choosing kindness over assumptions.

3) Sacrificing your values for gain

None of us like to admit it, but most of us have, at some point, compromised our values for personal gain. 

Maybe it was staying silent on an issue you disagreed with to avoid conflict or saying “yes” to something that didn’t align with your beliefs to please others.

Or perhaps it was bending the truth slightly in a professional setting to get ahead or to make a good impression. These moments might seem small, but each one chips away at our integrity.

When we sacrifice our values for short-term gains, we move further away from living authentically. It can lead to a cycle where, over time, we begin to feel disconnected from who we are and what we stand for.

Living with integrity means standing by your principles, even when it’s difficult or inconvenient. 

It’s about making choices that reflect who you truly are and valuing your character above temporary rewards. By holding firm to your values, you create a sense of inner peace and self-respect that no external gain can replace.

4) Neglecting self-care

This one might sound out of place on this list. I mean, what does self-care have to do with integrity, right?

Well, a lot, actually. Hear me out. 

When we don’t take care of ourselves, we simply aren’t our best selves.

Experts have noted that a lack of self-care is associated with feelings of hopelessness, reduced patience, and lower motivation to engage with others. And this impacts how we show up in our relationships, our work, and even with ourselves.

Think about it: when we’re exhausted and running on empty, patience becomes scarce. We’re more likely to snap at a friend or lose our temper over small things, actions that may feel out of character but happen because we’re drained. 

Or, when we’re burned out, we may avoid social interactions and neglect people we care about, leaving them feeling neglected or unimportant.

Basically, neglecting self-care sets us up to act in ways we may later regret. 

Living with true integrity requires us to show up as our best selves, and that starts with prioritizing our own well-being. Self-care isn’t just a personal luxury; it’s a foundation for treating others—and ourselves—with the respect and integrity we value.

5) Overcommitting

Last but not least, overcommitting is a behavior that can seriously erode our integrity.

When we take on too much, eventually something has to give, and all too often, that “something” is our integrity.

Maybe it’s agreeing to help a friend when our schedule is already packed, volunteering for yet another project at work, or making plans we know we don’t have the energy for.

While the intentions are good, overcommitting often means we end up letting others down, feeling guilty, or delivering less than our best.

Living with integrity requires respecting our own limits and being realistic about what we can genuinely follow through on. 

By setting boundaries and being honest about our capacity, we protect our energy, keep our commitments, and build trust with those around us. It’s far better to honor a few promises than to make many we can’t fulfill.

Final thoughts

Often, it’s the little habits like these that sneak up on us, subtly guiding us away from our values. 

Even with the best of intentions, we sometimes find ourselves in situations where we feel pressured or overwhelmed, and end up betraying our own principles without ever intending on doing so.

By letting go of behaviors that compromise our authenticity, we create room to live in a way that feels more genuine and fulfilling. 

When we stay mindful of these habits, we’re better equipped to catch ourselves before they lead us off course.