Maintaining solid self-esteem is no easy task. It’s often a delicate balance, marred by pitfalls and bad habits that can chip away at your confidence.

These habits can be sly and subtle, eating away at your self-worth without you even noticing. The worst part? We often do these things to ourselves unconsciously.

Kick-starting a healthier mindset begins with identifying these harmful habits. That’s why I’ve put together this list of eight habits you need to ditch if you want to keep your self-esteem strong.

So, ready to say goodbye to these self-esteem saboteurs? Let’s dive in.

1) Stop comparing yourself to others

We’re all guilty of this. It’s human nature to look around and measure our success against the people we see. But it’s also one of the quickest ways to erode your self-esteem.

Comparing ourselves to others puts us in a constant state of competition. And let’s face it, there will always be someone who has more or does more than we do. It’s a losing battle that can leave us feeling inadequate and unsuccessful.

Remember that everyone is on their own journey, with their own unique set of challenges and triumphs. Your journey is yours alone, and it’s the only one that should matter to you.

Instead of looking outward for validation, look inward. Celebrate your accomplishments and focus on your growth. This simple shift in perspective can do wonders for your self-esteem.

So the next time you catch yourself playing the comparison game, stop. It’s a habit that’s not serving you well.

2) Quit negative self-talk

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve caught myself in the middle of a negative self-talk spiral. It’s easy to fall into the trap of berating ourselves over minor mistakes or perceived shortcomings.

Once, after a presentation at work that I thought went poorly, I found myself thinking, “I’m a terrible speaker. I’ll never get better at this.” But then I caught myself. Was I really terrible? Or was I just not meeting my own, possibly unrealistic, expectations?

The truth was, I was far from being a terrible speaker. Sure, I wasn’t perfect, but who is? I had let one less-than-perfect experience color my view of myself and my abilities.

Negative self-talk is unproductive and harmful. It’s a habit that can easily chip away at your self-esteem if left unchecked. The key is to catch it, challenge it, and replace it with something more positive.

Next time you find yourself drowning in negative self-talk, take a cue from me – stop, reassess and replace those negative thoughts with positive ones. Trust me, your self-esteem will thank you.

3) Stop seeking approval from others

It’s natural to want to be liked and accepted. But when we start relying on other people’s approval to validate our self-worth, it becomes a problem.

Did you know that according to a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, those who seek approval from others are more likely to experience anxiety and depression? That’s because their happiness is contingent on external factors they can’t control.

Relying on others’ approval for your self-worth gives them power over your self-esteem. It’s important to remember that you’re the only one who needs to approve of your decisions and actions.

Stepping back from the constant pursuit of approval can create a significant shift in your mindset. It allows you to focus on pleasing the most important person – yourself. And when you’re happy with yourself, your self-esteem naturally strengthens.

4) Let go of perfectionism

Perfectionism can be a double-edged sword. While it can drive us to achieve great things, it can also paralyze us with fear of failure. And when things don’t go perfectly, it can cause our self-esteem to take a hit.

Perfection is an impossible standard. Trying to meet it only sets us up for disappointment and self-criticism. Instead of striving for perfection, aim for progress. Recognize that making mistakes is a normal part of the learning process, not a reflection of your worth.

Next time you find yourself obsessing over every little detail or hesitant to start a project because you fear it won’t be perfect, take a step back. Remind yourself that it’s okay not to be perfect. You’re human, after all. And that’s more than enough.

5) Don’t dwell on past failures

We’ve all been there – a setback or failure leaves us feeling deflated and doubting our abilities. It’s easy to get stuck in the past, replaying our mistakes over and over in our minds.

But dwelling on past failures doesn’t change them. It only keeps us stuck, unable to move forward and grow. Each failure is a lesson, an opportunity to learn and improve. It’s not a reflection of your worth or ability.

Remember, everyone – and I mean everyone – experiences failure at some point. It’s a part of life. And each time we pick ourselves up and keep going, we’re building resilience and strength.

So if you’re holding onto past failures, it’s time to let them go. They’re part of your journey, not your destination. Your self-esteem isn’t built on never failing, but on rising every time you fall.

6) Stop putting yourself last

I’ve always been the type to put others’ needs before my own. Whether it was staying late at work to help a colleague or cancelling personal plans to accommodate someone else’s schedule, I found it hard to prioritize myself.

But over time, I realized this habit was taking a toll on my self-esteem. Always putting myself last sent a subconscious message that my needs and wants weren’t as important as others’.

Self-care is not selfish, it’s essential. Prioritizing yourself is a form of self-respect, and it’s vital for maintaining strong self-esteem. It means setting boundaries, saying no when necessary, and respecting your own time and energy.

So if you’re constantly putting yourself last, it’s time for a change. Start treating yourself with the same kindness and respect you show others. Your self-esteem will thank you for it.

7) Stop ignoring your achievements

It’s so easy to overlook our own accomplishments, especially the small ones. We tend to focus on what we haven’t done or what we still need to do, while completely ignoring what we’ve already achieved.

Ignoring your achievements can seriously dent your self-esteem. It’s like constantly moving the goal posts further away just as you’re about to score.

Acknowledging your achievements, no matter how small, helps to build a positive self-image. It’s a reminder of your capabilities and a testament to your hard work and determination.

So next time you achieve something, big or small, take a moment to acknowledge it. Celebrate it. Pat yourself on the back. You deserve it. Your self-esteem will benefit from it too.

8) Quit the habit of self-doubt

Self-doubt is perhaps the most damaging habit when it comes to self-esteem. It’s the voice in your head that whispers you’re not good enough, smart enough, or capable enough.

But here’s the thing: that voice is lying to you.

You are capable. You are deserving. You are enough, just as you are.

Every time you give in to self-doubt, you’re selling yourself short. It’s time to silence that voice and replace it with one of self-belief and confidence.

Believe in your abilities, your worth, and your potential. Because when you believe in yourself, anything is possible. And that’s the most powerful self-esteem boost there is.

Final thoughts: It’s all in your hands

The journey to strong self-esteem is deeply personal and unique to each individual. It’s an inner dialogue that can be influenced by countless external factors, from societal expectations to past experiences.

But at the heart of it all, your self-esteem is governed by your thoughts, perceptions, and actions. That’s right – it’s all in your hands.

Psychologist Nathaniel Branden once said, “Self-esteem is the reputation we acquire with ourselves.” It’s a powerful sentiment that underscores the essence of self-esteem – it’s not about what others think of us, but what we think of ourselves.

So as you move forward, remember this: Each time you say goodbye to a self-defeating habit, you’re saying hello to a stronger, more confident you. And that’s a journey worth embarking on.