Personal strength isn’t just about pumping iron or running marathons. It’s about the attitudes we adopt and how they shape our actions.

And let’s face it, we all have those pesky defeatist attitudes that try to pull us down. They whisper in our ear that we can’t, when we know deep down, we can.

The key to growing stronger is saying goodbye to these negative attitudes. Recognizing them for what they are is the first step towards building a stronger, more resilient you.

In this article, I’m going to share nine defeatist attitudes you need to kick to the curb if you want to grow stronger. Trust me, you’ll thank yourself for it later.

1) “I can’t”

Let’s start with the most infamous of all defeatist attitudes: the “I can’t” mentality.

“I can’t” is the archenemy of growth and strength. It’s a self-imposed limit that we often set without even realizing it.

The moment you say you can’t, you’re already admitting defeat. But here’s the thing, we’re often capable of much more than we give ourselves credit for.

Think about all the times you’ve surprised yourself by doing something you initially thought was impossible. I bet there’s more than one instance, right?

So, instead of saying “I can’t”, try shifting your mindset. Ask yourself, “how can I?” or “what do I need to do to make this happen?”

Remember, your mind is powerful. And often, the first step to growing stronger is convincing yourself that you can. Let’s say goodbye to “I can’t” and welcome the possibility of “I can”.

2) “It’s always my fault”

I used to fall into this trap a lot. I would blame myself for everything that went wrong, even things that were clearly beyond my control.

One time, a project I was working on failed and I immediately thought, “it’s all my fault.” I spent weeks beating myself up about it, convinced that I was the reason for the failure.

But then I had a realization. Not everything is within our control. Sometimes, despite our best efforts, things just don’t go the way we planned.

Blaming ourselves for everything is not only unfair but it’s also harmful to our mental health and growth. It reinforces the idea that we’re not good enough or strong enough, which couldn’t be further from the truth.

Instead of blaming ourselves, we should seek to learn from our experiences. We need to understand what went wrong and how we can prevent it from happening again in the future.

So let’s kick this defeatist attitude to the curb and replace it with a more constructive approach. It’s not about blaming ourselves, it’s about learning and growing with each experience.

3) “I’m not good enough”

This defeatist attitude is a tough one to shake. It’s that nagging voice in the back of your mind that keeps telling you that you’re not good enough, not smart enough, not talented enough.

But here’s something you might not know: studies have shown that people who experience feelings of inadequacy, or ‘imposter syndrome’, are often high achievers. They push themselves harder and hold themselves to exceptionally high standards.

While it may seem counterproductive, feeling like you’re not good enough could be a sign that you’re actually doing better than you think you are.

Instead of letting this attitude hold you back, use it as motivation to keep pushing forward and prove that negative voice wrong. You are good enough, and you have what it takes to grow stronger.

4) “It’s too late for me”

Many people fall into the trap of believing that it’s too late for them to make meaningful changes or to pursue their goals. They think they’ve missed their chance, and they resign themselves to staying where they are.

The truth is, it’s never too late to grow and improve. There are countless stories of people who’ve achieved great things later in life, proving that age is just a number.

Whether you want to learn a new skill, start a new career, or pursue a dream you’ve always had, don’t let the idea that it’s “too late” hold you back.

Time is going to pass anyway. Wouldn’t you rather spend it working towards becoming a stronger, more capable version of yourself? Say goodbye to “it’s too late” and embrace the possibilities that lie ahead.

5) “I’m always unlucky”

Believing that you’re perpetually unlucky can be a major roadblock on your path to growth. This mindset essentially absolves us of responsibility for our circumstances, making us passive observers in our own lives.

Luck can certainly play a part in our lives, but it’s not the only factor. Our actions, decisions, and attitudes also play a significant role in shaping our experiences.

Instead of attributing every setback to bad luck, consider what actions you could take to change your circumstances. What can you do differently next time? How can you turn this setback into a learning opportunity?

Saying goodbye to the “I’m always unlucky” attitude is an important step towards taking control of your life and becoming stronger. Focus on the things you can change, and you’ll start to notice that you’re not as “unlucky” as you thought.

6) “I don’t deserve success”

This is an attitude that can really tug at your heartstrings. The belief that you don’t deserve success is often rooted in deeper issues of self-worth and self-esteem.

You might not believe it now, but you do deserve success. You deserve to see the fruits of your hard work, to feel proud of your achievements, and to enjoy the life you’ve built for yourself.

Everyone stumbles, everyone makes mistakes, but these don’t make you less deserving of success. They’re just part of the journey.

Let’s make a pact to say goodbye to this self-defeating attitude. Believe in your worth, believe in your capabilities, and most importantly, believe that you are deserving of all the good things that come your way. You are not defined by your past mistakes, but by your resilience and strength to keep moving forward.

7) “I’ll fail anyway”

A while back, I decided to take up a new hobby. I had always wanted to learn how to play the guitar. But as soon as I started, I found myself thinking, “I’ll fail anyway.”

This thought was so powerful that it almost stopped me from even trying. But then I realized, failure is not the end of the world. In fact, it’s a major part of any learning process.

Embracing the possibility of failure allowed me to take the pressure off myself. I started enjoying the process of learning, even when I hit wrong notes or struggled with a chord.

The fear of failure can be paralyzing, but only if you let it. Remember, every successful person has failed at some point. It’s not about avoiding failure, but about learning from it and using it as a stepping stone towards success.

So let’s say goodbye to “I’ll fail anyway” and welcome the attitude of “I’ll learn from this.”

8) “I’m not as good as others”

Comparing ourselves to others is a trap that’s all too easy to fall into. We look at other people’s success, their achievements, and we feel like we don’t measure up.

But here’s the truth: everyone is on their own unique journey. Everyone has their own strengths, weaknesses, and experiences. Comparing yourself to others is like comparing apples to oranges – it just doesn’t make sense.

Instead of focusing on how you stack up against others, concentrate on your own growth and progress. Are you better today than you were yesterday? That’s the only comparison that truly matters.

So let’s ditch the “I’m not as good as others” attitude. Your journey is about you, not anyone else. Focus on becoming the best version of yourself, and you’ll find that you’re stronger than you ever thought possible.

9) “I don’t have what it takes”

This is perhaps the most damaging defeatist attitude of all. The belief that you don’t have what it takes can stop you in your tracks before you even start.

But here’s the core truth: you do have what it takes. Each of us has within us the strength, resilience, and determination to overcome challenges and achieve our goals. It’s not about having special skills or talents, it’s about having the will to keep going, even when things get tough.

So let’s say a final goodbye to “I don’t have what it takes.” You are stronger than you think, and you have everything you need to succeed. Believe in yourself and watch as you grow stronger each day.

Final thoughts: Your strength is within you

When we think about strength, we often picture physical feats or material success. But true strength, the kind that lasts, is something much more profound. It’s resilience in the face of adversity, it’s perseverance when the odds are stacked against us, it’s the courage to keep going when everything inside us wants to give up.

Saying goodbye to these defeatist attitudes is not an easy task. It requires self-awareness, courage, and a lot of determination. But know this: every step you take towards shedding these negative mindsets brings you one step closer to discovering your true strength.

Remember, strength does not come from what you can do. It comes from overcoming the things you once thought you couldn’t. As renowned American author Rikki Rogers said, “Strength doesn’t come from what you can do. It comes from overcoming the things you once thought you couldn’t.”

So, let’s bid adieu to these defeatist attitudes and embark on a journey of growth and strength. You have what it takes. Your strength is within you, waiting to be discovered and harnessed. The journey may be challenging, but the rewards are immeasurable. You are stronger than your strongest excuse. Believe in yourself and watch as your world transforms.