Getting older is a journey we all embark on, whether we like it or not. You may find yourself desiring the respect, care, and value that should come with your years of wisdom and experiences. But sometimes, it feels like those things are missing.

You’ve done your best to keep up with the times, to stay active and engaged. You’ve even tried embracing the whole “age is just a number” mantra. But it still doesn’t seem to be enough.

It’s not always a grand revelation. It might just be a quiet realization creeping up on you that some habits you’ve clung onto are actually holding you back from feeling valued and cared for in your golden years.

Here’s how to identify those habits you need to bid goodbye to in your quest for the appreciation and care you deserve as you age.

1) Holding onto past resentments

As you journey through life, you’re bound to have your share of ups and downs. Disappointments, setbacks, and heartbreaks – they’re all part of the package. But as time moves on, so should you.

Sometimes, it’s easy to hold on to grudges and resentments from the past. It might even feel justified. After all, you’ve been wronged and it’s hard to let go.

But here’s the thing: carrying these resentments with you into your older years isn’t doing you any favors. In fact, it could be preventing you from feeling valued and cared for.

Why? Because holding onto resentment can make you appear bitter and closed off. It can create an invisible barrier between you and the people who want to show you care and respect.

Letting go of past resentments doesn’t mean forgetting or condoning what happened. It simply means choosing not to let those past hurts define your present or future.

2) The habit of isolating oneself

In the past, I’ve often found myself retreating into a shell when things got tough. It seemed easier to deal with problems on my own rather than burden others. But, as I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized this habit of isolating myself isn’t helping me feel valued or cared for.

The truth is, we all need a support system, no matter our age. We need people to share our joys and sorrows with, people who can lend an ear when we need to talk or offer a shoulder when we need to cry.

As much as it can be tempting to withdraw and handle things on your own, it’s important to remember that it’s okay to reach out. It’s okay to need others. In fact, it makes us human.

Isolating yourself can make you feel lonely and undervalued. And loneliness in older age isn’t just about missing company – it’s about feeling like you don’t matter.

3) The fear of trying new things

I’ve always been a creature of habit. I found comfort in my daily routines and stuck to what I knew best. But, as I began to age, I realized that this fear of trying new things was limiting my world.

I remember the day I decided to break this habit. It was a sunny day and my granddaughter had just got a new bicycle. She was beyond excited and wanted me to try it out. I was hesitant, I hadn’t ridden a bike in decades.

But her enthusiasm was infectious, and I decided to give it a shot. That was the day I rediscovered the joy of cycling and the freedom it brought with it.

Breaking away from my usual routine and trying something new not only opened up a new hobby for me but also made me feel more alive, more valued. It showed me that there was still so much to learn and experience.

4) Neglecting self-care

As we grow older, our bodies and minds need more attention and care. But it’s ironic how we often forget this. We get so caught up in caring for others, in meeting expectations, that we sometimes forget to care for ourselves.

According to health experts, self-care activities can lead to a reduction in stress and an improvement in mood. Yet, many of us still put self-care on the back burner.

I’m not saying you should drop everything and focus only on yourself. But it’s crucial to keep a balance. Taking care of your physical health, practicing mindfulness, or simply taking a day off to do what you love – these are not acts of selfishness, but acts of self-love.

Over time, I’ve learned that if I don’t take care of myself, I can’t expect others to do so. More importantly, when I started to prioritize my own needs and well-being, I felt more valued and cared for.

5) Being overly self-critical

I think we’ve all been guilty of this habit from time to time. We’re our own harshest critics, and it’s so easy to fall into the trap of constantly judging and berating ourselves for every mistake we make.

I used to be like that too. I’d beat myself up over every little thing I got wrong, and trust me, it did a number on my self-esteem. It made me feel unimportant, unvalued.

But then I realized something: nobody’s perfect. We all have flaws and make mistakes. The important thing is to learn from them and move forward.

Being overly self-critical isn’t just bad for your mental health. It also puts up a barrier that prevents others from getting close to you. People might hesitate to express their care and love if they feel you’re always down on yourself.

6) Ignoring your gut feelings

When it comes to making decisions, we often rely on logic and reason. And while these are important, we shouldn’t overlook the power of our gut feelings.

There have been many times in my life when I’ve felt something wasn’t right, but I ignored that feeling because it didn’t make sense logically. More often than not, I ended up regretting it later.

Our gut feelings are a powerful tool for guiding us. They’re our body’s way of telling us when something feels off or when we’re on the right path. And ignoring them can lead to feelings of discomfort and dissatisfaction.

In my journey towards feeling more valued and cared for as I age, I’ve learned to pay more attention to these feelings. It’s helped me make better choices and has led me to situations where I feel valued and respected.

7) Constantly comparing yourself to others

In this age of social media, it’s so easy to fall into the comparison trap. We see others living seemingly perfect lives, and we can’t help but measure our own lives against theirs.

I’ve been down that road, and let me tell you, it’s a dark and lonely one. It led me to constantly question my worth and left me feeling undervalued and unappreciated.

But then, I realized something – everyone is on their own journey. We all have our own unique experiences, challenges, victories and losses. Comparing ourselves to others is like comparing apples to oranges – it’s simply not fair or helpful.

Learning to appreciate my own journey and stop comparing myself to others has been a game changer. It has allowed me to embrace my worth and feel valued for who I am, not who I think I should be.

8) Failing to express your needs and desires

This is something I’ve struggled with for a long time. I used to believe that voicing my needs and desires was selfish, that I should always put others first. But this habit left me feeling unfulfilled and undervalued.

The truth is, expressing our needs and desires is fundamental to our well-being. It’s about asserting our right to be treated with respect and care. It’s about making sure our voice is heard.

The day I decided to start speaking up for myself was a turning point. Suddenly, I was no longer invisible. My needs mattered, my desires mattered, and I mattered.

I won’t lie, it was difficult at first. It felt uncomfortable and scary. But the more I practiced, the better I got at it. And the result? I felt more valued and cared for than ever before.

Celebrate aging: Each year adds a chapter to your story!

If you’ve found yourself nodding along to these points, it’s likely that some of these habits have been playing a part in your life.

The wonderful news is, you have the power to change. With conscious effort and awareness, these habits can be left behind, allowing you to embrace a more fulfilling older age.

Begin by recognizing these patterns in your daily life. Notice when you’re overly critical of yourself or when you ignore your gut feelings. Start paying attention to instances where you’re isolating yourself or failing to express your needs.

Once these patterns are acknowledged, it becomes easier to pause, reflect and make different choices in the moment.