If you’re someone who’s growing older, like me, you might notice a change in how people treat you. It’s a tough reality, but respect isn’t always a given as we age.

There are some behaviors that, if not dropped, could potentially have people seeing you in a less flattering light. It’s not about pleasing others, but about maintaining your respect and dignity.

Aging isn’t a lifestyle choice, it’s an unavoidable part of life.

But the way we handle it can differ vastly. And for those wanting to feel more respected as they get older, there are certain behaviors worth saying goodbye to.

Let’s explore these behaviors together.

1) Being overly defensive

As we age, it’s natural to feel a little more sensitive about our abilities and accomplishments. But if you find yourself constantly on the defense, it might be time to take a step back.

There’s nothing wrong with standing up for yourself when necessary. However, being overly defensive can actually undermine your respect. It can come across as if you’re not open to feedback or too set in your ways. This can create a barrier between you and others.

Letting go of this behavior isn’t about becoming a pushover. It’s about developing a sense of security and confidence in who you are, regardless of others’ opinions or criticisms. This is a crucial step towards feeling more respected as you mature.

2) Seeking constant validation

While it’s natural to want affirmation from those around us, relying too heavily on others for validation can have the opposite effect of what we desire.

A study conducted by psychologists at the University of Michigan found that individuals who depend heavily on external approval for their sense of self-worth tend to experience higher levels of stress and lower overall life satisfaction.

You may think that seeking approval or validation would lead to more respect. But in reality, it often sends a message that you lack self-confidence or self-worth. It can make you seem dependent on others for your happiness and contentment.

3) Avoiding new experiences

Contrary to popular belief, our brains continue to develop and adapt throughout our entire lives, a process known as neuroplasticity.

Sticking with the familiar and avoiding new experiences might feel comfortable, but it can actually hinder your personal growth and the respect others have for you.

Being open to new experiences shows that you’re adaptable, curious, and willing to learn—qualities that are universally respected. It also keeps your mind sharp and can help stave off cognitive decline.

4) Holding onto grudges

We all have been hurt or wronged at some point in our lives. It’s human nature to feel pain and resentment. 

Letting go doesn’t mean forgetting or condoning the actions that caused us pain. It’s about giving yourself the gift of peace and freedom from past hurts. It’s about choosing your own well-being over bitterness.

People tend to respect those who show the ability to forgive and move on. It’s a sign of emotional maturity and strength. Remember, letting go of grudges isn’t a sign of weakness, but a testament to your resilience and capacity for kindness.

5) Neglecting your own needs

How many times have you found yourself putting everyone else’s needs before your own? It’s not uncommon, especially as we get older and take on more responsibilities.

But continually neglecting your own needs can lead to burnout and resentment, and, surprisingly, it might not win you the respect you imagine. Others may start to take your efforts for granted or even see it as a sign that you don’t value yourself enough to set boundaries.

It’s important to remember that it’s not selfish to take care of yourself. Making time for self-care, pursuing your interests, and setting boundaries are all necessary for your overall well-being.

6) Over-apologizing

I remember a friend who had a habit of saying “I’m sorry” for almost everything, even when it wasn’t their fault or responsibility. It was as if they were constantly apologizing for their own existence.

Over-apologizing can sometimes stem from a need to keep the peace or avoid conflict, but it often communicates a lack of self-confidence. It can give others the impression that you’re unsure of your own worth or abilities.

By doing so, you’ll project more confidence and self-assuredness, qualities that can earn you more respect from those around you.

7) Playing the victim

Life is full of ups and downs, and no one escapes without their fair share of challenges. 

Constantly playing the victim can make it seem like you’re not willing to take responsibility for your own life. This can diminish the respect others have for you, as it can come off as a refusal to grow or learn from your experiences.

By taking charge of your life, accepting responsibility for your actions, and striving to overcome adversity, you’ll command respect from those around you.

8) Ignoring your personal growth

As you age, the most important thing to remember is that you’re never too old to grow, learn and evolve. Stagnation can lead to a lack of self-improvement and can affect how others perceive and respect you.

Fostering a lifelong commitment to personal growth shows that you value yourself and are not content with merely going through the motions of life. It shows you’re actively seeking to be a better version of yourself.

This commitment to personal growth is not only beneficial for your self-esteem and overall happiness but also earns you the respect of others.

Conclusion

Growing older is an inevitable part of life, but how we navigate this journey is entirely up to us. This article has explored behaviors that might be standing in the way of the respect you deserve as you age.

But ultimately, the power to change lies within you.

Bear in mind, time spent on self-improvement and personal growth is never wasted. And being wise means recognizing the need for change and having the courage to make it happen.