Feeling appreciated in life is not about seeking validation from others. It’s about acknowledging your worth and letting go of the behaviors that undermine it.

We all have certain habits or behaviors that hold us back, preventing us from feeling valued and loved.

If you want to feel more appreciated in life, it’s time to bid these 9 behaviors goodbye.

In this article, I will take you through each one, explaining why they’re harmful and how to let them go. Because remember, we only receive the appreciation we believe we deserve.

So, are you ready to feel more appreciated? Let’s dive in.

1) Seeking validation from others

Deep down, we all yearn for acceptance and acknowledgment from those around us. It’s a fundamental aspect of human nature.

However, constantly seeking validation from others can lead to surrendering our self-worth to their opinions, which isn’t healthy.

When our self-esteem becomes tethered to external validation, we find ourselves living for the approval of others, held captive by their judgments. This is a pattern that must be broken if you wish to experience genuine appreciation in life.

You know what? True appreciation stems from within. It’s about recognizing your inherent value and embracing yourself for who you are, irrespective of external opinions.

Remind yourself, you don’t require anyone else’s endorsement to feel worthy or cherished. Your value isn’t contingent upon the perceptions of others.

2) Neglecting self-care

This is a big one for me. I used to be guilty of neglecting my own needs. I was always busy taking care of everyone else, always putting myself last.

There was always something more important, something that needed my attention. And slowly, I began to feel unappreciated and exhausted.

I realized that by disregarding my own needs, I was not only doing myself a disservice, but also those around me. I wasn’t able to give them my best because I wasn’t at my best.

So I made a conscious decision to prioritize self-care. This meant taking time out for myself, doing things that I enjoy, and taking care of my physical and mental health.

And you know what? It made a huge difference in how I felt about myself. I began to appreciate myself more and surprisingly, so did others.

3) Playing the comparison game

In this digital age, it’s so easy to fall into the trap of comparing ourselves with others. With a quick scroll through social media, we’re bombarded with images and stories that can make us feel as if our lives don’t measure up.

The truth is, comparison is a thief of joy. It can make us feel unappreciated and undervalued.

And here’s something fascinating. According to research, people who compare themselves to others on Facebook are more likely to experience depressive symptoms.

My friend, it’s important to remember that what we see on social media is often a carefully curated highlight reel. It’s not an accurate representation of someone’s entire life.

Instead of comparing yourself to others, focus on your own journey. Appreciate your own accomplishments and individual growth. It’s about progress, not perfection.

4) Ignoring your accomplishments

We all have a tendency to focus on what we haven’t achieved rather than what we have. We dwell on our failures and overlook our successes. This can lead to a feeling of inadequacy and under appreciation.

Take a step back and recognize your accomplishments, no matter how small they may seem. Did you finish a difficult project? Did you meet a personal goal? Did you do something kind for someone else?

Each of these victories, big or small, is worth celebrating. By acknowledging your achievements, you cultivate a sense of self-appreciation.

Keep a record of your wins. Write them down. When you’re feeling unappreciated or down on yourself, look at that list.

Remember, it’s not about seeking approval from others, it’s about appreciating yourself for your hard work and dedication. Every step forward is an accomplishment. Celebrate them.

5) Fearing failure

Fear of failure is something that holds many of us back. We’re so afraid of making mistakes or not being good enough that we don’t even try.

But here’s the thing: failure is not a bad thing. In fact, it’s an essential part of growth and learning. Each failure brings us one step closer to success.

When we fear failure, we limit our potential. We don’t take risks, we don’t push ourselves, and we don’t grow. And that can leave us feeling unfulfilled and unappreciated.

Don’t let fear hold you back. You are capable of more than you know. So go out there, take risks, make mistakes, learn, grow, and appreciate yourself for having the courage to try.

6) Not setting boundaries

This is a tough one. Setting boundaries means saying no to things that harm us, and yes to things that nourish us. But often, we’re afraid of letting people down, so we say yes when we really want to say no.

We over-commit, over-extend and over-stress ourselves, trying to please everyone but ourselves.

The result? We feel unappreciated, and it’s because we haven’t appreciated our own needs and limits. I’ve learned that setting boundaries isn’t about being selfish; it’s about self-respect.

It’s about acknowledging that your time, energy and well-being are valuable. It’s about giving yourself permission to prioritize your own needs.

When you start respecting your own boundaries, you’ll find that others will too. And in the process, you’ll cultivate a deeper sense of self-appreciation.

7) Not forgiving yourself

We all make mistakes. I’ve made plenty. But sometimes, instead of learning from our mistakes and moving on, we punish ourselves. We replay our mistakes over and over again in our minds, criticizing ourselves harshly.

I used to be my own harshest critic. I blamed myself for past mistakes and let them define me. I held onto guilt and regret, which only made me feel unappreciated and unworthy.

But then I realized that to truly appreciate myself, I needed to forgive myself.

Forgiveness is a powerful tool. It allows us to let go of past mistakes and move forward with our lives. It’s about accepting that we’re human, and humans make mistakes.

When you forgive yourself, you’re not saying that what you did was okay. You’re saying that you are not your mistakes. You’re more than the worst thing you’ve ever done.

8) Overlooking small joys

Life is full of simple pleasures and small joys. The smell of fresh coffee in the morning, the sound of laughter, a beautiful sunset, a good book – these little things add up to big happiness.

But often, we’re so busy chasing big achievements and milestones that we overlook these small joys. We think that we’ll appreciate ourselves when we reach a certain goal or milestone. But what about now?

Appreciation isn’t a destination, it’s a journey. It’s about finding joy in the journey and appreciating every moment, no matter how small.

So, take time to slow down and appreciate the little things in life. It’s these moments that make life beautiful. They remind us to appreciate ourselves and our journey. Because after all, life isn’t about the destination, it’s about the journey.

9) Believing you’re not enough

If there’s one thing you take away from this, let it be this: You are enough.

Just as you are. You don’t need to do more, be more, or have more to be appreciated or valuable. Your worth is inherent. It doesn’t come from your accomplishments, your appearance, or what others think of you.

This belief that we’re not enough is the root of many of our self-depreciating behaviors. It drives us to seek validation from others, to compare ourselves, to fear failure, and to neglect our own needs.

But here’s the truth: You are enough. You’ve always been enough.

When you truly believe this, you start to appreciate yourself in a whole new way. You no longer need validation from others because you validate yourself. You appreciate yourself for who you are, not what you do or how well you do it.

Embrace the journey of self-appreciation

Understanding and embracing our self-worth is a journey, not a destination. It’s a continuous process of learning, growing, and letting go of behaviors that no longer serve us.

As human beings, we are not defined by our mistakes or our past. Nor are we defined by the opinions and judgments of others. We are defined by our own values, actions, and the love we hold for ourselves.

Remember, self-appreciation isn’t about reaching a state of perfection. It’s about acknowledging our imperfections and still choosing to love ourselves wholly. The beauty lies in the journey of discovering our worth and breaking free from the chains of self-depreciation.

At the end of the day, you are enough just as you are. You always have been. And as you navigate through this journey of self-appreciation, remember that every step forward, no matter how small, is a victory worth celebrating.