If you dream of building a lasting, fulfilling relationship with someone who is kind and loyal, it’s time to take a hard look at your own actions.

While finding the right partner can feel like luck, it often comes down to the energy you attract and the behaviors you project.

The truth is, holding on to certain habits—no matter how small they seem—could be silently sabotaging your chances of finding the love you deserve.

If you’re ready to attract a partner who will stand by your side with unwavering loyalty, it’s time to say goodbye to these destructive 8 behaviors.

1) Playing the blame game

In the world of relationships, one behavior that can act as a deterrent to finding a kind and loyal partner is the tendency to constantly play the blame game.

We’ve all been there. Something goes wrong and, instead of owning up to our part in the situation, we point fingers at everyone else.

It’s a natural defense mechanism, a way to protect our ego.

But here’s the thing: it’s also a barrier to personal growth and healthy communication. It’s difficult to build a strong, lasting relationship with someone who never takes responsibility for their actions.

Imagine if you were considering two potential partners. One always blames others when things go wrong, while the other admits their mistakes and learns from them. Who would you be more drawn to?

Take responsibility for your actions. It’s not only an attractive trait but also a sign of maturity and emotional intelligence.

2) Being overly critical

Another behavior that can hinder the journey to a kind and loyal life partner is being overly critical.

As a relationship expert, I’ve seen how damaging constant criticism can be in a relationship. Nobody is perfect – we all have our strengths and weaknesses.

It’s important to remember this when interacting with potential life partners.

Remember that old saying from our childhood? “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.” It’s a simple piece of wisdom, but it holds a lot of weight in relationships.

The late, great Maya Angelou put it beautifully when she said, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

If you’re always criticizing your partner, they’ll start to associate you with negative feelings. And that’s not a recipe for a loving and faithful relationship.

Try to focus on the positives rather than the negatives. Constructive criticism has its place, but it should be balanced with positivity and appreciation. 

3) Being overly dependent

One behavior that can seriously hamper your chances of finding a kind and loyal life partner is being overly dependent.

Remember, a healthy relationship is made up of two independent individuals who choose to be together.

When one person becomes too reliant on the other, it can create an imbalance that’s not beneficial for either party.

In my book, “Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship”, I delve deeper into this issue and provide practical advice on how to establish and maintain relationships that are balanced and healthy.

Being overly dependent can make you lose touch with your individuality and personal growth. It’s essential to maintain your own interests, friendships, and personal space, even when you’re in a relationship.

4) Avoiding conflict

Here’s a behavior that might surprise you: avoiding conflict. On the surface, it might seem like a good thing. After all, who wants to argue?

But believe it or not, avoiding conflict can actually hinder your chances of finding a kind and loyal life partner.

Why, you ask? Because conflict is a natural part of any relationship. It’s how we address and navigate these conflicts that make the difference.

Avoiding conflict doesn’t make the issues disappear; it simply pushes them under the rug. And sooner or later, that rug becomes a mountain that becomes too big to ignore.

A key aspect of any successful relationship is open and honest communication.

This includes discussing disagreements and working through differences.

Instead of avoiding conflict, learn to manage it. Healthy disagreements can lead to better understanding and stronger connections. 

5) Neglecting self-care

This might sound a bit off-track, but bear with me. One behavior that can impact your journey to finding a kind and loyal life partner is neglecting self-care.

When I was younger, I used to think that I needed to put everyone else’s needs before my own to be considered a ‘good person’. But over time, I realized that constantly neglecting my own needs was leaving me feeling drained and unhappy.

And here’s the thing: you can’t pour from an empty cup.

If you’re not taking care of yourself mentally, physically, and emotionally, it becomes challenging to build and maintain a healthy relationship with someone else.

Self-care is not selfish, it’s necessary.

When you take care of yourself, you’re not only setting up a good example for your partner, but you’re also ensuring that you’re in the best shape possible to contribute positively to the relationship.

6) Ignoring red flags

Let’s get real for a moment. One behavior that can seriously impede your path to a kind and loyal life partner is ignoring red flags.

We’ve all been there. We meet someone we like, and we start to overlook certain behaviors or traits that might be problematic.

We make excuses, we justify, and we hope that these issues will magically disappear.

But here’s the hard truth: they won’t. Ignoring red flags doesn’t make them vanish. It just sets you up for pain and disappointment down the line.

A kind and loyal life partner will respect you, value you, and treat you with kindness and understanding. If you’re seeing behaviors that contradict these principles, don’t ignore them.

It’s better to face the truth head-on than to live in a world of denial. Trust me, your future self will thank you for it.

7) Being inflexible

Let me share something from my personal life.

Early in my relationships, I used to be quite rigid in my expectations and ways of doing things. But over time, I learned that being inflexible can be a serious roadblock in finding a kind and loyal life partner.

Relationships are about compromise. They require give-and-take, understanding, and flexibility.

If you’re stuck in your ways and unwilling to adapt or compromise, it can make it difficult for a relationship to grow and thrive.

Finding common ground doesn’t mean giving up who you are; it means growing into a better version of yourself, together with your partner.

8) Holding onto past hurts

Let’s cut to the chase. One behavior that can significantly hamper your journey to a kind and loyal life partner is holding onto past hurts.

We’ve all been hurt before. It’s part of life.

But if you’re still carrying around the pain from past relationships, it can prevent you from moving forward and embracing a new, potentially wonderful partnership.

Carrying past baggage into a new relationship isn’t fair to you or your potential partner. It creates a wall of mistrust and insecurity that can hinder the growth of the relationship.

The hard truth is this: To find a kind and loyal life partner, you need to let go of past hurts. It’s not easy, but it’s necessary.

Conclusion

Finding a kind and loyal life partner isn’t about luck; it’s about becoming the person who naturally attracts that type of love.

By letting go of the behaviors that create distance, doubt, or resentment, you open yourself up to the genuine connection you’re looking for.

For more insights and practical advice on building and maintaining healthy relationships, I invite you to read my book, “Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship”.

If you’re committed to a partnership built on loyalty and kindness, start with yourself.

Say goodbye to what’s holding you back, and watch the love you’ve been waiting for find its way into your life.