I believe that real grit and determination can be the key to overcoming just about any obstacle.

However, did you know there are certain habits that might be holding you back from developing these essential qualities?

These are everyday practices that we often overlook, but they can block our path to true grit and determination.

In this article, we’ll dive into the 8 habits you need to say goodbye to if you want to build real resilience.

Let’s get started.

1. Procrastination

First off, let’s talk about a habit that is all too familiar to many of us – procrastination.

Procrastination is the act of delaying or postponing tasks or actions. It’s the “I’ll do it later” mindset that keeps us from getting things done. The thing about procrastination is that it’s not just about being lazy. It’s often a coping mechanism for dealing with tasks we perceive as overwhelming or stressful.

However, if you’re serious about building grit and determination, it’s time to say goodbye to procrastination. This habit only serves to delay our progress and hinder our growth.

Instead, embrace a proactive approach. Start that project today, not tomorrow. Tackle that task now, not later. Remember, every action you take brings you closer to your goals.

As the renowned psychologist Dr. Albert Ellis once said, “The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny.”

It’s time to take control and beat procrastination once and for all.

2. Fear of failure

Let me share a personal story with you.

A few years back, I was terrified of public speaking. The mere thought of standing in front of a crowd and presenting made my stomach turn. I was afraid of making a fool out of myself, of failing in public.

But then, I realized something. This fear was holding me back from opportunities. It was preventing me from sharing my ideas, from learning and growing.

So I made a decision. I decided to face this fear head-on. I started small, giving presentations to small groups. Then, I gradually worked my way up to bigger audiences.

It was uncomfortable and scary, but every time I pushed through that fear and did it anyway, I felt stronger. My confidence grew with each presentation.

The fear of failure is a roadblock on the path to grit and determination. It forces us to stay in our comfort zones and prevents us from taking risks or trying new things.

3. Ego-driven decisions

Another habit that can prevent you from developing grit and determination is making ego-driven decisions. These are choices that we make in order to protect our self-image or to impress others, rather than because they are the right thing to do.

Let me tell you, ego-driven decisions can lead us down a path of regret and disappointment. They can prevent us from taking risks, learning from our mistakes, and ultimately growing as individuals.

This is something I delve into in my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego. In it, I discuss the importance of humility and self-awareness in our decision-making process.

The truth is, when we let go of our ego, we open ourselves up to a world of possibilities. We become more resilient, more adaptable, and ultimately more determined.

4. Negative self-talk

Psychology has shown us that the way we talk to ourselves can significantly impact our behavior, mindset, and overall mental health. Negative self-talk, the habit of constantly criticizing or belittling oneself, can be a major obstacle in building grit and determination.

When we engage in negative self-talk, we are essentially programming our brains to believe that we are incapable or unworthy. This can lead to self-doubt, low self-esteem, and an overall lack of motivation to pursue our goals.

If you find yourself constantly slipping into a pattern of negative self-talk, it’s time to take a step back and reassess. Try replacing those negative thoughts with positive affirmations. For example, instead of saying “I can’t do this”, try saying “I can learn how to do this”.

5. Seeking comfort

This might sound counter-intuitive, but seeking comfort can actually hold you back from building real grit and determination. Now, I’m not saying you should avoid comfort altogether. After all, we all need to unwind and relax from time to time.

However, the problem arises when we prioritize comfort to the point where it prevents us from pushing our boundaries and stepping out of our comfort zones.

Grit and determination are often forged in the fires of discomfort. It’s when we challenge ourselves, face our fears, and push our limits that we truly grow.

If you’re always opting for the easy path, the comfortable choice, it might be time to shake things up a bit. Try something new. Take a risk. Embrace discomfort.

6. Living in the past

One habit that can keep you from developing grit and determination is living in the past. Whether it’s dwelling on past mistakes or romanticizing ‘the good old days’, being stuck in the past can prevent us from moving forward.

Every minute spent dwelling on the past is a minute lost that could have been used to create your future. Learn from your mistakes, yes, but don’t let them define you.

Instead, focus on the present and the future. What can you do today to move closer to your goals? How can you apply the lessons of the past to create a better future?

As famous psychologist Dr. Carl Jung once said, “I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.”

Let’s choose to become individuals with real grit and determination, rather than individuals stuck in the past.

7. Perfectionism

Here’s something many people grapple with: perfectionism. This is the belief that everything we do must be flawless, and anything less is a failure. It’s a mindset that often results in excessive self-criticism, stress, and burnout.

But let’s face it, nobody is perfect. Mistakes and flaws are part of being human. They’re how we learn and grow.

The pursuit of perfection can actually hold us back from achieving our goals. It can cause us to procrastinate, to avoid taking risks, to give up when things get tough.

Instead of striving for perfection, strive for progress. Celebrate every step forward, no matter how small. And remember, it’s okay to be imperfect. In fact, it’s more than okay. It’s human.

8. Avoiding difficult conversations

The final habit to say goodbye to is avoiding difficult conversations. Whether it’s a tough talk with a colleague, a heart-to-heart with a loved one, or even a serious conversation with yourself, many of us shy away from these challenging discussions.

However, avoiding difficult conversations can lead to misunderstandings, resentment, and missed opportunities for growth. These conversations, though tough, often lead to greater clarity, stronger relationships, and personal development.

So instead of shying away from these talks, embrace them. Prepare for them. Be honest, be kind, but most importantly, be brave. It takes grit and determination to face these situations head-on.

In the words of American psychologist Susan David, “Discomfort is the price of admission to a meaningful life.”

Let’s not avoid discomfort. Instead, let’s embrace it and grow from it.

Conclusion: The power lies within you

At the end of the day, the power to develop grit and determination lies within you. It’s about choosing to let go of habits that hold you back, and embracing behaviors that propel you forward.

Each of the habits we’ve discussed is not just an action, but a mindset. And changing our mindset can be a profound and transformative process.

In my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego, I delve into various strategies for breaking free from limiting beliefs and habits. I believe that by understanding ourselves better, we can make more enlightened choices that lead to personal growth.

Building grit and determination isn’t about becoming someone else. It’s about becoming the best version of yourself. It’s about recognizing your potential and pushing past your perceived limitations.

As you step forward on this journey, remember the words of Mahatma Gandhi: “Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.”

Let’s harness that indomitable will within us, discard these 8 habits, and pave our way towards real grit and determination.