If you want to build emotional resilience as you get older, say goodbye to these 7 behaviors

As we age, emotional resilience becomes more important than ever. It’s about learning to bounce back from the tough stuff, while maintaining a positive outlook.
But there are certain behaviors that can hinder that process, keeping us stuck in negative patterns.
Building resilience is about letting go of these habits. It’s about saying goodbye to the things that don’t serve us, in order to make room for what does.
In this article, we’ll explore the seven behaviors you need to ditch if you want to build emotional resilience as you get older. So sit tight, and prepare to do some self-reflection.
1) Holding on to grudges
We’ve all been wronged at some point or another. It’s a part of life.
But as we age, it’s essential to learn how to let go of these grudges. Holding onto them only serves to weigh us down, and can even impact our mental health.
Emotional resilience is about learning to bounce back from these negative experiences. It’s about accepting what has happened, and finding the strength to move forward.
Harboring resentment only hinders this process. It keeps us stuck in the past, rather than focusing on the present and future.
So if you’re looking to build emotional resilience as you get older, it’s time to say goodbye to those old grudges.
Remember: forgiveness isn’t about the other person – it’s about you. It’s about freeing yourself from the burden of resentment, and making room for positivity and growth.
Letting go might not be easy, but it’s an important step towards building emotional resilience.
2) Avoiding change
I’ve always been someone who enjoys routine and predictability. It’s comfortable, it’s safe, and it gives me a sense of control.
But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that this aversion to change was actually holding me back.
Change is an inevitable part of life. It can be scary and uncomfortable, but it’s also necessary for growth.
I remember when I was offered a new job in a different city. The thought of uprooting my life and starting over was terrifying. But I knew that if I didn’t embrace this change, I’d always wonder “what if?”
Embracing change meant saying goodbye to what I knew and stepping into the unknown. But it also opened up new opportunities and experiences that I wouldn’t have had otherwise.
Now, whenever I’m faced with a big change, I remind myself of that experience. It helps me to embrace the uncertainty, rather than resisting it.
If you’re looking to build emotional resilience as you get older, don’t shy away from change. Instead, try to see it as an opportunity for growth and learning.
3) Fearing failure
One of the biggest roadblocks to emotional resilience is the fear of failure. It’s something that holds many of us back, preventing us from taking risks and pursuing our goals.
Many people see failure as a sign of weakness or incompetence. But the truth is, failure is a part of life. It’s how we learn, grow, and ultimately become stronger.
In my book, “The Art of Resilience: A Practical Guide to Developing Mental Toughness“, I delve into this concept in more detail. I discuss how shifting your perspective on failure can significantly impact your ability to bounce back from life’s challenges.
Seeing failure as an opportunity for growth rather than a setback can make all the difference. It can help you to build mental toughness and resilience, allowing you to navigate through life’s ups and downs with grace and ease.
So if you’re looking to build emotional resilience as you get older, it’s time to shift your perspective on failure.
Start seeing it as an opportunity for growth, rather than something to be feared. And if you need some guidance along the way, my book can provide valuable insights and practical tips to help you on your journey.
4) Neglecting self-care
There was a time when my life was all about work, work, and more work. Long hours at the office, skipped meals, and little to no exercise. I thought I was being productive, but in reality, I was neglecting my own well-being.
Self-care is a fundamental aspect of emotional resilience. It’s the act of taking care of your physical, mental, and emotional health.
This includes eating a balanced diet, getting regular exercise, taking time for relaxation and hobbies, and getting plenty of sleep.
When we neglect self-care, we leave ourselves vulnerable to stress and burnout. It becomes harder to bounce back from life’s challenges, and our overall quality of life can suffer.
On the other hand, when we make self-care a priority, we’re better equipped to handle whatever life throws our way. We’re more resilient, more balanced, and ultimately happier.
So if you want to build emotional resilience as you get older, make sure to prioritize self-care.
It’s not just about pampering yourself – it’s about taking care of your overall well-being so that you can handle life’s ups and downs with grace and resilience.
5) Always trying to be positive
Now, this might sound counter-intuitive. After all, isn’t positivity a good thing?
Certainly, maintaining a positive outlook is important. But it’s equally important to acknowledge and accept our negative emotions.
Life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows. There are going to be tough times, and it’s okay to feel upset, angry, or sad during these moments.
When we try to suppress or ignore these feelings, we’re not allowing ourselves to fully experience our emotions. This can lead to emotional exhaustion and even mental health issues.
Allowing ourselves to feel our negative emotions doesn’t make us weak. On the contrary, it’s a sign of emotional resilience. It shows that we’re able to face our emotions, understand them, and eventually move on from them.
Don’t fall into the trap of forced or toxic positivity. It’s okay to not be okay sometimes. Remember, it’s about balance – allowing yourself to feel all emotions, both positive and negative.
6) Overthinking
Overthinking is a common trap many of us fall into. It involves replaying past events in our minds, worrying about the future, and creating negative scenarios that may never happen.
While it’s natural to think through things, constant overthinking can lead to stress, anxiety, and can even paralyze us from taking action.
It’s a behavior that doesn’t serve us well, especially when we’re trying to build emotional resilience.
Emotional resilience is about being able to bounce back from adversity. It involves acknowledging our feelings without getting stuck in them.
Overthinking, on the other hand, often leads to getting stuck in negative thought patterns.
Breaking free from overthinking isn’t easy, but it’s possible. It starts with recognizing when you’re doing it and then deliberately shifting your focus to something else.
7) Ignoring your feelings
Ignoring your feelings is like ignoring a warning sign on a road. It’s a signal that something needs your attention.
Our feelings are crucial sources of information. They tell us when something is wrong, when we’re happy, or when we’re hurt.
Ignoring these messages means missing out on valuable insight about ourselves and our lives.
Being emotionally resilient involves acknowledging those feelings, understanding them, and then making informed decisions based on this understanding.
Final thoughts
Emotional resilience isn’t something you’re born with — it’s something you build. And like any construction project, it requires tearing down what’s no longer serving you to make room for something stronger.
By saying goodbye to these seven behaviors, you’re not just letting go of old habits — you’re creating space for growth, confidence, and inner strength.
The truth is, life will always have its challenges. But resilience isn’t about avoiding hardships — it’s about learning how to face them without falling apart.
It’s about developing the ability to adapt, recover, and keep moving forward, even when things feel heavy. And while it’s not an overnight process, every small shift in behavior adds up.
If you’re ready to take this journey further, my book, “The Art of Resilience: A Practical Guide to Developing Mental Toughness“, offers practical advice and strategies to help you navigate life’s toughest moments.
From overcoming self-doubt to bouncing back from setbacks, this guide is designed to help you strengthen your emotional core and face life’s challenges with confidence.
Building resilience is a lifelong process, but with the right tools, it gets easier.
The more you practice, the more you’ll realize that emotional strength isn’t about being unshakable — it’s about knowing you can rebuild, no matter what life throws your way.