If you’re one of those people who think that becoming mentally stronger involves doing more, learning more, achieving more – well, buddy, you’ve got it all wrong.

And let me tell you why.

Mental strength isn’t about being a superhero.

It’s not about wearing a cape and saving the world from an impending apocalypse.

It’s about being the superhero of your own freaking life. But here’s the kicker: sometimes, being that superhero involves less doing, and more letting go.

In this no-nonsense article, we’re going to identify the habits, mindsets, and behaviors that might be weighing you down more than you realize.

We’re talking about those sneaky little anchors that are preventing you from reaching your full potential.

So get ready for some hard truths, because this journey of self-discovery and growth isn’t always a walk in the park. 

1) Toxic relationships

Are you surrounded by people who drain your energy, constantly criticize you, or never truly support your dreams and goals?

One of the most challenging yet crucial steps towards becoming mentally stronger is to let go of toxic relationships.

These relationships can be with friends, family members, or romantic partners.

The common thread is that they leave you feeling depleted, undervalued and doubting yourself.

They create an environment of negativity and stress, which can heavily impact your mental strength and overall well-being.

Recognizing these relationships for what they are is the first step.

The next step is to begin distancing yourself from these individuals and seeking out positive, supportive relationships instead.

It’s not an easy process, but it’s a necessary one if you’re serious about building your mental fortitude. 

2) Fear of failure

Do you find yourself shying away from opportunities because you’re scared you might not succeed?

It’s time to let go of your fear of failure.

The fear of failure can be a huge roadblock on your path to becoming mentally stronger.

It holds you back, keeps you in your comfort zone and prevents you from taking risks that could potentially lead to great rewards.

Years ago, I had the chance to take on a project that was way out of my comfort zone.

It was daunting and I was terrified of messing it up.

So, I turned it down.

Later, I watched a colleague take up that same project and, yes, they stumbled at times.

But guess what?

They learned, they adapted, and ultimately, they succeeded.

It was then that I realized that I had let my fear rob me of a valuable opportunity for growth.

Failure isn’t a monster to be feared.

It’s a teacher, a guide.

Every time you stumble, you learn something new – about the task at hand, about the world, about yourself.

And with every lesson learned, you become a little bit stronger. 

3) Living in the past

As author and motivational speaker, Dr. Steve Maraboli once said, “The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.”

Are you clinging to past mistakes or yesterday’s disappointments?

It’s time to let go of living in the past.

Living in the past is like trying to drive forward while constantly looking in the rearview mirror.

It’s distracting and it prevents you from focusing on the road ahead.

More than that, it stops you from fully experiencing and enjoying the present.

The past, whether it’s full of regrets or ‘good old days’, can be a comfortable place to dwell.

But it’s not where growth happens.

Growth happens here and now, in the present moment.

4) The need for approval

Picture this: You’ve just finished a project that you’re genuinely proud of.

You’ve poured your heart and soul into it, and you know it’s some of your best work yet.

But instead of basking in your accomplishment, you find yourself anxiously waiting for validation from others.

If this scenario sounds all too familiar, then it’s time to let go of the need for approval.

Seeking validation from others is a natural human tendency.

We all like to be appreciated and acknowledged.

But when your sense of self-worth becomes dependent on other people’s approval, it’s a slippery slope.

You begin to lose touch with your own aspirations and start tailoring your actions according to what you think will please others.

The journey towards mental strength involves recognizing and valuing your own worth, independent of what others think or say about you.

It’s about trusting and believing in yourself, even when others don’t. 

5) Negative self-talk

According to a study published in the Journal of Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience, individuals who engaged in self-affirmations were more likely to view threatening information in a less defensive manner, making it easier for them to accept and deal with their weaknesses.

So let’s talk about that little voice in your head.

Is it your biggest cheerleader or your harshest critic?

If it’s the latter, it’s time to let go of negative self-talk.

Negative self-talk is like a hidden saboteur, constantly undermining your efforts and eroding your confidence.

It magnifies your flaws, downplays your strengths, and convinces you that you’re not good enough, smart enough, or capable enough.

The first step towards overcoming negative self-talk is awareness. Pay attention to the way you talk to yourself.

Would you speak to a friend the way you speak to yourself? If not, it’s time for a change.

Replace harsh, critical words with kind, encouraging ones.

Practice self-affirmations.

Remind yourself of your worth, your skills, and your achievements.

This shift in self-perception can have a profound impact on your mental strength and resilience.

6) Perfectionism

I remember a time when I was working on a project and I kept tweaking it again and again, trying to make it perfect.

The deadline came and went, and I was still stuck in the cycle of continuous editing.

It was then that I realized that my quest for perfection had become a form of procrastination.

Do you find yourself constantly striving for perfection? It’s time to let go of perfectionism.

Perfectionism can be a major roadblock on your journey to becoming mentally stronger.

It can lead to fear of failure, procrastination, and even burnout.

The truth is, nothing in this world is perfect. Even the most successful people make mistakes and have flaws.

Instead of striving for perfection, strive for progress.

Focus on improving and learning, rather than achieving an unrealistic standard of perfection.

Celebrate your small victories and learn from your mistakes. This shift in mindset can significantly boost your mental strength and resilience.

7) Comparison

Ever found yourself scrolling through social media, looking at someone else’s life and feeling a pang of envy?

Maybe they have a better job, a bigger house, or seem to be having more fun than you.

If this sounds familiar, it’s time to let go of comparison.

Comparison is often called the thief of joy, and for good reason.

When you compare your life to others’, you’re focusing on what you lack rather than appreciating what you have.

This can lead to feelings of inadequacy, jealousy, and dissatisfaction.

But here’s the thing: what you see on social media or from the outside is often a curated, edited version of someone’s life.

You’re comparing your behind-the-scenes with their highlight reel.

The journey towards mental strength involves focusing on your own path and progress.

Everyone has their own unique journey with different challenges and triumphs.

Instead of comparing yourself to others, try to compare yourself to who you were yesterday and focus on your own growth and improvement.

The bottom line

The subtleties of human resilience and mental strength often have profound ties to our personal growth and self-awareness.

One such connection is the relationship between mental strength and the concept of neuroplasticity.

This concept, backed by extensive scientific research, proposes that our brains are malleable and can change and adapt throughout our lives, in response to our experiences and actions.

For those seeking mental strength, neuroplasticity might be a beacon of hope.

The notion that our brains can adapt implies that change is possible, that we can cultivate resilience, and that we’re not forever bound by our past or present circumstances.

Whether it’s letting go of past mistakes, embracing vulnerability, or valuing growth over comfort, the underlying neural transformation could be enriching our mental strength.

Ultimately, the journey toward mental strength isn’t a sprint but a marathon.

As you navigate this path, remember that every step forward, however small, is a testament to your evolving mental strength.