In life, respect is earned, not given. We all crave respect, and it’s not about being superior or dominant, but about being valued for who we are.

Here’s the rub: some of our behaviors can chip away at that respect without us even noticing. And often, it’s the small things that count.

Saying goodbye to certain behaviors might be the key to truly earning the respect we desire.

This is the game plan – I’m going to dive into 10 behaviors you should drop if you want to be truly respected in life.

Get ready for some self-reflection, and remember, change always starts from within.

1) Being judgmental

We all have moments when we pass judgment on others. It’s human nature, after all. But let’s be real – it’s a habit that can seriously undermine our respectability.

Why? Because being judgmental often comes across as being narrow-minded and lacking in empathy. It suggests that you’re not open to understanding others or considering different perspectives.

And the reality is, everyone has their own unique life experiences, values, and beliefs. No two people are the same.

So, if you’re quick to judge, it might be time to hit the ‘pause’ button. Instead, try to understand where the other person is coming from. Show some empathy.

Gaining respect often begins with giving respect. And a big part of that is respecting the diversity of human experiences and viewpoints.

So, say goodbye to your judgmental side. Your future self – and those around you – will thank you for it.

2) Being unreliable

I’ll admit, I’ve been guilty of this one myself. A few years back, I had a bad habit of overcommitting. I’d agree to too many projects, social engagements, and responsibilities. And the end result? I couldn’t follow through on my commitments.

Let’s be honest, no one likes a flake. When you constantly cancel plans or fail to meet deadlines, it erodes the trust others have in you. They start to see you as unreliable and inconsistent.

I learned the hard way that it’s better to under promise and over deliver than the other way round. By being more realistic about what I can handle and then delivering on those commitments, I began to rebuild the respect I had lost.

So, if you want others to respect you, be a person of your word. Show up when you say you will, deliver on your promises, and if you can’t, communicate it early and honestly. It’s a simple change, but it can make a world of difference to how others perceive you.

3) Not listening

Here’s something to mull over: humans spend around 70% of their waking hours communicating, and of that time, we spend about 45% listening. Yet, how many of us can truly say we’re good listeners?

Listening isn’t just about staying quiet while the other person talks. It’s about paying attention, showing interest, and understanding what’s being said.

However, many of us are guilty of simply waiting for our turn to speak. We interrupt, we get distracted, and we miss the chance to connect on a deeper level.

Respected individuals understand the power of active listening. They know that by listening, they’re not only learning but also showing respect towards the speaker.

If you want to be truly respected in life, hone your listening skills. Communication is a two-way street.

4) Always playing the victim

Life can be tough. We all face challenges, obstacles, and setbacks. But there’s a big difference between acknowledging your misfortunes and constantly playing the victim.

People who always blame others or circumstances for their problems can be difficult to respect. Why? Because it suggests a lack of accountability and a refusal to take control of one’s life.

Being respected means showing resilience in the face of adversity. It means taking responsibility for your actions and decisions, and learning from your mistakes.

If you find yourself always playing the victim, it might be time to switch gears.

Start taking charge of your life, accept responsibility when needed, and work on solutions rather than dwelling on problems.

You’ll not only gain respect but also a renewed sense of empowerment.

5) Gossiping

Gossiping can seem like harmless fun, but it can quickly erode trust and respect. It’s a behavior that essentially says, “I can’t be trusted to respect people’s privacy or to avoid spreading rumors.”

When you gossip, it sends a signal that you might do the same with other people’s secrets or private matters. Not exactly a recipe for respect, is it?

If you want to be respected, make it a point to stay clear of gossip. Show others that you can be trusted with confidential information and that you respect the privacy of others.

Your words reflect your character. Choose them wisely.

6) Lack of empathy

In a world where you can be anything, be kind. It’s a sentiment that’s been echoed countless times, and for good reason. Empathy, the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, is at the heart of human connection.

When we lack empathy, we create distance between ourselves and others. We fail to understand their experiences, their struggles, and their emotions. And this lack of understanding can make it hard for others to respect us.

But when we show empathy, we bridge gaps. We connect on a deeper level. We show that we’re not just concerned with our own lives, but also with the lives of those around us.

Strive to understand. Strive to connect. Because in doing so, you’ll earn more than just respect – you’ll earn genuine connections and meaningful relationships.

7) Being ungrateful

Sometimes, it’s easy to get caught up in what we don’t have and forget to appreciate what we do have. I remember a time when all I could see were the things I hadn’t achieved, the goals I hadn’t reached. It felt like I was constantly striving for more, never satisfied with where I was.

But this mindset can be harmful. When we’re ungrateful, we tend to focus on the negatives in our lives. We overlook the positives and the progress we’ve made. And this can paint us as unappreciative or entitled – not exactly traits that command respect.

Switching my focus to gratitude made a huge difference. It helped me appreciate my journey, the people in my life, and the small victories along the way.

If you want to be respected, practice gratitude. Recognize and appreciate the good in your life, and make sure to express it. It’s a simple shift in perspective that can make a world of difference.

8) Not taking care of yourself

How you treat yourself sets the standard for how others will treat you. Neglecting your own needs and well-being sends a message that you don’t value yourself. And if you don’t value yourself, why should others?

Taking care of yourself isn’t just about physical health. It’s also about mental and emotional well-being. It’s about setting boundaries, prioritizing self-care, and understanding that it’s okay to put yourself first sometimes.

When you show that you respect and care for yourself, it commands respect from others too. It shows that you understand your own worth and that you won’t settle for less than you deserve.

Start prioritizing self-care. Not only will it improve your own well-being, but it’ll also boost the respect others have for you.

9) Acting superior

No one is above or below anyone else. We’re all humans, with our own strengths, weaknesses, and life experiences. Acting superior or looking down on others is a surefire way to lose respect.

True respect comes from treating everyone as equals, regardless of their status, background, or beliefs. It’s about acknowledging the worth and dignity of every individual.

If you want to be truly respected in life, embrace humility. Recognize that we all have something to learn from each other. Treat everyone with kindness and respect, and you’ll find that you receive the same in return.

Final thoughts: It’s about character

At the heart of respect lies character. The kind of person we are, how we treat others, and how we treat ourselves all play a crucial role in how much respect we command.

The behaviors we’ve talked about aren’t just about looking good in front of others. They’re about becoming the best version of ourselves.

When we let go of gossip, when we practice gratitude, when we treat everyone as equals, we’re not just earning respect – we’re growing as individuals.

Earning respect isn’t an overnight transformation. It’s a constant journey of self-improvement and self-awareness.

Maya Angelou once said, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

So make people feel valued. Make people feel heard. Make people feel respected. And watch as the respect you seek finds its way back to you.