We’ve all met those people who seem to light up a room, effortlessly drawing others in with their positive energy.

If you’ve ever wondered what makes them so magnetic, it’s not just about charisma—it’s also about what they avoid doing.

Certain negative behaviors can push people away and prevent you from forming deeper, more meaningful connections.

In this article, we’ll explore seven common habits that, if left unchecked, can keep you from being the person everyone enjoys being around.

Letting go of these behaviors will help you build stronger, more fulfilling relationships.

1) Complaining constantly

Let’s face it, everyone has bad days.

But there’s a difference between occasionally venting about life’s frustrations and being a constant source of negativity.

If you’re always complaining about everything and everyone, you’re only draining the energy out of the room and the people in it.

Believe me, misery might love company, but company certainly doesn’t love misery!

If you want to be that person everyone wants to be around, make a conscious effort to limit your complaints.

Instead, focus on spreading positivity — people are naturally drawn to that. Offer solutions rather than problems. Create an atmosphere that makes others feel uplifted and inspired. 

2) Being dismissive

I’ll never forget an encounter I had with a friend a couple of years back. We were having coffee, and he was sharing his struggles with his job.

Instead of listening, I downplayed his feelings and quickly changed the subject. I realized later how dismissive I had been, and it made me feel awful.

Being dismissive of others’ experiences and emotions can create a barrier. It can make people feel undervalued and insignificant.

Everyone has a story. And every story is worth listening to. If you want to be someone people enjoy being around, try to be more empathetic.

Listen to their stories, validate their feelings, and show genuine interest in their experiences. We all want to be heard and understood, after all.

3) Living in autopilot

Often, we go through life on autopilot. We get so caught up in our routines and to-do lists that we forget to truly experience the world around us.

This lack of presence can impact our relationships. It can make others feel like we’re not fully there with them, leading to a sense of disconnection.

Mindfulness is the antidote to this. It’s about focusing on the present moment, being aware of our thoughts, feelings, and surroundings without judgment.

In my book, “The Art of Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Living in the Moment”, I delve deeper into how mindfulness can transform your life.

By practicing mindfulness, you can:

• Develop a deeper connection with others
• Become more empathetic
• Create an environment where people feel seen and valued

So start living in the moment — being fully engaged with those around you will make every interaction feel more precious and meaningful. 

4) Not taking responsibility

There was a time when I would always find someone or something to blame for my mistakes.

Whether it was a missed deadline or a failed project, I always had an excuse ready. It took a while to realize that this behavior was driving people away.

Taking responsibility for your actions is crucial in building trust and respect. It shows maturity and a willingness to learn from mistakes.

When you own up to your errors, you demonstrate authenticity and integrity, traits that make others want to be around you.

So, embrace your mistakes. Learn from them. Grow from them. It’s not about being perfect; it’s about being real. And that’s the kind of person everyone wants to be around.

5) Always saying ‘yes’

Here’s something you might not expect: being a ‘yes man’ or ‘yes woman’ can actually be off-putting to others.

It might seem like always agreeing with others or constantly being available would make you more likable. But in reality, it can make you come across as insincere, or even desperate for approval.

As author and life coach Christine Carter points out in Greater Good Magazine:

“We don’t actually fool anyone. We humans aren’t actually very good at hiding how we are feeling. We exhibit micro-expressions that the people we are with might not know they are registering but that trigger mirror neurons—so a little part of their brain thinks that they are feeling our negative feelings.”

All that to say — people appreciate authenticity. They respect those who can set boundaries and say ‘no’ when necessary.

So, don’t be afraid to express your own opinions, even if they differ from the crowd. And don’t overcommit yourself just to please others.

Trust me, being able to say ‘no’ can sometimes be the most attractive ‘yes’ to others. It’s your authenticity and self-respect that will truly attract people to you. 

6) Being judgemental

Let’s get real — none of us likes being judged. And yet, passing judgement on others can sometimes be a reflexive habit we don’t even realize we’re doing.

Judgement creates a divide. It puts us in a position of superiority and the other person in a position of inferiority. This dynamic is far from conducive to building good relationships.

If you want to be the kind of person people love to be around, you need to cultivate an attitude of acceptance and understanding.

Appreciate people’s differences. Celebrate their uniqueness. And most importantly, reserve judgement.

When people feel accepted and valued for who they are, they’ll naturally want to spend more time with you.

7) Neglecting self-care

The most magnetic people are those who glow with genuine happiness and contentment. And that glow comes from within. It comes from taking care of your own physical, emotional, and mental well-being.

Neglecting self-care is not only harmful to you but also to your relationships.

It’s a simple principle: you just can’t pour from an empty cup. If you’re not at your best, you can’t give your best to others.

So, make self-care a priority. Eat healthily, exercise regularly, get enough rest, and take time for hobbies and activities that you love.

When you take care of yourself, you radiate positive energy that attracts people to you. 

Final thoughts

The most likable people are those who make others feel valued, respected, and uplifted.

By focusing on empathy, kindness, and self-awareness, you’ll naturally attract people who enjoy your company and want to be a part of your life.

A key part of this transformation is mindfulness, the ability to be present and aware of how your actions affect those around you.

In my book, “The Art of Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Living in the Moment”, I delve deeper into the role mindfulness plays in personal growth and transformation.

By embracing mindfulness, we can cultivate behaviors that make us not just someone people want to be around, but someone they want to learn from and grow with.

The result? Stronger, more fulfilling relationships that are built on mutual respect and appreciation.