Respect is a two-way street. If you want it, you have to give it. But sometimes, there are behaviors that can sabotage our efforts to be respected, even if we’re not consciously aware of them.

This entails more than just basic politeness. It’s about making a conscious effort to show you value others and their time.

See, there are certain behaviors that can easily make you lose people’s respect. And the worst part is, you might not even realize you’re doing them.

In this article titled “If you want to be respected, say goodbye to these 9 behaviors”, we’ll dive into these respect killers. By identifying them and working towards eliminating them from your life, you’ll be on a better path to earning the respect you desire.

1) Constant interruptions

One behavior that can quickly erode respect is constantly interrupting others.

No one likes to feel as though their voice isn’t being heard. When you interrupt someone, you’re essentially telling them that what you have to say is more important than what they’re saying.

Interrupting is not only rude, it’s disrespectful and shows a lack of empathy.

Sure, we all get excited and want to share our thoughts sometimes, but constant interruption can lead to people feeling undervalued and disrespected.

If respect is what you’re after, make a conscious effort to listen more than you speak. Practice patience and let others finish their thoughts before expressing yours.

Remember, respect goes hand in hand with good listening skills. So before you interject, take a moment to consider if what you’re about to say really can’t wait.

2) Being late

I’ll share a personal example for this one. A few years back I had a friend who was notorious for running late. We’d make plans and inevitably, I’d be left waiting. It was frustrating, sure, but more than that, it felt disrespectful.

See, being late sends the message that your time is more valuable than the waiting person’s. Even if that’s not your intention, it’s often how it comes across.

After a while, I had a serious talk with my friend about it. I explained how it made me feel disrespected and undervalued. Thankfully, she took it to heart and made an effort to be more punctual.

The point is, if you want to be respected, punctuality matters. It shows you respect other people’s time and that you value the commitments you’ve made. So next time you’re running late, remember that it’s not just about inconvenience, it’s about respect as well.

3) Ignoring personal boundaries

Everyone has their own personal space and boundaries. Whether physical or emotional, these boundaries are an important aspect of respect.

For instance, did you know that according to psychologist Robert Sommer, most people feel uncomfortable when others come within 1.5 feet of them? That’s because this invades their personal space.

But it’s not just physical boundaries that matter. Emotional boundaries are just as important. This includes respecting people’s privacy and not pushing them to share more than they’re comfortable with.

Learning to recognize and respect these boundaries is key if you want to be respected. So take the time to understand others’ comfort zones and make sure you’re not crossing any lines.

4) Gossiping

It’s easy to fall into the trap of gossip. After all, who doesn’t love a juicy piece of information? But here’s the thing: Gossiping can seriously harm your reputation and the level of respect others have for you.

When you gossip, you’re essentially betraying someone’s trust. And once trust is lost, respect often follows suit. Moreover, if you’re known as a gossip, people may start to wonder what you’re saying about them behind their backs.

So if you want to be respected, steer clear of gossip. Stick to talking about ideas and events, not people. This will help you build a reputation as someone who respects others’ privacy and can be trusted with sensitive information.

5) Negative attitude

Negativity can be a respect killer. If you’re always the one complaining, criticizing, or seeing the glass half empty, people are likely to lose respect for you over time.

Why? Because negativity can be draining. It brings down the mood and makes it difficult for people to enjoy your company.

On the flip side, positivity attracts respect. When you’re positive, you lift others up and encourage a more enjoyable environment. You show that you can handle life’s ups and downs with grace and resilience.

So if you want to be respected, try to cultivate a positive attitude. It may not always be easy, but the respect you’ll gain will be well worth it.

6) Lack of empathy

At the root of respect lies empathy. To truly respect someone, you need to understand their feelings, thoughts, and experiences from their perspective.

Without empathy, it’s easy to dismiss others’ feelings or experiences as unimportant or invalid. This can lead to hurt feelings and a loss of respect.

Consider this: when someone shares a personal story or a struggle they’re facing, they’re opening up a vulnerable part of themselves. By responding with empathy, you honor that vulnerability and show that you value their feelings and experiences.

Empathy can be as simple as saying “I’m sorry you’re going through this” or “that sounds really tough”. It’s about acknowledging the other person’s experience and showing them that they’re not alone.

So if you want to be respected, strive to be more empathetic. It’s a small change that can make a big difference in how others perceive you.

7) Not admitting when you’re wrong

There was a time when I would argue relentlessly, simply to avoid admitting I was wrong. It wasn’t a particularly flattering trait and it certainly didn’t earn me any respect.

Over time, I realized that refusing to admit when you’re wrong is counterproductive. It can lead to unnecessary arguments and can easily make you lose people’s respect.

Admitting you’re wrong shows humility and honesty. It shows you value truth over your ego.

To earn respect, strive to be someone who can admit their mistakes and learn from them. It’s okay to be wrong – we all are at some point. What matters is how we handle it.

8) Being self-centered

Nobody likes being around someone who only talks about themselves. It’s exhausting and can quickly lead to a loss of respect.

Being self-centered shows a lack of consideration for others. It sends the message that you think you’re more important than everyone else.

On the other hand, showing genuine interest in others is a great way to earn respect. Ask people about their day, their interests, their experiences. Show them that you value their input and that you’re interested in them as individuals.

Remember, respect is about valuing others as much as you value yourself. So put aside your own interests from time to time and show others that you care about them too.

9) Not keeping your word

If you say you’re going to do something, do it. It’s as simple as that.

Failing to keep your word can quickly erode trust and respect. It sends the message that you’re unreliable and that your words can’t be taken seriously.

On the other hand, being someone who follows through on their commitments is a surefire way to earn respect. It shows you’re dependable, trustworthy, and value integrity.

In the end, earning respect comes down to being someone who can be relied upon. So if you give your word, be sure to keep it. It might seem small, but it’s a crucial part of gaining and maintaining respect.

The crux: It’s about character

The essence of respect is deeply intertwined with the fabric of our character.

These behaviors – constant interruptions, being late, ignoring personal boundaries, gossiping, a negative attitude, lack of empathy, not admitting when you’re wrong, being self-centered, and not keeping your word – they’re all indicative of our character.

Character is not a static state. It’s malleable. You can shape it. And when you shape it to invite respect, you’re also shaping it towards growth, empathy, and connection.

Remember the words of legendary basketball coach John Wooden: “Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.”

So as you reflect on these behaviors and consider which ones you might need to say goodbye to, remember that this isn’t just about being respected. It’s about becoming a better version of yourself.