In life, respect is not a given. It’s earned.

If you’re finding that you’re not receiving the level of respect you think you deserve, it could be because of certain behaviors that are pushing people away.

Roll up your sleeves, and let’s dive into the 10 behaviors you need to ditch if you want to earn real respect from those around you.

1) Lying

Nobody likes a liar. It’s as simple as that.

When you lie, you break trust, and without trust, respect is out of the question. Every time you’re dishonest, people’s faith in you diminishes a little.

The first step to gaining respect is always telling the truth, no matter how hard it may be. It might be uncomfortable at times, but honesty is one of the strongest pillars of respect. And the thing is, people might not always like the truth, but they’ll respect you for it.

2) Complaining a lot

We all have problems, and it’s perfectly okay to vent sometimes.

But if you’re constantly complaining about every little thing, it can be off-putting for those around you.

Complaining not only spreads negativity but also indicates a lack of initiative to solve the issues at hand. Instead of focusing on the problem, try focusing on the solution. Show people that you’re a problem-solver, someone who takes charge instead of just complaining.

3) Talking behind people’s backs

Now, this is a big no-no in the respect department.

I once had a friend, let’s call him John, who was always gossiping about others. He’d share the latest rumors and often speak negatively about people who weren’t around. At first, I didn’t think much of it. But then I started to wonder, if he’s saying all these things about others to me, what’s he saying about me to others?

That’s when I realized how damaging gossip can be. It breaks trust. It spreads negativity. And it definitely doesn’t earn you any respect. If you have an issue with someone, it’s best to talk to them directly rather than discussing them behind their back.

4) Being late

When you’re constantly late, it sends a message that you don’t value other people’s time.

It’s like saying your time is more important than theirs. On the other hand, showing up on time, or even a bit early, shows that you respect others and their schedules.

Plus, it reduces stress for everyone involved!

5) Breaking promises

Promises are more than just words; they’re commitments, pledges of trust. When you make a promise, you’re telling someone that they can rely on you. You’re giving your word that you’ll do something, and that carries a lot of weight.

But what happens when you break that promise? That trust gets shattered. It’s like dropping a glass vase; even if you try to glue it back together, it will never look the same again. And with every broken promise, the respect people have for you dwindles.

Being reliable is one of the most admirable qualities a person can have. It shows people that they can count on you, that your word means something. And in a world full of uncertainties, being someone others can trust is a sure way to earn respect.

6) Acting superior

Throughout my life, I’ve met a lot of people who thought they were better than everyone else. They were full of themselves, always talking about their achievements and looking down on others. Honestly, it was hard to respect them.

I’ve always admired people who are confident but not arrogant. People who know their worth but don’t feel the need to prove it at every turn. People who are open to learning from others and don’t think they’re always right.

Here’s what I’ve learned: humility is a sign of greatness. It’s not about belittling yourself; it’s about understanding that you’re not superior to others—that we all have our strengths and weaknesses, and that’s okay. Being humble has earned me more respect than any achievement ever has. Stay confident, stay humble, and the respect will follow.

7) Disrespecting others

Here’s the raw truth: if you’re a jerk, people won’t respect you. Period. It doesn’t matter if you’re the smartest, richest, or most successful person in the room—if you treat people poorly, they won’t have any respect for you.

We’ve all come across that person who thinks they can bulldoze over others, who treats people like they’re inferior or unimportant. It’s not a good look. In fact, it’s downright ugly.

The golden rule isn’t rocket science: treat others how you want to be treated. You want respect? Show respect. It doesn’t matter who they are or what their status is—everyone deserves to be treated with kindness and dignity.

8) Ignoring others’ feelings

Did you know that empathy is actually good for your health? Studies have shown that empathy can lower stress levels, improve your mood, and even increase your lifespan. But beyond the health benefits, it’s also a key factor in earning respect.

Ignoring others’ feelings is a fast track to losing their respect. It sends a message that you don’t care about their experiences or perspectives. On the other hand, showing empathy—validating their feelings, trying to understand their point of view—shows that you value them as individuals.

Take the time to listen and understand. Show people that their feelings matter to you. It’ll make them feel seen and heard, and they’ll respect you for it. Plus, it’s good for your health!

9) Not listening

Let me share a personal story. I once had a colleague who would always interrupt me when I was speaking. It was as if my words didn’t matter to him. It made me feel insignificant, and I quickly lost respect for him.

Listening is about more than just being silent when someone else is speaking. It’s about showing genuine interest in what they have to say. Understanding their perspective, asking thoughtful questions, and responding in a way that shows you’ve heard them.

When you really listen to someone, you’re telling them that they matter—that their thoughts and feelings are important.

10) Pretending to be someone else

Here’s the raw, unfiltered truth: faking it doesn’t work. Not in the long run. People can smell inauthenticity a mile away, and nothing will lose you respect faster than being a phony.

We all have insecurities. We all have things we wish we could change about ourselves. But pretending to be someone you’re not isn’t the answer. It’s exhausting, it’s see-through, and it’s utterly disrespectful to yourself.

The most respected people I know are unapologetically themselves. They own their flaws, they celebrate their quirks, and they don’t waste time trying to fit into someone else’s mold. They’re genuine, they’re real, and people respect them for it.

So stop pretending. Embrace who you are—every weird, wonderful, wacky part of you. Be authentic. Be genuine. Be real. And watch as the respect comes rolling in.