If you want to be respected by other people, never talk about these 10 things

Avatar by Isabel Cabrera | September 13, 2024, 10:53 am

Ever found yourself in the middle of a conversation, only to notice a sudden shift in the room’s energy? Chances are, you’ve just blundered into forbidden conversational territory.

While it may seem like an innocent slip-up, certain topics can quickly turn an enjoyable discussion into a social minefield. The reality is, if you want to be respected by others, there are just some things you shouldn’t talk about.

So, let’s navigate these conversational pitfalls together and shine some light on 10 subjects you should avoid if your goal is to earn respect.

These are topics that might seem harmless but can actually undermine the respect and trust others have for you.

1. Avoid Gossip

We’ve all been there. A little whisper here, a hushed conversation there – it’s an easy trap to fall into.

But if you want to be respected by others, gossip is a habit you need to kick.

Gossip can seem like harmless chatter, a way to feel connected or in-the-know. But the reality is, it’s a quick way to lose the trust and respect of those around you.

When you engage in gossip, it sends a message that others’ privacy isn’t important to you. It suggests that you might not be trustworthy with sensitive information.

Plus, it’s simply not fair to the person being talked about. They’re not there to defend themselves or present their side of the story.

So, the next time you’re tempted to share that juicy bit of info, remember this: if you want to command respect, keep the gossip to yourself.

2. Don’t Overshare Personal Problems

A few years back, I was at a social gathering and found myself engaged in a conversation with a few acquaintances. Without realizing it, I began pouring out my personal problems – work stress, family issues, financial worries.

Initially, they nodded sympathetically. But soon, I noticed their smiles were forced, their eyes looking for an escape route. It hit me like a ton of bricks – I was the party downer.

Here’s the thing: while it’s essential to share our struggles and seek support, there’s a time and place for everything. Continually discussing personal problems can make people uncomfortable and portray you as someone who is always in crisis.

Your personal woes aren’t taboo, but respecting the comfort level of others is equally important when aiming for respect.

3. Keep Salary Details Private

Money is a sensitive topic, and how much you earn can stir up a whole range of emotions in others, from envy to inadequacy.

Discussing your salary, especially if it’s unsolicited, can come off as boastful or insensitive. It can create unnecessary comparisons and competition, disrupting harmony in relationships or workplaces.

Remember, people value humility and discretion. It’s okay to discuss financial goals or seek advice on money management.

But revealing your exact earnings can be considered in poor taste.

4. Steer Clear of Controversial Topics

In an era where information is at our fingertips, it’s easy to form strong opinions about a plethora of subjects. But sometimes, these opinions can be on controversial topics like politics, religion, or social issues.

While healthy debate and discussion can be enriching, they can also quickly escalate into heated arguments.

These topics are deeply personal, and discussing them can inadvertently lead to hurt feelings or discomfort.

So, next time you’re in a conversation, consider the context and the comfort level of others before diving into potentially controversial waters.

5. Refrain from Criticizing Others’ Life Choices

We all walk different paths in life. Each of us makes choices based on our own experiences, values, and dreams. But sometimes, it can be easy to judge or criticize others’ decisions when they don’t align with our own.

Remember, every person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Their choices are shaped by their unique journey. When we criticize these choices, we not only disrespect their journey but also risk damaging our relationship with them.

So, instead of passing judgment, try to cultivate empathy and understanding.

Show genuine interest in their life decisions and listen without the intent to reply or advise.

By doing so, you’ll demonstrate respect for their individuality and earn their respect in return. 

6. Avoid Bragging

We all love to share our achievements and victories. It’s natural to want to celebrate our successes.

But there’s a fine line between sharing joy and outright bragging.

Bragging about your accomplishments, possessions, or experiences can come off as self-centered and pretentious. It can create a sense of superiority that isn’t conducive to mutual respect.

Moreover, it shifts the focus of the conversation entirely onto you, leaving little room for others to share their experiences and achievements.

So, the next time you’re eager to share your latest achievement, consider the context and the way you present it.

Sharing joy is wonderful, but remember to also show interest in others’ victories and experiences.

7. Don’t Discuss Personal Relationships

Ever been in a conversation where someone starts discussing their tumultuous relationship or their best friend’s messy divorce?

It can make you feel like an unwilling participant in a soap opera, and it’s an unwelcome position to be in.

Discussing the intimate details of your personal relationships not only disrespects the privacy of the people involved, but it can also leave others feeling uncomfortable and awkward.

8. Avoid Negative Body Commentary

Our bodies are incredibly personal, and comments about someone’s appearance can have a significant impact.

What might seem like a harmless joke or a casual observation can actually hurt feelings or even affect someone’s self-esteem.

According to a study, negative body talk can lead to higher levels of body dissatisfaction and lower self-esteem.

So, it’s crucial to be mindful of our words when discussing others’ appearances.

Instead of focusing on physical attributes, why not highlight something they’ve achieved or a positive trait they possess?

9. Do Not Reveal Others’ Secrets

Back when I was in college, I made the mistake of sharing a friend’s secret with another friend. I thought it was harmless, just a bit of gossip. But when the secret got out, my friend was hurt and felt betrayed.

It took a long time to rebuild that trust, and it taught me a valuable lesson: someone else’s secret is not your story to tell.

When someone confides in you, they’re placing their trust in you. Betraying that trust not only hurts them personally, but it can also damage your reputation and relationships with others.

So, if you want to be respected by others, honor their trust and keep their secrets safe.

10. Never Make Fun of People’s Passions

We all have interests and hobbies that we’re deeply passionate about. These passions bring joy to our lives and often define who we are.

Making fun of what someone loves can be deeply hurtful. It dismisses their interests as unimportant or silly, which can feel like a personal attack.

Even if you don’t share someone’s passion for early 20th-century art, their extensive stamp collection, or their love for bird watching, respect their enthusiasm.

After all, our passions are what make us unique.

Celebrating these differences, rather than mocking them, is a key step in earning the respect of others.

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