You know, growing old is a privilege not everyone gets to enjoy. Yet, as we age, we often hear phrases like “respect your elders”.

But what if I told you respect isn’t just served on a silver platter because you’ve added a few more candles on your birthday cake?

Here’s the kicker.

Respect, especially as you age, is earned. It’s not simply about the number of years you’ve lived but more about how you’ve lived those years.

So, if you’re asking yourself, “How can I be more respected as I get older?” it might be time to assess your behaviors. 

There could be certain habits that are pulling respect away from you rather than attracting it.

In this piece, let’s delve into the behaviors you might want to say goodbye to if you want to garner more respect in your later years.

1) Forgetting the power of humility

It’s easy to slip into a mindset that our years of experience somehow entitle us to a certain level of respect.

But let’s be real, boasting about accomplishments or adopting an air of superiority will likely not earn us the respect we crave.

Instead, humility is where it’s at.

Acknowledging the accomplishments of others, showing gratitude, listening more than talking – these are all signs of humility that can draw respect from those around us.

2) Ignoring the value of patience

Patience. It’s something I’ve learned the hard way.

You see, I used to be someone who’d get frustrated easily, especially when things didn’t go according to my plan. I would snap at people, become irritable, and let’s just say, it wasn’t a pretty sight.

But then I realized something.

This impatience of mine? It was pushing people away. And respect? It was dwindling.

So, I decided to change.

I started practicing patience. Whether it was waiting in a long line at the grocery store, dealing with a difficult co-worker, or simply dealing with life’s unexpected turns, I tried to remain calm and composed.

And guess what?

Not only did this make me feel better about myself, but I also noticed a shift in how others perceived me. My relationships improved and the respect? It started pouring in.

So, if you’re someone who tends to lose patience quickly, it might be time to work on this aspect. 

Patience isn’t just a virtue; it could also be your ticket to earning more respect as you age.

3) Neglecting the importance of kindness

I’ll let you in on a little secret. Kindness never goes out of style.

There was a time when I thought that being firm and assertive were the only ways to command respect, especially as I got older. But I was wrong.

I remember this one incident when I was in a hurry to catch my flight. In my rush, I bumped into a young man, causing him to drop his coffee. Instead of apologizing, I scolded him for not watching where he was going and hurried off.

But my conscience got the better of me.

I turned around, went back to him, bought him a fresh cup of coffee and apologized for my rudeness. The look of surprise – and respect – on his face was worth more than any flight I could have caught.

Since then, I’ve tried to be kinder in my interactions with others, and the effect has been profound. Not only do people respond positively towards me, but they also show me greater respect.

4) Dismissing the concept of lifelong learning

Just because we’re getting older doesn’t mean we should stop learning. In fact, embracing the idea that we can learn something new each day can be incredibly empowering.

It shows others that we value growth and self-improvement, and aren’t stuck in our ways just because of our age. This willingness to learn and adapt not only keeps us relevant but also invites respect from those around us.

If you’ve been dismissing the concept of lifelong learning, it may be time to reconsider.

Remember, our age doesn’t define us. Our willingness to evolve and grow does.

5) Overlooking the art of active listening

Did you know that good listeners are often perceived as people leaders and garner more respect?

Unfortunately, as we age, we often fall into the habit of dominating conversations with our experiences and wisdom, forgetting to listen to what others have to say.

Respect is not just about being heard; it’s also about hearing others. By practicing active listening, we show others that we value their thoughts and opinions, which in turn, can earn us more respect.

6) Clinging to outdated beliefs

We all have beliefs. They shape our worldview, guide our decisions, and are a fundamental part of who we are.

But sometimes, we hold on to beliefs that no longer serve us – or worse, hinder our growth.

For me, it was the belief that I always needed to be in control. This belief served me well in my younger years, helping me navigate life and its many challenges. But as I got older, it became more of a hindrance than a help.

It painted me as rigid and inflexible in the eyes of others, impeding the respect I desired. It wasn’t until I learned to let go of this outdated belief that I began to see a shift.

I became more open-minded, more adaptable, and more understanding. And as I changed, so did people’s perceptions of me. The respect I had been seeking began to flow naturally.

So take a moment and reflect on your beliefs. Are they attracting respect or pushing it away?

It’s never too late to change. And sometimes, change can lead us down the path of respect we’ve been longing for.

7) Neglecting self-respect

If we don’t respect ourselves, how can we expect others to do the same? It’s about setting boundaries, standing up for what we believe in, and treating ourselves with kindness and compassion.

When we truly respect ourselves, it shines through. It’s visible in our actions, our words, and our demeanor. And it’s this kind of respect that truly resonates with others.

So if you’re seeking respect as you age, start with self-respect. It’s the best gift you can give to yourself and a surefire way to command the respect of others.

Final thoughts

There you have it.

If any of these behaviors resonate with you, don’t despair. The beauty of life is that we always have the opportunity to change and grow.

Start by reflecting on your own behaviors. Are they attracting respect or pushing it away? Once you identify these patterns, the real work begins.

Change won’t come overnight. But with persistence and conscious effort, you can shift these habits.

Each act of humility, each moment of patience, each gesture of kindness, each instance of active listening – they all contribute to a more respectful you.

Remember the wise words of Laurence Sterne: “Respect for ourselves guides our morals; respect for others guides our manners.”

So as you journey through life, let respect be your compass.

Not only will it guide you towards better relationships with others, but it will also lead you towards a more fulfilling relationship with yourself.

And isn’t that the ultimate mark of growing older with grace?